Regular price: $17.99

Membership details Membership details
  • A 30-day trial plus your first audiobook, free.
  • 1 credit/month after trial – good for any book, any price.
  • Easy exchanges – swap any book you don’t love.
  • Keep your audiobooks, even if you cancel.
  • After your trial, Audible is just $14.95/month.
OR
In Cart

Publisher's Summary

In this groundbreaking follow-up to her best-selling books The Verbally Abusive Relationship and Controlling People, Patricia Evans goes beyond identifying verbally abusive behaviors to prescribing a course of action for both victim and abuser. Coupling stories of abused women and abusive men from her own case studies, Evans gives you the tools you need to transform your relationship. Most important, she assures you that such a transformation is possible—given the right circumstances. Evans also helps you determine if your abuser really has changed—or if he’s merely creating the illusion of change. And if he hasn’t changed, Evans helps you decide whether it’s time to leave the relationship—and what to do when it is.

Combining practical applications and the latest clinical research with her trademark support and assurance, Evans shows you how to empower yourself, improve your relationship, and change your life for the better.

©2012 Patricia Evans (P)2013 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    52
  • 4 Stars
    20
  • 3 Stars
    2
  • 2 Stars
    2
  • 1 Stars
    3

Performance

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    42
  • 4 Stars
    14
  • 3 Stars
    5
  • 2 Stars
    3
  • 1 Stars
    2

Story

  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    45
  • 4 Stars
    15
  • 3 Stars
    3
  • 2 Stars
    3
  • 1 Stars
    2
Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

I'm so grateful for this book!

If you think you are in an emotionally or verbally abusive relationship you will know after going through this book. I am very clear now and that helps more than I could ever describe. I feel validated.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

A gift to the emotionally violated

Patricia Evans is a brilliant, compassionate author. There is no author I've found who gets down into the deepest trenches of relational dynamics to explain the underlying issues of so many relationships. You could see countless therapists and not even come close to having your confusion, pain, and emotional anguish validated as you would in this book and the others by Evans. The next steps and tools provided in this book are a great addition to the other books that focus more on discovery and gaining knowledge and validation. Evans takes her profound gift in understanding controlling and verbally abusive behaviors one step further and provides guidance to help you figure out if your partner can change. I'm afraid you may never pick up this book because you aren't aware of what verbal abuse really is and how subtle it can be. It may sound like something you've never had to deal with, and you might be thanking God you haven't when you actually have! I challenge you to open your mind and discover how prevalent verbal abuse really is. Perhaps even those of us who rarely indulge in abusive behaviors would rather never indulge but didn't know we were doing so. We have grown so much as a society, but we have a long way to go. Oppression comes in many forms and Evans is leading the path to recovery for all of us.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

must read.

true insight and explained well. thanks. sadly not much hope of change, because they need to recognize the behavior.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Change is key

Not an easy listen if you have been verbally abused but so very informative! The last 4 mins summed up real life.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Life Saving

This is my first time reading The Verbally Abusive Man.
I also just finished “Controlling People” for second time in the last 10 years. First time was recommended by my marriage counselor. I knew without a douby my husband was controlling. But; by the time I was done with that book, I also realized I had controlling behaviors as well. Unexpectedly, it also taught me how I was defining my daughter and controlling her as well. A lot of my terminology in day to day parenting and conversations changed. I stopped telling my daughter things like “you’re not hungry, your body is just tired, and you need to go back to bed and get sleep”.

I changed it to, “I understand. You could very well be hungry. Usually, when we need to eat it’s because we need more calories for energy. You just had dinner 2 hours ago, and it’s time for bed. Sometimes the body confuses being tired with being hungry. When we need to eat our body releases a hormone called ghrelin that makes us think “I’m hungry”. And, when we’re overly tired, or stressed, the same hunger-sparking hormones appear and gives us hunger pangs...” Then, after a couple questions and a glass of water, or maybe even a compromise like a stick of celery, she was off to bed. I didn’t realize the importance of these things until reading this book. Her book isn’t about parenting necessarily. But, rather it outlines a lot of how the result of parental abuse can lead to kids being abusive and controlling adults. In the end, after reading this book, my husband became physically abusive and that led to divorce. I’m now remarried and don’t want to repeat history. After to my new husband (same text book pattern) he beccame verbally abusive. This time, it was a lot easier to see and understand as a result of my past.

This book “The Verbally Abusive Man” gave me tools on how to respond and handle it, and “The Agreement”. My husband and I now live seperatly while working on our marriage, as he continues to go to counseling to resolve his childhood hurts and communication styles. Meanwhile, my daughter and I are healing and recovering from the trauma and attend counseling as work to towards bringing our family back together again. It hasn’t been easy ... but I think it’ll be worth it. THANK YOU PATRICIA EVANS for saving my life. and my spirit.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Needed message

Excellent work. Insightful. A must-read for men struggling with anger. Eye-opening and shocking if you can relate to how this behavior affects the ones you love the most.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Outstanding! A must have!

It simply open my eyes in so many ways, I fit in so many paragraphs of the book, I see my life through this book! It is so carefully tailored to help women in general and I guess for the man that are ready to see the truth could be a wonderful and helpful tool. Simply amazing! Discovering that is not my fault and I can leave is wonderful. It seems that Dr. Patricia Evans care so much about us here in the other end. I spoke to her and she is as warm and kind as her book. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️please go get yours!

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

We knew the answer all along

The author attempts to answer the question each of us have asked ourselves. Perhaps it works for a rare insightful men. We knew all along they are not going to change. I found the audiobook worth listening to, anyway, a welcome change from the usual advice to run to a shelter. Good luck, ladies.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Worst narrater ever!

What didn’t you like about Laural Merlington’s performance?

She sounded like a tape recorder does when it is put on the slow motion function; it was almost painful at times to listen to her.

2 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Viv
  • Texarkana
  • 04-14-14

self help

Would you listen to The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change? again? Why?

YES, BECAUSE YOU CAN ALWAYS LEARN NOW FROM SELF HELP BOOKS WHEN YOU READ THEM AGAIN BECAUSE YOU LIFE AND CIRCUMSTANCES CHANGE.

What about Laural Merlington’s performance did you like?

She is a very good reader enjoyed it.

What did you learn from The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change? that you would use in your daily life?

So many things, I truly think it helped me understand I have to be the one to stomp my foot if I thought is was out of the will of God, you do NOT have to be submissive.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful