The Dance of Anger

A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

By: Harriet Lerner Ph.D.

Narrated by: Harriet Lerner

Length: 3 hrs and 2 mins

Publisher's summary

While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless.

In this vivid, engaging and eminently wise work, Dr. Lerner teaches women to identify the true sources of anger and to use anger as a powerful vehicle for creating meaningful and lasting change. The challenge of anger is at the heart of our struggle with intimacy, self-esteem, and joy. The Dance of Anger has inspired more "You changed my life" stories from both women and men than perhaps any other best seller on the American scene today.

©1985 Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. (P)1997, 2004 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Critic reviews

"An inspirational message for all women....Like a family heirloom, it can be passed from generation to generation, as it is based on profound and lasting truths." (Peggy Papp, M.S.W., The Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy)

The Dance of Anger

This is probably a must-read (or must-listen) for every woman. As with all things in psychology, it is the study of the obvious, except that human beings don't see the obvious when it is right in front of our noses. I found it remarkably helpful, and will listen to it again.

The book has different stories used as examples, and moves quickly. It is read by the author, who has a somewhat flat voice, but one could easily imagine sitting listening to her, a real person, giving a talk on this, and she often interjects comments which sound as if they are not in the script.

After I heard this, I felt buoyant, because she so clearly described feelings that I have struggled with, and gave straightforward suggestions for dealing with those feelings. She is not talking about mental illness here, but about the way women in our society do not deal with anger in a way that helps us to better negotiate our lives. I thought her ideas and presentation were terrific.

A classic and powerful self-help

There are well articulated themes in this book. The only unfortunate part is the narration.

Refreshing Perspective on Anger!

What made the experience of listening to The Dance of Anger the most enjoyable?

She gave many helpful examples of what do do in anger-provoking situations. Overall super super helpful book!

Any additional comments?

If only more people knew there is a constructive, rational, and mature way to handle this great emotion.

Mixed Feelings

I loved the contents of this book but the audio sounded like it was slowed down (maybe to lengthen playing time?). I set the listening speed to 1.25 which helped. It's pretty pricey based on listening hours - especially if you speed it up.
I tried to find n unabridged audio copy elsewhere but was unable to.
I would love to see an updated version of the book, read in its entirety.
I felt like the information I gained was a huge paradigm shift in my understanding of anger. Can't wait to get a copy of the book!

Not the whole book

What did you like best about The Dance of Anger? What did you like least?

It is helpful, but does not cover the entire book. Her voice is ok, and she speaks slow enough, but once again, it does not cover the entire book

If you’ve listened to books by Harriet Lerner before, how does this one compare?

n/a

How did the narrator detract from the book?

.

Do you think The Dance of Anger needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?

a complete book

Any additional comments?

no

Great book

Easy to follow and very helpful in learning the different behaviors. Would recommend to every woman

Very insightful and practical. Will be putting these insights to use. Recommend reading.

Very insightful and practical. Will be putting these insights to use. Recommended for all ready to make a positive shift away from negative patterns created over time.

must read

easy book to listen to I remained engaged and wanted to listen to mpre. so many great parts that spoke to me I would recommend to any woman.

Great book on developing the Self within relations

Great book on developing the Self within relationship. Also read her book on Intimacy. Good exercises to assist with change.

Very helpful audiobook

This book was recommended to me by my counselor and fortunately I found it on audible.com! My counselor said that she thought it was very psychologically sound and that kind of thing. As far as I know (I'm no psychologist however), that's right.

The narrator (author) has a slight accent and her voice isn't exactly lively or full of enthusiasm, but it's certainly not boring once you listen to it for a while. I didn't fall asleep or start tuning out the narrator when I was listening.

I found this book really interesting and helpful. It gave me a lot of insight on how to deal with anger and with people that I have conflicts with. It talks about relationships between couples a lot but I'm not married and I still found the advice helpful for dealing with family members, roommates (in college), and other people I know.

For me, it was a book I had to take in small doses. I couldn't listen to it in consecutive days when I went running as I do with other audiobooks (primarily novels) because I needed time to digest things that I heard. Psychology isn't as easy for me to take in large doses as it is for me to take in novels and stories.

Another thing is that I am a really visual learner and for a book like this, I would probably find it more helpful to read it in book form so I could highlight certain parts and go back to it when I need to later on. I don't usually listen to really information packed stuff and remember it all that well. But I'm still glad I bought the audiobook because it was a good way to get through the book quickly even though I can't remember all the advice I got from it. I got to listen to it all and maybe later I'll buy the book and then go back an reread it slowly, underlining stuff and processing it and applying it slowly. But who knows, maybe if I listen to it a couple times I'll be able to get it as ingrained into my system as I would by physically reading it.