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Publisher's Summary

Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel - and certainly our anger is no exception.

"Anger is a signal and one worth listening to," writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change.

For decades this book has helped millions of listeners learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation.

©1985 Harriet G. Lerner (P)1999 Recorded Books, LLC

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Read it now

So much practical advice and examples help learn your part in your relationships and how to change yourself to change the dynamic

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Great Material, delivery feels dated

I read this for a class and it was an ideal supplement to my other class texts. The material is good, sometimes the delivery sounds dated. Great read for a man or woman.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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A Great General Guide

A very good surface book but lacks the depth and intensity that many relationships carry. I wish she had at least clarified if her method worked in all relationships or if it is discouraged in abusive ones. She presents the information as if all relationships are equal.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Terribly outdated!

What would have made The Dance of Anger better?

An update for the 21st century! Very simplistic attitude about women and anger set in the 1950s ... more appropriate for my grandmother than me. No thanks!

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Enlightening and helpful.

Great therapy to discover no one is at fault. Helpful tools are given to recognize your own patterns on the patterns of others.

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Insightful

This book has definitely opened my eyes about family dynamics. A little bit hard to put down. Very interesting.

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Most helpful self help book ever!

Any additional comments?

I originally read this book 20 years ago, and recently felt the need to revisit it. I downloaded the audio book (long commute) and found it just as helpful. The narrator was excellent, and I love the stories and different examples of how to put the advice into play. I only wish that there were a non gender specific version for reluctant men, because the advice given does bridge the gender gap if one is able to "hear" past the she/her narrative.

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Learn to benefit from power of anger!

Helpful for either gender, and for any relationships. Dr. Lerner explains how we can break the cycle of blaming in a relationship.

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On target! A great book and easy to listen to.

Very useful information and easy to listen to. I will listen to this again and again!

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Should be required reading or listening by all women.

This is a book that is so useful to our understanding of roles and family interactions that it should be required reading by all women. I read it years ago. Not everything stuck. Listening to it again was revelatory! Going to suggest it to my women friends to read, as it is a still relevant book.

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  • Charlie P
  • 10-03-17

A wonderful, insightful book

This is the 3rd time I've returned to this book and each time I find new insights. Harriet Lerner has helped a great many people with this book, the discussion on who is responsible for what, the questions she guides us to ask ourselves and the position of being for ourselves and not against others is just what I have needed time and again in my life.
Harriet helps us to see that as women we're often encouraged to feel responsible for the thoughts, feelings and wellbeing of others but not for our own, she calls this being in a de-selfed position. By owning the responsibility for our own wellbeing, seeing where and how our actions are part of the patterns in which we are entrenched, we can choose new behaviours breaking the cycle of impotent anger and using our anger as a tool for transformation and self empowerment.

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  • Zahra
  • 04-27-17

absolute gem of a book

Dr Lerner's understanding of human relationships is second to none, investing your time in listening to this book means improving your understanding of yourself and others

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  • lawrie minty
  • 01-09-17

life makes more sense

well written, really to the point. excellent real life examples. no messing around. much clarity gained

0 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 09-08-17

Wish had read it years ago

I have enjoyed this book so much. I learned so much and I wish I had read it years ago. I recommend it to any man or woman who feel stuck in a relationship with their partner, parents, children , or colleagues. I think the discussions apply to both gender, and men can benefit as much as women.

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  • Catherine
  • 04-13-17

Good info narrator not so Much

The information is great but the narrator sounds like a school madam a bit off putting. Maybe I need to work on my anger around that.

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