Shame

Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem

By: Joseph Burgo PhD

Narrated by: David deVries

Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins

Publisher's summary

An intimate look at the full spectrum of shame - often masked by addiction, promiscuity, perfectionism, self-loathing, or narcissism - that offers a new, positive route forward

Encounters with embarrassment, guilt, self-consciousness, remorse, etc. are an unavoidable part of everyday life, and they sometimes have lessons to teach us - about our goals and values, about the person we expect ourselves to be. In contrast to the prevailing cultural view of shame as a uniformly toxic influence, Shame is a book that approaches the subject of shame as an entire family of emotions which share a “painful awareness of self.”

Challenging widely-accepted views within the self-esteem movement, Shame argues that self-esteem does NOT thrive in the soil of non-stop praise and encouragement, but rather depends upon setting and meeting goals, living up to the expectations we hold for ourselves, and finally sharing our joy in achievement with the people who matter most to us. Along the way, listening to and learning from our encounters with shame will go further than affirmations and positive self-talk in helping us to build authentic self-esteem.

Richly illustrated with clinical stories from the author’s 35 years in private practice, Shame also describes the myriad ways that unacknowledged shame often hides behind a broad spectrum of mental disorders including social anxiety, narcissism, addiction, and masochism.

©2018 Joseph Burgo, PhD. (P)2018 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved. Published by arrangement with St. Martin's Press.

Insightful look at shame with balanced, well-considered advice

I’m really glad I listened to this. It’s a very insightful look at the many, sometimes subtle ways shame impacts life. It’s approach is very nuanced, encouraging us to understand shame (and related emotions like embarrassment, guilt, etc.) and use it to gain insight about ourselves, while avoiding toxic shame. The book also contains helpful exercises. There are no quick fixes here, but lots of suggestions for slowly developing a healthier relationship with shame over time. I know I’ll be reflecting on what this book says for a long time.

Wowzers!!! Provocative, thought provoking, and insightful

I the book started out typical of a self help/insightful guide. Then came the clients….oy to the vey! I got a little red and was like…what did he just say…lol! I am modest as the day is bright so some of the clients backgrounds and struggles were cringe worthy…Sry clients/No judgement. Overall, I thought the book did an excellent job articulating and defining shame and the different names or emotions we would characterize as. Great Book!

Excellent Read

Very insightful book - gives great real world examples of how shame can affect our real world day to day lives.

Basically a long overview until chapter 10

The book is incredibly (although intentionally) repetitive and doesn’t get into the meat of shame (relatable client stories) until about chapter 10. Once there, it is helpful hearing the stories.

A great take on shame

This book is very good for anyone who wants a very informed and educated perspective. Burgo knows his stuff and this book gives great insight to some of his experiences that are intriguing to listen to. I flew through the audio version and am ordering the hard copy as well.