When Love Is a Lie

Narcissistic Partners & the Pathological Relationship Agenda
Narrated by: Lisa Bunting
Length: 4 hrs and 46 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (465 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

What is the narcissism epidemic?

When our partner is a narcissist, only those who've actually experienced the madness will ever understand what we're going through. When Love Is a Lie is a straight-up, tell-all book about narcissism in relationships that skips the clinical bullshit to focus solely on the personal experience. A narrative that holds nothing back, Zari Ballard's story will educate, enlighten, and empower you to evaluate (and fully understand) the mind-boggling dysfunction in your own relationship. Compare her story to your own and watch what happens. As it has for thousands of abuse victims worldwide, When Love Is a Lie is going to resonate with you in ways that no other book about narcissism ever has.

Any relationship involving a person with a narcissistic personality disorder will inevitably take a dark turn. We stay in the relationship thinking we can fix this person or love him/her out of their bad behavior but the truth is that narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths can never be fixed - not with love, therapy, or any magic pill. Life quickly becomes a roller coaster ride from hell without a harness and with Lucifer himself at the controls. If that sounds dramatic, then you've never loved a narcissist. If that sounds familiar, then this very special book may just change your life.

When Love Is a Lie breaks down the signs of a narcissistic personality and exposes the narcissist's way of thinking.

©2013 Zari Ballard (P)2017 Post Hypnotic Press Inc.

What members say

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Greatfull to have found this!

This book has been beneficial for myself and my children. I have just started NC with my children's father. I have been living a lie for what would be16 years on March 25, 2017. I am desperate to make it this time! I have tried leaving him several times throughout the years! He always weasels back in right when I have climbed out of the pain, bewilderment and financial ruin he left us in. It's amazing how cathartic I felt listening to this book! In no way am I happy other's have and are going through the exact same abuse my children and I have endured but knowing it has been very validating! I am not CRAZY or a SICK BITCH!

48 people found this helpful

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Just ok

Story line was okay. I really didnt learn anything more about N that I didnt already know. Seems more of an experience than anything. There are many more clinical approaches published that helped me in understanding the woes of dealing with N in a marriage. Understand the bitterness of the author, as would anyone truly dealing with N. Bottom line, run as far away as you can, as quickly as you can. 20 years of hope and then finally a realization that N cant change. If you are dealing with N, best to cut the losses asap.

11 people found this helpful

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Good book

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes, I would, especially if it could be useful to her. But I would warn her about swearing.

What did you like best about this story?

I liked it being more of a personal experience book than an attempt of being scientific.

What about Lisa Bunting’s performance did you like?

Her performance was good, she has a clear, pleasant voice and is a competent narrator.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

I like the original title.

Any additional comments?

The author did a pretty good job on research about narcissistic personality disorders and outlined the most important points in a way easy for a layperson to understands. there is plenty of down to Earth advice how to get out of a pathological relationship.

My main complaint is about certain repetitiveness and excessive use of swearing. Otherwise I would have given it 5 stars.

I received this audiobook at no-cost from Audiobookworm Promotions. The gifting of this audiobook did not affect my opinion of it.

11 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

It was like someone wrote about my life!

I am ashamed to say I rode the narcissistic roller coaster far too long. This book provides fantastic information that is helping my road to recovery. I read it over and over! The cursing in the book helps with my own anger. I really want to get to a place where I can put this behind me, and I am working on that. :)

11 people found this helpful

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Excellent

This book is skillfully written and very much validates the odd and uncaring behaviors, actions, and experiences a person has while involved in a relationship with a Cluster B individual. It was both shocking and saddening to understand the truth as I drew the parallels and heard every thought I ever had about my relationship described in this book. Also, the narrater's voice and reading style were perfect and engaging. That was an added bonus.

21 people found this helpful

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A terrific book, I'm going to read it again.

I'm a man, believe me when I tell you women can be a Narcissist, my soon to be ex wife, I call, as I see it, is a spiritual narcissist. Evil person!

5 people found this helpful

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Empowering, enlightening and inspiring.

Zari touches anyone that has suffered at the hands of a narcissist. Brilliantly written and very insightful. Funny as well. A MUST read for anyone looking to escape the torment of a toxic relationship with a narcissist. It gave me the strength to go no contact. Best book on the subject that I've read so far.

8 people found this helpful

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IT HAS A NAME

Wow...thank you for your book. It is the 1st book ( audio book ) I "read" about narcissism. I knew I was dealing with something/someone that was like nothing I could understand. After being separated, through divorce, did I start actually realizing ways he needed to be treated to just have a very strained relationship with my daughter. It has a name, NARCISSISTIC!!!! God, Thank you!!!Whatever this was...IT IS REAL!! I have been in such denial. It is such a hard pill to swallow. Ughhhh, It is so hard to acknowledge this has happened to me. How? I NEVER doubted him..EVER! What helped me the most was learning about the Undeniable Truths. It does hit hard. It does make me so sick to my stomach that I said NO to EVERY example. I needed it explained and to hear about them exactly as you did. Really, I am just able to take in small doses as to what my life became and what I need to do now to survive. So, that's as far as I can go for now.

3 people found this helpful

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deep personal amazing

loved it finished in 1 day strengthening I no I'm not alone going threw this

3 people found this helpful

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Great Book but One Misstep

The author's autobiographical account provides a clear, smart, and fresh narrative of what it's like to be abused by an n over many, many years. Her long-overdue final escape was a bitter-sweet moment in this saga: bitter because it took so long for her to end it and sweet because she had what it takes to walk away from her anti-boy-friend once and for all. The book resonated with me big time, and you will likely feel that way, too. On the background, the audiobook will provide many levels of dysfunctionality for the reader to ponder and learn from. The misstep I refer to in my title is the unbearably long time it took her to see the light. I would have dropped the n after the first or second time he abused me. I stayed with mine, a female n, because of my children to protect them and my family's resources that would one day help get my kids through college. I found a lot of great information online to help me cope. So, my now adult children and I are survivors, and this book has been a terrific addition to my knowledge base going forward.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-08-17

brilliant

excellent it was like listening to my own life with the narc peace and love day 1 of nc xxxx

1 person found this helpful

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  • Chhanda Burmaan
  • 02-29-20

a must read for all people

It is tragic to see the sheer number of otherwise decent people stuck in emotionally abusive relationships. this book is a quick path to figuring out if you are one of them and what you should do to get out.

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  • Dickie of Vauxhall
  • 02-27-20

Felt distorted

and the author seemingly discharged a lot of frustration via swearing. The narrator's intonation is so boring that I frequently had to go back to previous points to re-listen. It sounded - but I can be wrong - as he author acted on various thoughts of hers somewhat all along failing to realise that thoughts were only thoughts and as such could be both true or false. No doubt that silence treatment is debilitating but that does not prevent one from reaching out and check if things are still real. In all honest at least half of the stories felt as they were constructed, confabulated by the author's mind or if not then the words weren't perhaps well chosen. It sounds as if the author , at the time of writing, was yet to be able to be compassionate with her own self that also would have enabled her to remain accountable for her part in that relationship, or at least acknowledge what has happened.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-15-20

Worth the listen 100%

This was the eye opener I needed to help me understand my ex N ... Very informative and I like the way it was written.