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Mating in Captivity Audiobook

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic

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Publisher's Summary

Esther Perel takes on tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?

In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.

While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.

©2006 Esther Perel; (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers

What the Critics Say

"As revelatory as it is straightforward....Perel sanctions fantasy and play and offers the estranged modern couple a unique richness of experience." (Publishers Weekly)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.5 (1461 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Advika 05-07-13
    Advika 05-07-13

    Magdalen

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    "Deep reflections on sexuality and intimacy"
    Any additional comments?

    Thoroughly enjoyed this book. It brought to light a lot of things I hadn't really thought about maybe ever, or didn't know about, or didn't really understand, and some things I had only partial knowledge of. Its enlightening to listen to someone who has so much vast knowledge about sexuality, coupling, intimacy and pleasure. I've listened to maybe 50 books on relationships in the last few years, and I want to give this one 7 stars.

    8 of 8 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Grant NANTUCKET, MA, United States 03-10-13
    Grant NANTUCKET, MA, United States 03-10-13 Member Since 2009

    caffeinated

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    "Intimacy is in the eye of the beholder."

    The best thing about this book by Ester Perel is that you get real insight into how different people in relationships see their partners and their roles. You get to hear how they approach sex and intimacy and love and how the three things are almost never the same to any two people. This book is a little short on solutions. (I guess that, as a therapist, Perel believes the solution, ultimately, is therapy. Although she does not say as much.) But, overall, this piece is an engrossing and worthwhile glimpse into the minds and lives of people who find that love and lust aren't always in synch. As a narrator, Perel's strong but infinitely listenable Belgian accent and tone are, simply, pitch perfect.

    16 of 17 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Todd White Sydney, Nova Scotia Canada 04-17-12
    Todd White Sydney, Nova Scotia Canada 04-17-12 Member Since 2017
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    "A Thinker's Book..."
    Would you listen to Mating in Captivity again? Why?

    Absolutely. Though clearly articulated, the book contains sufficient nuance that listening to it again is needed to pick up on all the gems of the book.


    What about Esther Perel’s performance did you like?

    Clear articulation, good tone.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    A number of "A-Ha!" moments throughout the book.


    Any additional comments?

    Anyone seeking a "silver bullet" for erotic revitalization of their relationships will be disappointed with this book - rather this book is designed for people who are willing to carefully analyse their relationships, and consider the nuances of the case studies presented in the book to unlock the hidden gems.

    The concepts in this book are counter-intuitive to most people's views of how to address erotic issues in their relationships which makes the listener question and ponder their own misconceptions of what makes us tick erotically.

    I listened to this book on a long road trip with my partner and it lent itself to being paused and discussed on a chapter by chapter basis - making for an entertaining and insightful roadtrip with discussions of our own relationship and the relationships of those around us.

    This is worth the listen - so much so, that we purchased several paper copies to give to our friends.



    16 of 18 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Allie 05-22-11
    Allie 05-22-11
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    "Highly Recommended!"

    I enjoyed the author's reading. She does have an accent but it doesn't get in the way of the message. Instead, I found her voice sexy and appropriate to the book's subject matter. Her re-enactments of sessions with clients were very expressive and entertaining.

    The book itself was excellent. While not a how-to guide, through examples and explanations the author relates how she believes eroticism and sexual tension can be maintained in a committed relationship. She approaches the subject from many different angles and some repetition (which I saw as a learning aid as opposed to a lack of material).

    This book really opened my eyes and raised my erotic-intelligence quotient! I have a much better understanding of what sex means to my partner and what I can do to keep eroticism alive between us.

    10 of 11 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Fritzie 08-11-16
    Fritzie 08-11-16
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    "great advice for all "

    loved this book. I've listened to many of her Ted talks and that's why I got this book.
    it's great advice for all couples and single people who want to be in a long healthy sexual relationship with their partner.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Charles Bennett Neas 05-01-17 Member Since 2015
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    "Enlightening"

    There is something in here for everyone who has ever been in an intimate relationship

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Allen C Christian 08-31-16 Member Since 2008
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    "Truly Amazing a must read for all relationships"

    Amazing. So true, and yet an eye-opener.
    Each time I listened to it I picked up on something new because I had grown since the previous time. Truly the most helpful book that revived my relationship.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Thomas J Lecarno 04-29-17 Member Since 2016
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Sexual Enlightenment"
    If you could sum up Mating in Captivity in three words, what would they be?

    Enlightening, Ah ha, eureka!


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Mating in Captivity?

    Being able to relate to the examples in the text and learning valuable lessons from it.


    Have you listened to any of Esther Perel’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

    This was my first one but It wont be my last!


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Realizing how powerful social norms are within our sex lives


    Any additional comments?

    Even if you think you have a great sex life, you can still learn a lot from this book.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Nicole 04-09-17
    Nicole 04-09-17 Member Since 2016
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    "Entertaining and educational"

    I will be buying this book, too, as it is a great reference guide full of excellent quotes and salient points to come back to. Esther's accent can be a little challenging at times but overall a very good read.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Bryan Anderson Ely, MN 03-29-17
    Bryan Anderson Ely, MN 03-29-17 Member Since 2017
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    "One of the best books I have ever experienced!"

    Easy to listen to, loaded with fantastic information and case studies, while outright solutions are not offered per say, as an intelligent person, I feel that workable solutions can be derived from the tales within. Thank you!

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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