Out of the Fog

Moving from Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse

De: Dana Morningstar

Narrado por: Dana Morningstar

The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". These three emotions are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling others.

However, this type of destructive manipulation isn't just limited to narcissists and sociopaths. There is no shortage of people with well-intended bad advice out there who unintentionally fall into the FOG as well and push targets of abuse into keeping the relationship going.

The FOG is one of the main reasons that people stay "stuck" in abusive relationships for so long, why they continue to get involved with abusive people, why they feel they are the problem, and why they tend to feel that the abuse is somehow their fault. When a person is being manipulated, they have a hard time figuring out who has the problem, what is normal, what is problematic, and if their wants, needs, and feelings are valid. The disastrous effects of being lost in the FOG are confusion, crazy-making, people-pleasing, and an erosion of boundaries. What makes this well-intended bad advice so damaging is that, on the surface, it seems like good advice - especially if it's coming from people who seem to have our best interests in mind, such as friends, family, church members, support-group members, or a therapist.

Some examples of this well-intended bad advice that comes from other people is: "Who are you to judge?", "No one is perfect", "You need to forgive them", "She's your mother, you need to have a relationship with her...she's not getting any younger you know", and "Commitment is forever".

This audiobook dives into these and other commonly confused topics such as:

• "Who are you to judge" vs. being discerning
• "You need to forgive them" vs. keeping yourself safe
• A parent vs. a predator
• Commitment vs. codependency
• Self-love vs. selfishness
• A person acting the part vs. a person actually changing
• Gut instincts vs. hypervigilance
• A friend vs. someone being friendly
• Caring vs. caretaking

©2017 Dana Morningstar (P)2019 Dana Morningstar

Affected by Abuse?

If you have been affected by narcissistic abuse, this book does an amazing job at helping to understand three of the main ways narcissists use fear, obligation, and guilt.

Awakening

As someone who has dealt with many of these issues from childhood... I am now 32 and struggle still everyday. Although I feel I will have to read this book several times, the first time alone was literally like I was living in unending darkness and confusion and I can now see the light. Out of the Fog could be the only possible name for this book, and I would personally recommend anyone abused or not to read it. There is so much more to people and their behaviors than we realize! I can't say enough about how big of a deal this book is!

Eye opening

This book very much breaks down and explains the experience and emotions a person can feel after getting out of an abusive relationship with a narcissistic personality. The examples are eye opening and help validate those of us wading through the experiences we have had. I highly recommend this book and will listen to it again in the future. The narrators voice is also very soothing and easy to listen to!

Such an eye-opener

I listen at night to audiobooks this one was in my library from three years ago when my husband of 25 years walked out I wish I would’ve listened to this sooner I highly recommend this book to anyone who has any issues with boundaries trust friendships red flag especially if you ever question your own sanity!!! This is great for both men and women!!

The validation I needed for full healing

This book was extremely validating and encouraging. I was in a 24 year toxic relationship with a narcissist and I was blown away by how similar the stories Dana spoke of matched my experience. If you have any questions as to whether you are in a narcissistic abusive relationship, this book will help you get a bigger picture and understanding of what has happened to you and how to move forward towards healing and becoming your best self.