Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare

How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself
Narrated by: Julie McKay
Length: 19 hrs and 10 mins
4.4 out of 5 stars (638 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Although clinical research has been conducted on narcissism as a disorder, less is known about its effects on victims who are in toxic relationships with partners with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Individuals with this disorder engage in chronic devaluation and manipulation of their partners, a psychological and emotional phenomenon known as "narcissistic abuse". Unfortunately, the full extent of what narcissistic abuse entails is not taught in any psychology class or diagnostic manual. Since pathological narcissists are unlikely to seek treatment for their disorder, it is difficult to pinpoint what exactly makes a narcissistic abuser tick and the manipulative tactics they use, which are likely to differ from those of other types of abusers as they are more covert and underhanded. What is even more baffling is the addiction we form with our narcissistic abusers, created by biochemical bonds and trauma bonds that are also unlike any other relationship we experience.

Using the latest scientific research as well as thousands of survivor accounts, this book will explore how the emotional manipulation tactics of narcissistic and antisocial partners affect those around them, particularly with regards to its cumulative socioemotional and psychological effects on the victim. It will also address questions such as: What successful techniques, tools, and healing modalities (both traditional and alternative) are available to survivors who have been ridiculed, manipulated, verbally abused, and subject to psychological warfare? What can survivors do to better engage in self-love and self-care? How can they forge the path to healthier relationships, especially if they've been a victim of narcissistic abuse by multiple people or raised by a narcissist? Most importantly, how can they use their experiences of narcissistic abuse to empower themselves towards personal development? What can their interactions with a narcissistic abuser teach them about themselves, their relationship patterns, and the wounds that still need to be healed in order to move forward into the happy relationships and victorious lives they do deserve?

Cover art by Penoaks Publishing at www.penoaks.com.

©2016 Shahida Arabi (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare

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Excellent book

I am so glad I listened to this book. It answered all of my unanswered questions. I had been in a relationship with a man that I loved deeply. I was constantly walking on egg shells and confused by his behavior before he walked out on me and cut contact with me. It crushed me and broke my heart. I had so many unanswered questions until I listened to "Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare". It has made it absolutely clear to me that I need to have absolutely "NO CONTACT", with this predator ever again. Thank you for writing such a well informed and compassionate book for people that have been through this kind of pain.

49 people found this helpful

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invaluable information

i have been in arelationship for 10 years with my narcissistic wife. i have tried changing so many aspects of how i do things to keep the rage away, but it inevitably continues to get more intense with every fight. i stumbled across an article and purchased the book. i mean wow! couldnt put it down. my mind was starving for this information. thank you to the author. may it change many people's lives!

30 people found this helpful

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This book relieved much of my shame

I was enlightened about the ploys of a narcissist. Having been in 3 relationships whom I would call narcissists, my self esteem was taken to a new low. The thorough explainations in this book put words to my feelings and released much of my guilt and shame that everything was my fault. I feel empowered to begin a new and rewarding life with the help of my counselor.

27 people found this helpful

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Finally

For me this book went where some left off.. what to actually do.. or maybe a better description..what youre thinking you should do.. is correct. Get out, get away. And if you cant now, plan to. Thats where I am, the final planning stages. My parents both narcs and I pretty much married my mothers version of narcissistic behaviors.. my life has been filled with much chaos, zero love and no peace. I am truly alone as I have no other family and my husbands family deemed him the scapegoat Im guessing many years ago. The people I should be able to count on and love me, dont exist. Im ready to go no contact and shut the door on my life in hell. Encouraging words were just what I needed from this, she was right in most therapists dont have a clue in dealing with this sickness and I did experience this ( marital counseling) and it indeed did make things
worse. Never mind what we discussed about him, the fact that i was completely transparent was the worst thing I could have done. I wish i learned sooner, but now I know.

127 people found this helpful

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life changing

This book is forever LIFE CHANGING FOR ME! It was hard to read because of the painful truth attached to it but so necessary. I was at a point of the greatest loss in anyone's life . I knew there was an issue but I didn't realize what it was nor the impact of living with a narcissist. Without this life changing information I doubt I would be so willing to walk away from the poisonous behavior.

44 people found this helpful

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Excellent resource for victims of Narcissistic Personalities

Well researched and drawing upon experience earned through her own and experience this author has filled the gap between descriptions of Narcissistic PD and knowing what the relationships they engage in look like behind closed doors. She also takes away the burden of shame associated with being a victim of a Narcissist. I am a psychiatrist with over 25 years of experience and I learned something from this book and am using it with my patients.

65 people found this helpful

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Tremendous help in understanding & abuse recovery

A must read for those suffering from narcissistic abuse! This book has given me much needed piece of mind in my road to recovery!

11 people found this helpful

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Sorry but I am disappointed in this book.

I think this just is not my format. I like some parts of this book. Beginning of each chapter is good but then it turns into lots of quotes and references and I just get bored and lost and skip to next chapter . I would rather have this book shorter or have all those references in the end chapter. I guess this book is better when read as papet copy, but as an audiobook isn't that good at all. I wouldn't recommend. There are at better audipbook on that topic like "Psychopaths free"

26 people found this helpful

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Annoying Links

The constant spelling out of links from the text to sources and websites for further information was INCREDIBLY annoying and I can't imagine how it could have been helpful to anyone. The length of the audio program must have been extended 5 fold for these annoying and terribly presented pauses to include links to outside content. I could only listen for so long before I had to stop altogether, which is a shame because the book otherwise has some good insights into NPD and how to recover from abuse. If only the creators had given some thought has to how better to present additional content I would have much liked the information given in the text itself.

16 people found this helpful

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Good info but annoying delivery

It's really difficult to listen to because of the narrators vocal frying and/or exaggerated pronunciations. Such great information. Depending on my mood, I just dread hitting play.

38 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 01-29-18

Saved me from my abusive husband!

I was listening to this while with my narcissistic husband and I can honestly say this booked saved me! It helped me understand exactly what was going on and how to protect myself from him and any future predators. Thank you Shahida for this book, you're a superhero

14 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • C. Harvey
  • 04-21-19

Just what I needed.

But no matter what the book says or how well it identifies with your situation its ultimately up to you to look inside you, find your worth, find your power and desire for peace and use it as your shield. Its up to you to decide who, what and when you allow anyone to penetrate that. If you take this book and its teachings seriously, you will truly become a narcissists nightmare. I've started to be short, distant and quite blunt with my boyfriend. Treating him as I've allowed him to treat me. I've turned the tables and now, I hold the cards and guess what..... Now I don't care to be in control. I dont care to have him around. I know if I allow him back the cycle will only continue but its up to me and I'm over it! I'm walking away with my pride and my dignity. This book is worth the read! Buy it!

9 people found this helpful

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  • Samuel
  • 01-10-17

Excellent, most helpful book I have read.

Loved it, most valuable perspective on toxic relationships, toxic people and how to not do it again.

14 people found this helpful

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  • madeleine
  • 05-17-19

The best book you will ever read.

This book is absolutely the best book I have ever read on this subject. It restored my mental health, self esteem and gave me my sanity back. The author completely understands the mental fog, the lack of support from those around you and the full impact of this abuse. She is thorough and is a voice of compassion I desperately needed.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Natalie savage
  • 04-29-17

fantastic book! one of the best in this field!

fantastic book. anyone who has suffered an abusive relationship, any counsellor, a therapist anyone who works with people should read this book.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Tea200
  • 01-15-20

This is necessary

Just all I needed to read - hear to understand how empaths and narcissists can be so deeply linked

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-25-20

open my eyes

This book has opened my eyes to understand why my ex behaves the ways he behaves. It also helps to take proactive steps to protect myself.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Ms Teresa A Jones
  • 06-07-20

awful narrator

Interested in subject but find the narrators voice really hard to listen to. Not ideal.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Amazon Customer
  • 04-04-20

Life changing

Please read this book if are/have suffered abuse or supporting someone suffering abuse. After, reading this I can finally contextualise and verbalise my experience of abuse. also I can now see my abuser for who he really is and the 6 year relationship for what it was. This book had so much information I would never have considered a possibility before, such as trauma bonding and triangulation which helped me realise I wasn't insane and why I reacted now I did. This book has untangled the mental confusion I was in, helped me to forgive myself for not leaving the relationship sooner and has set me on my journey to recovery. I have ultimate respect and gratitude for Shahida Arabi for the knowledge and empowerment she has provided.

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  • Dogwoman
  • 03-20-20

Awful

Repeating the same information in different words in every chapter. Just read chapter one then you’ve read the book. Very disappointed

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  • Liam
  • 03-02-17

Your book is saving my life

I'm so glad I have found this book! It's given me the strength, validation and knowledge I needed to exit my situation and to now move forward. It's quite literally saving my life!... thank you so much-

3 people found this helpful

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  • Sharon
  • 08-26-18

Garbage

Robotic narrative of a repetitive dialogue- total waste of my time and money. Do yourself a favour and avoid!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Rajesh
  • 03-08-18

Wealth of info

Lots of useful info. It says there is a ebook companion with this. Couldn’t find it. I had bought the ebook directly before it was mentioned. No regrets. It’s still worth it. Lots of links referenced in the book. Hence need for the book. Overall. Absolutely worth the purchase

1 person found this helpful

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  • jane black
  • 09-02-20

Get to the point

Far too rambling about own experience and uninformative. Couldn't get past the first 2 chapters. Perhaps there are some gems in there but I don't have the time to find them.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-01-20

Incredibly Insightful

The start was a bit slow but once you get though the authors education and history and get into the real information it is incredible. It confirmed even more about what I have been through and some great ways to help you on your healing journey. I highly recommend reading this book.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 12-07-19

Want to stop the abuse...Then read this book!

Get this awesome book! As it is Jam packed with excllent well documented information! By those in the know, this book is worth every penny and much more! Thank you to the Author... You have given me the answers that I could not find anywhere else! Legend!!!

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  • Constantine Zakkaroff
  • 04-28-18

Valuable Lessons, Yet Profoundly External

I'm a survivor. This book gave me some good insights into the madness of my relationships. However this book totally misses the importance of personal responsibility in dysfunctional dynamics. Narcissism thrives on codependency, which is largely ignored by the author. Reading about codependency helped me understand my part in creating my own nightmare which I was ultimately responsible for.