The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Revised and Updated

By: John M. Gottman PhD, Nan Silver

Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer

Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins

Publisher's Summary

Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.          

This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved.          

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

©1999, 2015 John Mordechai Gottman, PhD, and Nan Silver (P)2020 Tantor

The Bible of Relationship books

I’ve read a lot of relationship books, but this one was by far my favorite. While it is not one of the most entertaining I’ve ever read, it is hands down the most useful. This book is literally THE handbook for a successful marriage and John Gottman’s advice is GOLD. The book really forces you to take a good, hard look at your relationship, it’s strengths and weaknesses, and focus on improving the areas that need improvement. Although, I will admit, it was not always a comfortable feeling reading and rating my relationship at times, it was extremely helpful and in turn made me realize my relationship’s strengths as well. I believe it has set my husband and I, two very new newlyweds,up for solid, long term success .

eyes opened to see what sinks and steers romance

I have been married 12 years and have had a good relationship until I was told by my wife she didn't love me anymore. I have done the activities through this book and have heard what my wife longed for. I didn't know what questions to ask to get to the root at our disconnection. Thank you to John Gottman

Buy hard copy

So many lists! Ugh. Have pen and paper ready to take lotttsssss of list notes.

Topics hard to hear but set me in the right direction

When I first started the book I was hopeful but I realized I was the cause of much of my marital trouble. This was very hard to hear, I knew it was true but the affirmation is hard. It did set me in the right direction to change. Something I had never been able to do on my own. Many other books try to convey this but this one worked for me and I am grateful.

not a good audiobook

This is not a good buy for an audiobook. There are lots of lists and questionnaires. I find it hard to follow along as he reads off 40 questions for you and your spouse to ask each other and discuss. I recommend buying the book or kindle version. Otherwise, lots of good information. Beware: stereotypes like women are emotional and men are stonewallers are rampant but I imagine he's seen this first hand in his studies. Good news is he tries to release some of them by encouraging men to take advice from their wives and wives to....well i haven't gotten that far yet.
Happy reading!

Evidence Based, Practical Principles

listening to this audio book has given me great hope for my marriage, fostered a new appreciation for my wife, and given me skills that extend to all of my relationships and interactions. This book should be required reading/listening for all married couples.

good read for good marriages

This should be required reading for all couples before getting married. A great step forward in understanding why relationships can be so hard and how to make them work.

Amazing Resource

This was an amazing book. The examples and case studies really help me look at my own relationship in a clearer light.
My only critique is to put all the exercises into a PDF and leave them out of the read audiobook.

This explains sooooo much!

I wouldn't consider my marriage on the brick of breaking but we also have so struggles. I think the most helpful take away from this book for me was that it is OKAY to have these struggles and that even rewarding marriages have them. Personally the scientific backing for this book and the years of research that when into developing specific techniques will make me much more likely to pick them into practice and I don't think they are limited to only marriage relationships. Powerful stuff!

Must read for everyone

If you are in or planning to be in a relationship. These principles should lead you. My humble opinion is that all modern relationship should be based on these principles.

very helpful

this book covers all areas of marriage. I hope I can apply it in my life. very grateful for the amount of work put into this book.