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Embracing Shame
- How to Stop Resisting Shame and Turn It into a Powerful Ally
- Narrated by: Carla Emmons
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
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Publisher's summary
Discover a proven pathway for transforming shame from a self-punishing emotion into a powerful ally for your health and happiness.
Why do we feel shame? Given how painful and destructive shame can be, it’s easy to see this emotion as an inner demon that turns our own mind against us. Yet shame is a universal emotion—and it serves an important purpose. “While toxic shame can keep us stuck in a self-defeating vortex,” say Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin, “there is a healthy expression of shame designed to protect us, help us change, and actually build our self-esteem.”
With Embracing Shame, these expert teachers share an invaluable guide to an emotion so volatile that most of us—including therapists—avoid talking about it. Here this husband and wife team, cofounders of the Center for Healing Shame, examine the dynamics of shame, the reasons it arises, why it causes such harm, and how we can heal its negative effects. Through case studies, creative tools, and body-based practices, they invite you to explore:
• The purpose of shame—How it is meant to protect and guide us, and why it gets distorted into a self-sabotaging emotion
• How shame disguises itself by “binding” to other emotions—and methods for disentangling these complex feelings
• The ways shame forms in childhood, evolves as we grow, is impacted by trauma, and takes residence in the body
• Practical guidance for regulating common shame-based challenges—including the inner critic, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, intimacy in relationships, and much more
While no amount of self-talk, personal success, or therapy can eradicate shame, we can transform shame into the supportive, health-promoting force it was meant to be. Created as a go-to resource for laypersons and healing professionals alike, Embracing Shame offers an achievable path for reclaiming the true potential of this vital emotion to help us grow, connect, and find a new confidence in the way we move through life.
Critic reviews
“A few times in a lifetime a book comes along that opens up the dark recesses of our lives and illuminates the mysteries of human behavior, including why people act the way they do and why there is so much emotional suffering in the world. Embracing Shame by Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin is such a book. It is engaging, transformative, and eye opening!”—Ann Weiser Cornell, PhD, CEO of Focusing Resources and author of The Radical Acceptance of Everything
“Heartwarming, empowering, vulnerable, and brilliant. Every so often, a book comes along that will inspire your mind, touch your soul, and remind you that you are not alone. Embracing Shame by Sheila Rubin and Bret Lyon is a groundbreaking book that can help you break free of the chains of shame. Through stories, concrete practices, and research, Sheila and Bret bring us face-to-face with shame’s power to paralyze our lives while also offering a way out through embracing it.”—Albert Wong, PhD, director of the Trauma Certificate Program at Somatopia
“Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin have already transformed the trauma therapy field with their Healing Shame workshops. Now anybody who picks up this book can benefit from their radical healing approach to shame. They have written a gem of a book that anybody can read, understand, relate to, and apply to themselves, to clients, to loved ones. Expect to learn, expect to have ‘aha’ moments, expect to be moved, expect to be transformed.”—Diana Fosha, PhD, developer of AEDP, editor of Undoing Aloneness and the Transformation of Suffering into Flourishing, and author of The Transforming Power of Affect
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Don’t bother
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I turned it off after an hour.
- By Zac on 04-08-17
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
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Started Listening By Accident
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Not well made as audio
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A great reminder to once again listen to our inner voice…
- By Amazon Customer on 01-14-24
By: Susan Cain
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Manifest Now
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Manifest Now provides a step-by-step guide with tools, techniques, and proven strategies to raise your frequency and create the reality you want. This audiobook is designed to guide you through the mental, physical, and spiritual aspects of manifesting and creating all that your heart desires. You'll learn how to start removing mental and emotional blocks so you can rediscover that manifesting is your natural birthright. You'll feel more confident, reconnected, and powerful as you listen.
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This is my first review of 2 years subscribed!
- By Rodrigo on 02-22-19
By: Idil Ahmed
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How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference
- By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, The Great Courses
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Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them. But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.
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Meh. Glad I didn't pay for it.
- By Paula on 07-23-22
By: Allison Friederichs Atkison, and others
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The Art of Extraordinary Confidence
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Confidence is the doorway to success in all areas of life. Whether you want to excel in your career, triple your income, create an amazing relationship, or just feel happy and satisfied with who you are, self-confidence is essential. In this inspiring and liberating book, Dr. Aziz slices through each obstacle on the path towards ever-increasing confidence.
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Finally! This book really is life changing!
- By Brianne on 05-05-17
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How to Be a 3% Man
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My book covers both the dating world and long-term relationships. You will learn how to meet and date the type of women you've always dreamed of. The best part is you can do this while remaining who you truly are inside. The book teaches you how to create sexual attraction in women and get women to chase and pursue you! It takes you step by step with easy-to-follow instructions. You will be able to meet women anytime, anyplace, and anywhere. This will give you choice with women.
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3% MAN
- By Anonymous User on 07-07-17
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How to Release Anxiety
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It’s not just you. Stress levels are at an all-time high—so much so that a recently convened panel of medical experts in the US has recommended that all adults under the age of 65 be screened for anxiety. In How to Release Anxiety, Gabby Bernstein offers simple, actionable steps for feeling better, living with more ease, and showing up for those around us. Gabby’s unusual advice: Rather than manage your anxiety, what if you befriended it? Gabby posits that what we befriend, we can ultimately be at ease with. So she invites us to get curious.
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Not my thing, but one good point
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The Gift of Fear
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These days, no one in America feels immune to violence. But now, in this extraordinary, groundbreaking book, the nation's leading expert on predicting violent behavior unlocks the puzzle of human violence and shows that, like every creature on earth, we have within us the ability to predict the harm others might do us and get out of its way. Contrary to popular myth, human violence almost always has a discernible motive and is preceded by clear warning signs.
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Decent book severely undermined by last chapter.
- By zachary on 11-01-22
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Take Control of Your Life
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Mel Robbins is back! The international bestselling phenomenon and creator of The Five Second Rule and Kick Ass with Mel Robbins returns to help you tackle the single biggest obstacle you face: fear. This life-changing Audible Original features a powerful mix of one-on-one life-coaching sessions and a personal narrative with vital take-aways that you can start using immediately.
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Stop living in fear
- By Nike7 on 02-08-19
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Models
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Models is the first book ever written on seduction as an emotional process rather than a logical one, a process of connecting with women rather than impressing them. It's the most mature and honest guide on how a man can attract women without faking behavior, without lying and without emulating others. A game-changer.
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The content is great but the reader is awful
- By Mark Speener on 06-24-14
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The Confidence Gap
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Russ Harris offers a surprising solution to low self-confidence, shyness, and insecurity: Rather than trying to "get over" our fears, he says, the secret is to form a new and wiser relationship with them. Paradoxically, it's only when we stop struggling against our fearfulness that we begin to find lasting freedom from it.
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The One Book for Overcoming Anxiety
- By Joel Smith on 01-11-16
By: Russ Harris, and others
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I got more out of this one book than a year of therapy
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Encounters with embarrassment, guilt, self-consciousness, remorse, etc. are an unavoidable part of everyday life, and they sometimes have lessons to teach us - about our goals and values, about the person we expect ourselves to be. In contrast to the prevailing cultural view of shame as a uniformly toxic influence, Shame is a book that approaches the subject of shame as an entire family of emotions which share a “painful awareness of self.”
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Basically a long overview until chapter 10
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Healing the Shame That Binds You is the most enduring work of family relationship expert and New York Times best-selling author John Bradshaw. In it, he shows how unhealthy toxic shame, often learned young and maintained into adulthood, is the core component in our compulsions, co-dependencies, addictions and drive to superachieve.
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I didn't cry, you did
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We're all infected with a spiritual disease. Its name is shame. Whether we realize it or not, shame affects every aspect of our personal lives and vocational endeavors. It seeks to destroy our identity in Christ, replacing it with a damaged version of ourselves that results in unhealed pain and brokenness. But God is telling a different story for your life. Psychiatrist Curt Thompson unpacks the soul of shame, revealing its ubiquitous nature and neurobiological roots. He also provides the theological and practical tools necessary to dismantle shame.
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Best book I’ve read in years
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Very important audiobook to anyone who has trauma!
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I got more out of this one book than a year of therapy
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Healing the Shame That Binds You is the most enduring work of family relationship expert and New York Times best-selling author John Bradshaw. In it, he shows how unhealthy toxic shame, often learned young and maintained into adulthood, is the core component in our compulsions, co-dependencies, addictions and drive to superachieve.
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Wonderful information
- By Mary on 12-18-11
By: John Bradshaw
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Uprooting Shame and Guilt: A Journey to Healing Trauma and Freeing the Inner Child
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I hear you. I see you. You matter. Every child yearns to hear these words, as does the child within us all. But what if the essence of self is repressed by childhood conditioning before life hardly begins? Being denied the ability to think and feel for oneself prevents the child from evolving into adulthood unscathed, instead weighed down with fear and anxiety. Uprooting Shame and Guilt unravels the author’s journey in extracting herself from childhood trauma and dogma, finding refuge in the power of the mind and freedom from outdated beliefs.
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Discover how facing your underlying pain will allow you to overcome it and move forward. With practical insights and biblical teaching about what it takes to break the cycle of addiction and shame, Reframe Your Shame will set you on the path to freedom.
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Systemic Shame is the socially engineered self-loathing that says we are solely to blame for our circumstances. It teaches that our consumption is moral and personal choice is our only tool of change. Systemic Shame tells us that poverty is remedied by hard-working people pulling themselves up by their bootstraps, that marginalized people are responsible for their own oppression, and that massive global crises like climate change can be solved by switching to paper straws. When we inevitably blame ourselves for failing to do enough to combat structural injustices, we feel Systemic Shame.
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Polyvagal Practices
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Here, for the first time, is a layperson's explanation of polyvagal theory, an approach to mental health and well-being that has taken the clinical world by storm. A polyvagal approach to life is based on the knowledge that the autonomic nervous system is shaped by early experience and reshaped with ongoing experience. This short book will offer an overview for nonspecialists and provide a series of exercises and meditations (practices) that will allow listeners to tune into their nervous systems, providing calming prompts to build and strengthen ventral vagal connections.
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Must Pay twice for this book if you get the audio
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Important Work!
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Heal trauma. Reclaim your body. Live with wholeness. These are the gifts of utilizing the power of fundamental consciousness-a subtle field of awareness that lies within each of us. In Trauma and the Unbound Body, Dr. Judith Blackstone explores how we can resolve the mental, physical, and emotional struggles of trauma through the power of fundamental consciousness.
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don't buy if you are hoping to use it for practice
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Today, we are caught in a shame spiral—a vortex of mutual shaming that pervades everything from politics to social media. We are shamed for our looks, our culture, our ethnicity, our sexuality, our poverty, our wrongdoings, our politics. But what is the point of all this shaming and countershaming? Does it work? And if so, for whom? In Shame, David Keen explores the function of modern shaming, paying particular attention to how shame is instrumentalized and weaponized.
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The Fullness of the Ground
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The Fullness of the Ground distills Dr. Judith Blackstone’s decades of teaching into the essentials of the nondual spiritual path. Embodied nondual realization can have a profound effect on your senses, your experience of your own authentic existence, and your relationships and ability to love.
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Simple and profound
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Since Stephen Porges first proposed the Polyvagal Theory in 1994, its basic idea-that the level of safety we feel impacts our health and happiness-has radically shifted how researchers and clinicians approach trauma interventions and therapeutic interactions. Yet despite its wide acceptance, most of the writing on the topic has been obscured behind clinical texts and scientific jargon.
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Brilliant material/terrible narrator.
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In the first book on Integral Somatic Psychology™ (ISP), clinical psychologist Dr. Raja Selvam offers a new, complementary approach for building more capacity to tolerate emotions using the body—especially emotions that are difficult or unpleasant.
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A must read if you work with trauma
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By: Raja Selvam
What listeners say about Embracing Shame
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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- JK
- 12-11-23
Amazing Listen!
I'm so excited for this book, not only are Bret & Sheila's methods to help clients deal with their internalized toxic shame revolutionary, but emotional health and healthy shame are one of the foundational pieces to healing. This book will change how you view shame, as we tend to vilify it because it doesn't feel good, but shame as the social construct 'master' emotion helps us to reconnect in our bodies, heal from trauma and understand and attune to our needs on a fundamental level. Transforming toxic, pervasive shame into healthy shame bit by bit, is such a powerful, stunning experience!
Easy to understand and assimilate, well-written and beyond helpful in our journey, Embracing Shame is a must-listen if you are looking to live your fullest, most authentic life!
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- Gary Muszynski
- 12-02-23
Masterful guidance for a difficult topic
I wish i had a book like this 10 years ago! It fills in blanks that really impacted my healing. And the stories make it very human. The reader did a great job - expressive and sensitive.
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- Bay Area
- 10-24-23
Get this audiobook
Very good and not to be missed. Understanding shame is so important. To heal yourself then you must deal with your shame.
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- Laurie A.
- 04-06-24
A Transformational Book
This book gives the listener a pathway out of shame. It is written with Compassion and Heart, and has the power to set its listener free from the binds of shame. The reader captures the emotional tone (Acceptance, Empathy, Compassion) that Sheila and Brett bring to their trainings, which made it a joy to listen to. Personal and clinical stories make it engaging and relatable. Such an important book for anyone living with shame (all of us?) or helping others to work with theirs.
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