The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition

De: Patricia Evans

Narrado por: Annette Romano

In this fully expanded and updated third edition of the best-selling classic, you learn why verbal abuse is more widespread than ever, and how you can deal with it. You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.

In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the outside stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse - and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the levels of abuse that characterize this kind of behavior - from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse.

Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse - and the abuser.

This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time!

©2009 Patricia Evans (P)2018 Simon & Schuster

Extremely informative

I was able to relate to the examples given and use the language with my partner as well as show him what he was doing. It is an excellent resource.

Great resource!

A must read for anyone struggling with this confusing topic! Very easy to understand r and helpful resource !

Saved me!

This book was what I needed. I never understood abuse for what it is. This book explained it and gave me the tools that I needed to self protect. “Abusive statements are lies about you told to you. They violate your boundaries. The abuser invades your mind makes up a story about your motives and then tells it to you. Accusing and blaming involves lies about your intentions, attitude, motives. Makes you want to explain yourself. “

“Judgments and criticism are lies about ones qualities and performance. They are blows to self-esteem. Defining you violates your personal boundaries. “

Be prepared to be triggered

Very good and very insightful. I felt seen and validated. I cried and seen many parallels in my relationships. This is the first step in establishing healthy boundaries for myself.

Eye Opening

This book is very informative and very well written. This is a great tool for anyone in or before they are in a relationship.

Caution is needed

The book is very definite and sure as to who is the abusive person, and why they behave like this, And that
they should be given rigid limits.
My wife did use a lot this kind of verbal/ emotional patterns of guilt, anger withdrawal mentioned in the book.
Listening to the book made me be very hard on my limits to this and my right for respect.
This book is very definite about it.
I thought my wife was abusive, and maybe it was somewhat true,
But after couple counseling, I realized that some actual things that were disturbing her, and it was not only to
gain control over me. Also the therapist recommended actually to ignore much of this communication (when I ignore it
it doesn't mean I accept it. I just dont fight all the time). I also need to improve my own behavior.
My point is that if you just want to separate, then no problem. If you read this book, its definite tone, might make you angry and righteous. If you want to give a chance to improve your relationships, you can listen to it. But you might want to have some different points of view also, from other books maybe, or counseling.
You may easily get the wrong impression that your relationship is abusive or there is no repair, when it might not be abusive, and it might be repaired.
All is individual of course, and depends on your own relationship.
Maybe your relationship is abusive and unlikely to be repaired
My relationship did improve a lot, and is improving still, although I was very desperate.
Another point is that even according to this book there is something you do that enables this relationship to happen.
And it might be hard and take time recognise to improve. Just blaming and separating might take you to a similar relationship.

Spot on!!!

I’ve spent years being told I was crazy and I was the problem. This one book has changed my life! I’m so empowered!!

Great Insight

Very eye-opening and relatable. The book makes you think and evaluate/reevaluate life. I feel more aware of my actions and the actions of others.

listen to it again

good book insightful and helpful. read a few times. there is some big ideas that need to be comprehended.

Validating for the partner in a verbally abusive relationship

Patricia Evans articulates and witnesses the truth of damage caused by a verbally abusive partner. I felt validated and empowered reading this. Also, very sad. Definitely recommend.