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Publisher's Summary

Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort - and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams. 

Interactive activities and prompts provide motivation to stay open, stay curious, and, most of all, stay talking to each other. And the range - from the four skills you need for intimate conversation (including Put into Words What You Are Feeling) to tips on being honest about your needs, while also validating your partner’s own emotions - will resonate, whether you’re newly together or a longtime couple looking to fortify your bond. You will discover (or rediscover) your partner like never before - and be able to realize your hopes and dreams for the love you desire and deserve. 

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio. 

©2018 John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams (P)2019 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about Eight Dates

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Decent date ideas

This is apparently the product of some smart, hard-working researchers who have spent an amazing amount of time studying relationships and romantic interactions in minute detail. They swear they can tell which relationships will last and which won't. The scientific formula? It depends on whether you usually speak positively or negatively about your partner. It's not hard to imagine that someone who constantly criticizes their partner is unlikely to have a happy, healthy long relationship with them. That hardly seemed to need the intense scientific scrutiny.

But surely there's more to it, more to the book than that, right?

The book itself consists of eight date ideas, each with a suggested conversation. The date ideas are fine. They'll be fun for some people, but not a good idea for others. Ok, great. That could easily be a short listicle somewhere. As for the conversations, they are each important subjects, to be sure. Do they really benefit from being matched with the date ideas? Have the authors run experiments to determine that these eight dates each lead to more successful relationships, have they run scientifically controlled experiments with different permutations to figure out the exact ingredients that make these eight dates magically work? Maybe I missed it, but I heard no such thing. It sounded rather more like the authors discussed what they felt were the most important topics for relationship partners to discuss, then made up random ideas for dates in which to discuss each of those topics.

It isn't BAD mind you. Anyone who can go on regular, physical dates with their partner and is open to new experiences and getting to know their partner better should definitely consider giving this a try. I just expected more substance and scientific backing. Again, it's listicle material. But it's still not bad, so if you like, go ahead and do it. Just be aware that you'll only truly get value out of this book if you actually have those eight conversations (or possibly, the eight full dates) with a partner, it's not just a book you can read and set aside.

29 people found this helpful

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Robot computer voice!!

I couldn’t even listen to this book because of the robot/computer sounding voice! Very disappointing.

23 people found this helpful

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What the F. Robot-reader???!?!?!

This is complete bs. The reader is a robot?!?! Am super dissappointed. Change it now.

52 people found this helpful

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Worksheets

It would be great to have access to ALL worksheets. By going to the website mentioned in the book/audio you can get some of the pdf’s, but not all.

12 people found this helpful

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Straightforward and informative

What I liked most about this book was the idea the authors put forth that a great love story is a never-ending conversation. This notion runs counter to the prevailing notions in our media — ones that say love is an easy, happily-ever-after tale. In reality, keeping our relationships fresh takes hard work and openness, again and again.

This book helps readers analyze all aspects of their relationships, then ask the right questions in regard to each subject. As the authors state, as long as we are willing to do the work, willing to commit and be forever curious about our partners, we will keep our love alive.

But that love cannot last if we don’t keep the conversation open. This book helps bring that message to light. It’s a quick, straightforward, and to-the-point read. I’d recommend checking it out.

-Brian Sachetta
Author of “Get Out of Your Head”

3 people found this helpful

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What a stupid book full of basic universal express

This is the book equivalent of a fake copy. Someone made a cheap and nasty version of what could barely pass as a book.
Also : The reader is a bot. Seriously?

2 people found this helpful

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Loved it

So insightful. I look forward to going on these dates and asking and answering these questions!

7 people found this helpful

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A must for every couple

If you can get past the droning monotone of the narrators who seem to be hyper focused on over enunciating, you will have found a lifeline. I studied the Gottman’s work in college and was intrigued and wanted to work with them then and now I get to through not just listening and learning but through the activities and purposeful date nights!! With 40 years of relationship research they are true experts in the field. Do yourself a favor and get this title!!

1 person found this helpful

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Great Information

I believe it could our relationship if he had the time to talk. We don't live together so to ask him to do this when he works 7 days a week right with little sleep feels like too much pressure on him. I hope we can implement this information in our relationship if we survive his work schedule the next few months.

1 person found this helpful

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Great advice that I will cherish

When you gi on you tube for dating advice, they tell you that great men dont pay too much attention to their woman and be needy. This book is saying the opposite but encouraging me to work at my relationship and cherish my wife . This is more superior advice and I will take heed. Thank you for this great book

1 person found this helpful

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  • Kieran Hollins
  • 10-12-20

just get the physical book

this hasn't been recorded, the audio is a text to speech generator and it sounds awful. I would advise just getting the book because nobody wants to sit through 5 hours or a robot voice

6 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-28-21

Awful automatic narration

Couldn’t get far into this because of the terrible robotic or automatic narration it really makes it hard to listen to

5 people found this helpful

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  • Angie
  • 07-25-20

Recommended by a YouTube dating coach

Having recently met a guy via online dating I've reassociated myself with dating coaches on YT. I like this chap and want to see where it goes whilst being my best informed self. One of the coaches, Johnathan Aslay, has been recommending this book. I have valued his video content so thought I'd have a read. Glad I did. I'll use this advice. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-23-21

useful relationship advice and guidance

useful relationship advice and guidance

having read a number of previous books by the same authors, I found this fantastic.

genuine practical examples, and down to earth explanations of relationships.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 07-16-21

Interesting and instructive

Easy to read and a lot of material to work on. I haven't done the proposed dates yet but it already has given me a lot to think about. Good read to anyone trying to improve their relationship.

1 person found this helpful

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  • harry
  • 11-21-20

useful insights drowned by grandiose cheesiness

starts our well and intentions of authors are good
lose the plot by the end

1 person found this helpful

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  • Miss Kay Holmes
  • 11-11-21

Food for thought

Lots of excellent ideas for those difficult conversations which are so important in meaningful relationships. I found listening on audio quite difficult to engage with and think a hard copy is probably better to with for this one.
I will be inviting my boyfriend to the 8 dates nonetheless!

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  • oopsadaisy
  • 02-02-20

Can’t cope with the robot reader - horrid

So disappointed, this voice is too distracting and hard to take seriously.
Can not believe it was published like this.

14 people found this helpful

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  • Slav
  • 06-19-20

Must Read for all couples!!

This is one of the best books I have read!

I have highly recommended it to all my friends.

Thank you to the gifted, aware and mindful writers. Blessings!!

2 people found this helpful

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  • antonia
  • 03-08-20

great guide to a loving and successful relationshi

I wish I read this book in my teens so I was aware of the foundations of a relationship and how to build a loving one.
I enjoyed reading about the activities and it helped me work though some of my own inner challenges.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-06-21

great book but the narration is terrible

great book I recommend buying the paperback instead as the narration on this sounds too robotic

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-03-20

loved it!

Very good for any stage of love you are currently in. I'll listen to this one again as there is so much in it.