• Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare

  • How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself
  • By: Shahida Arabi
  • Narrated by: Julie McKay
  • Length: 19 hrs and 10 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Release date: 11-29-16
  • Language: English
  • Publisher: Audible Studios
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (318 ratings)

Regular price: $29.95

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Publisher's Summary

Although clinical research has been conducted on narcissism as a disorder, less is known about its effects on victims who are in toxic relationships with partners with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Individuals with this disorder engage in chronic devaluation and manipulation of their partners, a psychological and emotional phenomenon known as "narcissistic abuse". Unfortunately, the full extent of what narcissistic abuse entails is not taught in any psychology class or diagnostic manual. Since pathological narcissists are unlikely to seek treatment for their disorder, it is difficult to pinpoint what exactly makes a narcissistic abuser tick and the manipulative tactics they use, which are likely to differ from those of other types of abusers as they are more covert and underhanded. What is even more baffling is the addiction we form with our narcissistic abusers, created by biochemical bonds and trauma bonds that are also unlike any other relationship we experience.

Using the latest scientific research as well as thousands of survivor accounts, this book will explore how the emotional manipulation tactics of narcissistic and antisocial partners affect those around them, particularly with regards to its cumulative socioemotional and psychological effects on the victim. It will also address questions such as: What successful techniques, tools, and healing modalities (both traditional and alternative) are available to survivors who have been ridiculed, manipulated, verbally abused, and subject to psychological warfare? What can survivors do to better engage in self-love and self-care? How can they forge the path to healthier relationships, especially if they've been a victim of narcissistic abuse by multiple people or raised by a narcissist? Most importantly, how can they use their experiences of narcissistic abuse to empower themselves towards personal development? What can their interactions with a narcissistic abuser teach them about themselves, their relationship patterns, and the wounds that still need to be healed in order to move forward into the happy relationships and victorious lives they do deserve?

Cover art by Penoaks Publishing at www.penoaks.com.

©2016 Shahida Arabi (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Excellent resource for victims of Narcissistic Personalities

Well researched and drawing upon experience earned through her own and experience this author has filled the gap between descriptions of Narcissistic PD and knowing what the relationships they engage in look like behind closed doors. She also takes away the burden of shame associated with being a victim of a Narcissist. I am a psychiatrist with over 25 years of experience and I learned something from this book and am using it with my patients.

44 of 45 people found this review helpful

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Finally

For me this book went where some left off.. what to actually do.. or maybe a better description..what youre thinking you should do.. is correct. Get out, get away. And if you cant now, plan to. Thats where I am, the final planning stages. My parents both narcs and I pretty much married my mothers version of narcissistic behaviors.. my life has been filled with much chaos, zero love and no peace. I am truly alone as I have no other family and my husbands family deemed him the scapegoat Im guessing many years ago. The people I should be able to count on and love me, dont exist. Im ready to go no contact and shut the door on my life in hell. Encouraging words were just what I needed from this, she was right in most therapists dont have a clue in dealing with this sickness and I did experience this ( marital counseling) and it indeed did make things
worse. Never mind what we discussed about him, the fact that i was completely transparent was the worst thing I could have done. I wish i learned sooner, but now I know.

78 of 81 people found this review helpful

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life changing

This book is forever LIFE CHANGING FOR ME! It was hard to read because of the painful truth attached to it but so necessary. I was at a point of the greatest loss in anyone's life . I knew there was an issue but I didn't realize what it was nor the impact of living with a narcissist. Without this life changing information I doubt I would be so willing to walk away from the poisonous behavior.

17 of 17 people found this review helpful

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Excellent book

I am so glad I listened to this book. It answered all of my unanswered questions. I had been in a relationship with a man that I loved deeply. I was constantly walking on egg shells and confused by his behavior before he walked out on me and cut contact with me. It crushed me and broke my heart. I had so many unanswered questions until I listened to "Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare". It has made it absolutely clear to me that I need to have absolutely "NO CONTACT", with this predator ever again. Thank you for writing such a well informed and compassionate book for people that have been through this kind of pain.

15 of 15 people found this review helpful

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This book relieved much of my shame

I was enlightened about the ploys of a narcissist. Having been in 3 relationships whom I would call narcissists, my self esteem was taken to a new low. The thorough explainations in this book put words to my feelings and released much of my guilt and shame that everything was my fault. I feel empowered to begin a new and rewarding life with the help of my counselor.

12 of 12 people found this review helpful

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Sorry but I am disappointed in this book.

I think this just is not my format.
I like some parts of this book. Beginning of each chapter is good but then it turns into lots of quotes and references and I just get bored and lost and skip to next chapter .
I would rather have this book shorter or have all those references in the end chapter. I guess this book is better when read as papet copy, but as an audiobook isn't that good at all.
I wouldn't recommend.
There are at better audipbook on that topic like "Psychopaths free"

10 of 10 people found this review helpful

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Tremendous help in understanding & abuse recovery

A must read for those suffering from narcissistic abuse! This book has given me much needed piece of mind in my road to recovery!

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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invaluable information

i have been in arelationship for 10 years with my narcissistic wife. i have tried changing so many aspects of how i do things to keep the rage away, but it inevitably continues to get more intense with every fight. i stumbled across an article and purchased the book. i mean wow! couldnt put it down. my mind was starving for this information. thank you to the author. may it change many people's lives!

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

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Good info but annoying delivery

It's really difficult to listen to because of the narrators vocal frying and/or exaggerated pronunciations. Such great information. Depending on my mood, I just dread hitting play.

19 of 22 people found this review helpful

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Recommend 100%.

Would you consider the audio edition of Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare to be better than the print version?

I consider this version equally as useful as the written book, because when recovering from narcissistic abuse, your memory is sometimes compromised with CPTSD or PTSD. I have the written book & the audio version & can look something up in the book if triggered, & then sit back & listen to the audible version of that reference, & find that I absorb it more.

What other book might you compare Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare to and why?

I can't compare it to other books I've read, as it covers every dynamic of narcissistic abuse, some other books are specific to a Mother, Father, Sibling, partner, or friends & colleague abuse situations individually, this book covers all 6 of these dynamics in one.

What does Julie McKay bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

I connected well with Julie McKay as the narrator, she has a voice that I find very easy to listen too, as she has a very calming voice, and I would definitely be more than happy to listen to her narrating other audiobooks.

What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?

The main thing I will remember, is that being abused is never the victims fault, & that all those recovering from narcissistic abuse of any form, must remember to practice self care, on themselves, it is something we very easily forget to do, having never been put first before, we owe it to ourselves.

Any additional comments?

I highly recommend this audio version of this brilliant book, It would also be very good for anyone with mild or severe dyslexia, or any kind of eyesight impediment.

18 of 21 people found this review helpful

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  • Samuel
  • 01-10-17

Excellent, most helpful book I have read.

Loved it, most valuable perspective on toxic relationships, toxic people and how to not do it again.

9 of 9 people found this review helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 01-29-18

Saved my life!

I began reading this book whilst I was living with my narcissist husband. I can honestly say this book saved me from going insane! It gave me a very good understanding of what was going on in his head and since I was reading it while I was still stuck in my situation things literally started to become clearer. I reacted in ways the book suggested and they really did work. At times I felt like it was a little bit repetitive but it will help anyone who is in or has been in a narcissistic relationship.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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  • Natalie savage
  • 04-29-17

fantastic book! one of the best in this field!

fantastic book. anyone who has suffered an abusive relationship, any counsellor, a therapist anyone who works with people should read this book.

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

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  • Liz
  • 08-04-18

Felt like therapy for the author

Whilst clearly well researched, it quickly becomes apparent that a book written by a victim of abuse is going to be biased. That may be understandable but it felt like it descended into quite a judgemental rant in places and I gave up about three hours in.

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  • Liam
  • 03-02-17

Your book is saving my life

I'm so glad I have found this book! It's given me the strength, validation and knowledge I needed to exit my situation and to now move forward. It's quite literally saving my life!... thank you so much-

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Rajesh
  • 03-08-18

Wealth of info

Lots of useful info. It says there is a ebook companion with this. Couldn’t find it. I had bought the ebook directly before it was mentioned. No regrets. It’s still worth it. Lots of links referenced in the book. Hence need for the book. Overall. Absolutely worth the purchase

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 08-26-18

Garbage

Robotic narrative of a repetitive dialogue- total waste of my time and money. Do yourself a favour and avoid!

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  • Constantine Zakkaroff
  • 04-28-18

Valuable Lessons, Yet Profoundly External

I'm a survivor. This book gave me some good insights into the madness of my relationships. However this book totally misses the importance of personal responsibility in dysfunctional dynamics. Narcissism thrives on codependency, which is largely ignored by the author. Reading about codependency helped me understand my part in creating my own nightmare which I was ultimately responsible for.