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Publisher's Summary

Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel - and certainly our anger is no exception.

"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.

For decades this book has helped millions of listeners learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.

©1985 Harriet G. Lerner (P)1999 Recorded Books, LLC

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Great Material, delivery feels dated

I read this for a class and it was an ideal supplement to my other class texts. The material is good, sometimes the delivery sounds dated. Great read for a man or woman.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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Learn to benefit from power of anger!

Helpful for either gender, and for any relationships. Dr. Lerner explains how we can break the cycle of blaming in a relationship.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Read it now

So much practical advice and examples help learn your part in your relationships and how to change yourself to change the dynamic

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Quick, concise, tactics and a good narrator

I've never left a review before. I'll first talk about the book, without trying to give away anything (read it!), and then the narrator.

BOOK: This book is really awesome. I'm not a fan of reading self help books, I find them preachy, repetitive, and drawn out. This was the exact opposite. The book was written like a good paper: tell them what you're going to tell them, explain it in detail, summarize what you've told them. She goes over what the book will do and what it won't do. Then she goes into it, providing ONE example. Towards the end, she introduces a new concept. Before she delves into the new concept, she summarizes everything you've just learned, gives a different spin on the example, and tells you what chapter to go back to if you need more help. She then reintroduces the new topic and explores that further. It was very clear, and very quick.

NARRATOR: She did an awesome job. SUPERB. I loved listening to her. I actually thought she was the author because she spoke so authoritatively. She didn't try to get fancy and come up with voices/accents for each character the author noticed. In fact, I did not appreciate how wonderful of a job she did until I started listening to the "Why Won't You Apologize" book by the same author, narrated horribly by someone else. Barbara Caruso did such a good job, I'm going to look for other books narrated by her. But for this self-help book, her ability to speak so clearly and authoritatively really just drove home all the points the author made. It was a wonderful combination.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Most helpful self help book ever!

Any additional comments?

I originally read this book 20 years ago, and recently felt the need to revisit it. I downloaded the audio book (long commute) and found it just as helpful. The narrator was excellent, and I love the stories and different examples of how to put the advice into play. I only wish that there were a non gender specific version for reluctant men, because the advice given does bridge the gender gap if one is able to "hear" past the she/her narrative.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Terribly outdated!

What would have made The Dance of Anger better?

An update for the 21st century! Very simplistic attitude about women and anger set in the 1950s ... more appropriate for my grandmother than me. No thanks!

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Amazing

With in the first chapter of this book the author had stated everything that I noticed was going on with my life. Each of the following chapters were well written and extremely researched. I highly recommend this book to anyone struggling with unresolved anger which hinders ones one's ability to communicate properly.

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Insightful

Well done and stands the test of time. Applicability is up to the reader, I guess as always.

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Amazing!

Although I only loved the first 1/2, I recommend that to every person on earth.

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good

i liked it, very helpful examples make easy to relate to and identify explained paterns

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  • Charlie P
  • 10-03-17

A wonderful, insightful book

This is the 3rd time I've returned to this book and each time I find new insights. Harriet Lerner has helped a great many people with this book, the discussion on who is responsible for what, the questions she guides us to ask ourselves and the position of being for ourselves and not against others is just what I have needed time and again in my life.
Harriet helps us to see that as women we're often encouraged to feel responsible for the thoughts, feelings and wellbeing of others but not for our own, she calls this being in a de-selfed position. By owning the responsibility for our own wellbeing, seeing where and how our actions are part of the patterns in which we are entrenched, we can choose new behaviours breaking the cycle of impotent anger and using our anger as a tool for transformation and self empowerment.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Zahra
  • 04-27-17

absolute gem of a book

Dr Lerner's understanding of human relationships is second to none, investing your time in listening to this book means improving your understanding of yourself and others

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • lawrie minty
  • 01-09-17

life makes more sense

well written, really to the point. excellent real life examples. no messing around. much clarity gained

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-09-18

Great book!

As always, Harriet Lerner gives so much excellent practical advice, shares many stories & communicates very clearly. Loved this book!

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 09-08-17

Wish had read it years ago

I have enjoyed this book so much. I learned so much and I wish I had read it years ago. I recommend it to any man or woman who feel stuck in a relationship with their partner, parents, children , or colleagues. I think the discussions apply to both gender, and men can benefit as much as women.

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  • Catherine
  • 04-13-17

Good info narrator not so Much

The information is great but the narrator sounds like a school madam a bit off putting. Maybe I need to work on my anger around that.