• Why Do I Do That?

  • Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives
  • By: Joseph Burgo PhD
  • Narrated by: John Raines
  • Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (241 ratings)

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Why Do I Do That?  By  cover art

Why Do I Do That?

By: Joseph Burgo PhD
Narrated by: John Raines
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Publisher's summary

This is a self-help book for people who don't usually buy self-help books. Instead of offering cognitive-behavioral techniques for dealing with anger, or affirming strategies to boost self-esteem, this self-help book adapts the basic methods of psychodynamic psychotherapy to a guided course in self-exploration, highlighting the universal role of defense mechanisms in warding off emotional pain. Even the best self-help books tend to stay on the surface. Why Do I Do That? instead probes deeply into the unconscious. With easy-to-understand explanations, the first part teaches you about the unconscious mind and the role of psychological defenses in excluding difficult feelings from awareness. Individual chapters in the longer middle section explore the primary defense mechanisms one by one, with exercises to help you identify your own defenses at work. The final part offers guidance for how to "disarm" your defenses and cope more effectively with the unconscious feelings behind them. Psychological defense mechanisms are an inevitable and necessary part of the human experience; but when they become too pervasive or deeply entrenched, they may damage our personal relationships, restrict or distort our emotional lives and prevent us from behaving in ways that promote lasting self-esteem. Why Do I Do That? promotes self-help for listeners who want to improve their relationships, manage their emotional lives more effectively and develop authentic self-esteem that will last. If you find that even the best self-help books lack depth and fail to instigate lasting change, this psychodynamic self-help book may be for you.

©2012 Joseph Burgo (P)2016 Joseph Burgo

What listeners say about Why Do I Do That?

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Eye-opening information

I do not usually write reviews, but this book explores our defenses and why we do what we do and how it came to be. I was so excited when learning from this book; it could not wait to share the information with someone else.
I would highly recommend this book to anyone regardless of educational background or the understanding of psychology.
This is not you everyday self help book.
Eye-opening of myself, acquaintances, and those that I choose to surround me.

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14 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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Atheist author

I was loving this book until he said that people use, a a defense, the rational that "there's a reason something happened" and then says "when in truth there's no rhythm or reason to the Universe"! I don't see where he gets off starting something as truth when it's his "BELIEF". Will be warning people before recommending this book to anyone.

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9 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars

Your mental habits matter

Great book that covers the mind games we use on ourselves and others to cope. However these habits can work against us and cause us to repeat the same maladaptive patterns over and over.

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8 people found this helpful

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I'm SO GLAD they finally did an audible for this!

Would you listen to Why Do I Do That? again? Why?

Yes, and you SHOULD! Its thick. There is a lot to learn; as well as, you will find that your own defense mechanism will be on high alert. The first time I read this book, my defenses were so high I couldn't even categorize my primary struggle (need/dependence, difficult emotions or self-esteem/shame). It's such a good book!

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8 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars

46 minutes in ... and stilll the The Intro

On and on about how to read and how to do an exercise. Jesus, gimme someething to stay awake for.

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6 people found this helpful

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So that’s why I do that!

Eye opening! For someone who’s never had formal psychotherapy, I found this book very informative and interesting. I’m definitely going to buy the hard copy for the exercises, review, and highlighting. Thanks, Mr. Burgo!

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Not enough practical ways to deal

I liked the book and the description about defense mechanism, but not enough solutions to dismantle them.

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4 people found this helpful

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Very useful information

A lot of terrific information, some of which many people may already know, but none the less even those of us who "know" it still need to be reminded from time to time. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone looking for insight into their own behavior and also think that everyone (regardless of their interest in growing) should read it.

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Self-Defense Mechanisms: A Primer

Narration: A bit slow. Recommend increasing download to "1.25."

Content: Clear explanations of the different types of defense-mechanisms, their function and typology.


Note: Object Relations Theory clearly explained. Interesting that so simple a concept has so awkward a name. Must be why so many academics have difficult giving a clear, succinct explanation of Object Relations theory.

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3 people found this helpful

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I learned more than I planned to

Of course, I expected to learn a lot about myself, but this book was beyond my expectations! Each section tied in well together. The author was clear that people are not black and white. So, we have to apply wisdom when apply these principles. The narrator did a good job as well.

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2 people found this helpful