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Publisher's Summary

He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship. You will learn about:

  • The early warning signs
  • Ten abusive personality types
  • The role of drugs and alcohol
  • What you can fix, and what you can't
  • How to get out of a relationship safely
©2002 Lundy Bancroft (P)2011 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"This is essential reading for those in the helping professions and highly recommended for all libraries, especially those in communities with emergency shelter programs." (Library Journal)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.7 out of 5.0
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  • Overall
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Excellent

Changed the way I look at my relationship with my husband. I must read by everyone.
Diane Pfandler Bollinger

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excellent read, very thorough

I needed this book. I am in the midst of a DVPO and it gives a lot of insight into the minds of abusers and the abused.

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This came recommended after the end of an awful relationship

This book is something that I will read time and time again to remind myself why not to ever except the abuse of a controlling and angry partner. It made me want to reach out to the offer and offer my thanks but I'll just leave this review instead :-)

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A good wake-up call for those in an abusive relationship!

This book is honest and insightful. If you are reading it, there is a good indication that you are in a bad situation. But if you can't see the light, this book will definitely wake you up.

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Eye opener for those in abusive relations

If you could sum up Why Does He Do That? in three words, what would they be?

The struggle to put your finger on what is wrong with a relation and spinning the wheels for years hoping things will improve will cease when you read and grasp the reality that is staring at you. Emotionally and psychologically abused women cannot identify the abuse because it is so subtle and the woman ends up looking like the crazy one. Must read for all women who are struggling with a cruel and self absorbed spouse. Beware of couples therapy and how it will backfire and make the victim the aggressor.

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Great Content, Bad Delivery

What did you like best about Why Does He Do That?? What did you like least?

The content is great, and very important for all women to know. I think this is a great book to talk with your older teens about. Everyone should know the warning signs, and what to look for. But there are some parts where there is just too much info to follow along without looking physically at the book/words. I found myself needing to go back and re-listen to certain parts in order to properly absorb the information. I also would have liked the narrator to speak with more personality, and emotion. I think this would help keep my attention more.

What didn’t you like about Peter Berkrot’s performance?

His performance came off WAY too textbook. I felt like I was listening to a lecture that was too monotone to keep my attention for very long.

Any additional comments?

In hindsight, I would probably not waste a credit on this. I would rather just find the actual book online, or a pdf version.

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Essential Reading!

This is by far the most informative and helpful non I have read on domestic abuse. I wish I could give a copy to everyone I know!

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Great!

Excellent book! It's nice to see the directness and way in which the author calls the abuser out and doesn't allow room for excuses. Most counselors and books I've read on marriage/relationships don't specifically address how to handle abusive men. Not all men beat their partners, but they can still be abusive. It's refreshing to hear a stance taken that doesn't hold an innocent parter at fault for an abusers actions. Nothing done by a women constitutes a mans right to be abusive. Excellent book. Very empowering.

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  • Casey
  • Indianapolis
  • 04-03-17

Big wake up call, life changing to say the least

Anyone who thinks they might have an anger problem, and is ashamed of how they treat their partner (e.g. would you do that in front if your Mom or your boss?) needs to check this out don't wait 10 years of being an abuser do it now!

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  • v
  • 01-14-17

Great book on this subject

Mušt read if you are or think you may be In an abusive relationship or if you know someone who deals with a verbally or physically abusive man. Eye opening. Pretty thorough book