Out of the Fog

Moving from Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse

By: Dana Morningstar

Narrated by: Dana Morningstar

The FOG is an acronym that stands for "Fear, Obligation, and Guilt". These three emotions are often how narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of emotional manipulators go about controlling others.

However, this type of destructive manipulation isn't just limited to narcissists and sociopaths. There is no shortage of people with well-intended bad advice out there who unintentionally fall into the FOG as well and push targets of abuse into keeping the relationship going.

The FOG is one of the main reasons that people stay "stuck" in abusive relationships for so long, why they continue to get involved with abusive people, why they feel they are the problem, and why they tend to feel that the abuse is somehow their fault. When a person is being manipulated, they have a hard time figuring out who has the problem, what is normal, what is problematic, and if their wants, needs, and feelings are valid. The disastrous effects of being lost in the FOG are confusion, crazy-making, people-pleasing, and an erosion of boundaries. What makes this well-intended bad advice so damaging is that, on the surface, it seems like good advice - especially if it's coming from people who seem to have our best interests in mind, such as friends, family, church members, support-group members, or a therapist.

Some examples of this well-intended bad advice that comes from other people is: "Who are you to judge?", "No one is perfect", "You need to forgive them", "She's your mother, you need to have a relationship with her...she's not getting any younger you know", and "Commitment is forever".

This audiobook dives into these and other commonly confused topics such as:

• "Who are you to judge" vs. being discerning
• "You need to forgive them" vs. keeping yourself safe
• A parent vs. a predator
• Commitment vs. codependency
• Self-love vs. selfishness
• A person acting the part vs. a person actually changing
• Gut instincts vs. hypervigilance
• A friend vs. someone being friendly
• Caring vs. caretaking

©2017 Dana Morningstar (P)2019 Dana Morningstar

2nd book of hers I’ve listened to!

I’ve seen a few reviews here stating they didn’t like the book so much because the author shares some of her experiences and struggles.
I’d much rather listen/learn from someone who’s not only intelligent and educated in the subject, but who has ‘been there, done that’. With a difficult, complex and painful subject like narc abuse, I prefer to learn from someone like this who shares REAL LIFE examples and has the educational background, than someone who just spouts off stats and psychological analysis.
Dana Morningstar has several books on this subject. Whatever one you start with, you’re going to get a lot of knowledge and insight that can be applied immediately.
Of course each person will approach and deal with this subject differently. But having an expert who has lived it and healed, that’s the person I want to learn from.

Best read on Narcissistic Abuse to date

I’m a licensed clinician who has also had the misfortune of being in a long-term relationship with a Narcissist. I can tell you that Dana Morningstar’s insights, advice, profound understanding, and deep empathy for fellow survivors’ experience is hands down the best, and most healing, literature available on this topic to-date. She speaks with authority to the individual who has had to endure the soul crushing nature of these types of abusive relationships. I also highly recommend her companion book, A Narcissist’s Playbook. If you suspect you are in a narcissist relationship, reading Morningstar’s books will give you the clarity you need to fully grasp what is, and what isn’t, abusive.

Words aren’t enough.

I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t found this book. I felt crazy, and like I was screaming and no one could hear me.

You gave words to how I felt. Thank you so so much

Thank you thank you thank you ( T_T)＼(^-^ )

He loved me so little, I was forced to love myself , my life.

Super Powerful.

Out of the Fog is my new favorite! There are so many new concepts. thanks Dana