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Publisher's Summary

From sexual faking to family secrets, Dr. Harriet Lerner reveals how the struggle toward truth-telling is at the center of our deepest longings for intimacy, authenticity, and self-regard. Drawing on more than two decades of clinical experience, Dr. Lerner articulates her rich philosophy and thoughtful guidelines about speaking out and holding back. With the passion, humor, and clarity that have become her trademark, Lerner unravels the lies, secrets, and silence (our own and others') that affect our lives and teaches us how to widen the path to truth-telling for everyone.

©1993 Harriet Lerner, PhD (P)2004 HarperCollins Publishers

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Gina
  • Ramona
  • 09-01-15

Good Message

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes

Have you listened to any of Harriet Lerner’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

No

What’s the most interesting tidbit you’ve picked up from this book?

Honesty is still the best policy even though people deceive for what they believe are good reasons. .

Any additional comments?

Not the greatest narrator. Book was a little disjointed

1 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
  • Anonymous User
  • 06-25-17

Tedious

I found it difficult to 'see' past the narrators voice which engendered a sense of tedium to this book. I could not bring myself to hear it out in its entirety

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • Catherine
  • 04-24-17

Did I miss something

I have to listen again I feel like it was a bit disjointed and not as much info on the dynamics behind deception as some of her other books

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • Rheannen
  • 07-20-16

Interesting but confusing at times

This audiobook provided some interesting insights into deception, the different names we have for deception as both a destructive and protective tool, and those forms of societal and self-deception women have been taught to internalise via a patriarchal system.

Lerner provided the reading for this book in her usually engaging and approachable manner, and a number of the stories and perspectives she provided were truly interesting.

Where I feel this book falls apart a bit is that I do not get the same sense of a coherent and structure argument as I have received from The Dance of Anger.
Lerner generally seems to leave a lot of the decision making about how to address deception in our personal and public lives to the listener, which is great since I honestly appreciate her non-prescriptive tone. However, I feel that the exposé on how women, via patriarchal instruments, are affected by deception, was a bit lost in some waffle on different understandings of deception. In short, I feel she tried to cover a bit too much, but overall still provided an excellent book.