Not 'Just Friends'

Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity

By: Shirley P. Glass Ph.D., Jean Coppock Staeheli

Narrated by: Laural Merlington

Length: 15 hrs and 10 mins

Publisher's Summary

Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.

©2004 Shirley Glass, Jean Coppock Staeheli (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

Critic Reviews

“ Not ‘Just Friends’ puts a new face on infidelity. The author, using clinical experience and current research, broadens its definition, causes, and means of resolution. I recommend it for anyone considering an affair, in an affair, or recovering from an affair.” (Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples)

“A must-read for anyone who ever hopes to be happy in a long-term relationship.” (Pat Love, Ed.D., author of The Truth About Love and Hot Monogamy)

WORST to Read/Listen to if you are well past D Day

What would have made Not 'Just Friends' better?

Sordid details of the cheater's EXACT experiences made me sick. Thumbs down, does not help someone trying to move on from those images in a now healthier marriage. Made my days more difficult.

Would you ever listen to anything by Shirley P. Glass and Jean Coppock Staeheli again?

No

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Extremely unhelpful to the person who is 18 months or more past D Day. Truly do not want to hear the turmoil & details from the cheater's point of view. THIS DID NOT HELP ME! It simply created more questions in my head when I'm trying to move on with a changed person I HATED THIS BOOK!

Ever heard 'Just Friends' or I love you BUT...

If you could sum up Not 'Just Friends' in three words, what would they be?

This book is for anyone who has ever heard 'we are just friends' or I love you but i'm not in love with you or been involved in an affair (the betrayed, the affair partner OR lover) or even if you are trying to 'affair proof' your marriage... this book hits all angles and is very well written.

I highly recommend it.

What other book might you compare Not 'Just Friends' to and why?

What makes love last or Hold me tight - because all three are a must have for all marriages.

What does Laural Merlington bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Very well read, it is a pleasure to listen too.

What insight do you think you’ll apply from Not 'Just Friends'?

Understanding affairs from many angles in an insightful way.

Any additional comments?

If your life has been touched by an affair, even if it is past and long gone... read this book.

This book has changed my life. Amazing!

Where does Not 'Just Friends' rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

By far, the best self-help book that I've ever bought.

What did you like best about this story?

The book has changed my whole perspective on infedelity. I really CAN conquer infedelity and recuperate from it.

What about Laural Merlington’s performance did you like?

I wish I had even a 1/3 of her vocabulary! She's a walking dictionary which makes listening, much more attention-grabbing.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

The whole book reached to the depths of my soul and gently pulled me up. I no longer feel guilt, blame, shame or defective. It's not me.

Any additional comments?

This book is for the cheater and the cheated. It's for before, during and after infedelity. A MUST read for anyone entering a relationship of any kind.

Must read

Infidelity is a reality and happens more than you think. Read it if you’re in a relationship or going to be

Content is good but reader/voice is cold and robotic

People recovering from infidelity need comfort, wisdom, counseling and warmth. Lots of good info here but the audio is so impersonal and offputting that I couldn't get past the first 20 mins. Very unfortunate.

Incredibly beneficial!

This allowed us to get the immediate help we needed while waiting on or in between counseling sessions. I highly recommend it.

Affair Recovery Manual and More

Any additional comments?

This book is really comprehensive on this topic. It gives examples as well as suggestions regarding how to understand how certain kinds of affairs happen. It also talks about recovery from affairs and what helps and hinders. If you are looking for support on this journey, this book will do the trick. The only drawback, has probably to do with the difficulty of the subject matter, not the skill of the author or reader. It's a big book and a long audiobook, it's easy to get worn out listening without taking breaks. Potentially, the author could have condensed some material, but again, maybe not.

read and listened

read 50 articles online...read 10 books about infadelity , tapes...this was the best bar none

A must read book if you are dealing with an infidelity

A excellent book about infidelity. It cove
rs everything. I have read several self help books on the subject,and this book clearly is the best. When it telling about recovery and healing and possibly making a marriage work. Almost impossible unless the other spouse is willing to read the book also. This way you’re both are on the same page, and know what is expected of each other to recover. Which in my case has not, so trying to recover a marriage on a one way street is effortless. I have read the book and then bought the Audible and listened to it. I highly recommend this book if you are trying to recover together, or if you just end up recovering alone. I give this book 5 stars. I don’t know if this is an allowed but I also recommend another book called Surviving Infidelity by Rona B. Subotnik, L.M.F.T., and Gloria G. Harris, Ph.D.

good listen

Some very good points made in this book. My only issue with this book was its length. I believe the same stories and points they were making could be made without all the extra details that don't really make any difference to the overall lesson. Still worth it and something I will listen to again.