The Betrayal Bond

Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships
Narrated by: Paul Costanzo
Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (138 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Exploitive relationships can create trauma bonds-chains that link a victim to someone who is dangerous to them. Divorce, employee relations, litigation of any type, incest and child abuse, family and marital systems, domestic violence, hostage negotiations, kidnapping, professional exploitation and religious abuse are all areas of trauma bonding. All these relationships share one thing: they are situations of incredible intensity or importance where there is an exploitation of trust or power.

In The Betrayal Bond, Patrick Carnes presents an in-depth study of these relationships, why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. He shows how to recognize when traumatic bonding has occurred and gives a checklist for examining relationships. He then provides steps to safely extricate from these relationships. This is a book you will turn to again and again for inspiration and insight, while professionals will find it an invaluable reference work.

©1997 Patrick J. Carnes (P)2017 Tantor

What listeners say about The Betrayal Bond

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Punch To The Gut

From beginning to end, what was said in this book and revealed to me about myself felt like gut punches and soul stabs. Often accompanied by heavy, deep soul sighs. This book really hit home. Highly recommended! When I got to the parts that required me to complete exercises, I felt anxious. Probably because it was a change from just talking about my misery and made me actually do something about it. The exercises were revealing, relevant, and effective. This book just "gets me". If it wasn't meant for everyone, I would've thought this book was written just for me. I can honestly say I got more out of one listen to this book than the 3 months of therapy I've had since I took FMLA leave to deal with my mental health issues. I only wish I would've found it sooner.

9 people found this helpful

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Great

Learned a lot. Definitely will read again. Very well written and easy to follow. Great 👍🏾

8 people found this helpful

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Resonates to my core

I have been relistening to capture more. The content has facilitated a paradigm shift within me after a life of abuse, betrayal and trauma.

16 people found this helpful

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Everyone should listen/read regardless of background

This book was very insightful for many relationships I’ve had throughout life... but most importantly the one with myself. There are all types of problems and issues people are facing and I appreciate how informative it was in that way as well.

2 people found this helpful

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enlightening

enlightening! I learned so much about myself and about the people around me. I am on step closer to ending my betrayal bond.

I was shocked with how much of the book I related to. Especially the fun house reference and setting boundaries.

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

This book was a life changer for me!

Recently I had been reunited with a person in my past that caused me the rush of "in love" feelings when I saw him. This person was very abusive to me and was baffled on how I could have such intense feelings from someone I know to be violent and narssisstic. A family member turned me into this book and I learned the how and the why and what the feelings were really about. I'm going through healing transformation I never thought possible! If you have ever been hurt by a narssist I highly recommend reading this!

1 person found this helpful

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confusing

I stopped at chapter 5. There is no help in these words. Very confusing as to the purpose of this book. It made clear BETRAYAL IS HAPPENING.

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Comprehensive

This is an outstanding addition to my collection on the dynamics and effects of traumatic and dysfunctional bonding with unhealthy partners. It gives cause, effect and remedies for sufferers of toxic relationships and trauma bonding. Great insight into how fantasy bonds occur and why.

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Incredibly helpful to gain a clear perspective on trauma bonding

Trauma bonds are complicated and exhausting, and Dr. Patrick Carnes so very skillfully uncomplicates the subject with case studies, exercises and research.

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Not at all what I had hoped for

I set my expectations too high for this book. It is a bit antiquated, and the narrator is dull. The stories are so dark and disgusting I put it down 1/5 of the way in. F this. So much for that purchase...

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-13-20

Get the paper copy

I think this book is fantastic, however part way in I ended up deciding to buy the paper copy as there are lots of tasks and exercises to do and it was much easier to complete them from an actual book rather than audio.

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  • Sukhdeep
  • 05-18-19

Excellent and Informative

This book completely understands people who are trying to overcome a trauma bond. It provides an informative not judgemental guide. Thoroughly interesting and extremely helpful.

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  • Artful Dodger London
  • 04-27-19

Really helpful.

This is a great book on a really worthwhile subject however much of it is in workbook format and for that reason I have also bought a hard copy...its also difficult to listen to and understand these parts as they are repetitive and annoying in the audio version. Perhaps they could have been condensed or even left out? Highly recommend the book though.