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Publisher's Summary

Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.

©2004 Shirley Glass, Jean Coppock Staeheli (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

Critic Reviews

Not ‘Just Friends’ puts a new face on infidelity. The author, using clinical experience and current research, broadens its definition, causes, and means of resolution. I recommend it for anyone considering an affair, in an affair, or recovering from an affair.” (Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples)
“A must-read for anyone who ever hopes to be happy in a long-term relationship.” (Pat Love, Ed.D., author of The Truth About Love and Hot Monogamy)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

This book has changed my life. Amazing!

Where does Not 'Just Friends' rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

By far, the best self-help book that I've ever bought.

What did you like best about this story?

The book has changed my whole perspective on infedelity. I really CAN conquer infedelity and recuperate from it.

What about Laural Merlington’s performance did you like?

I wish I had even a 1/3 of her vocabulary! She's a walking dictionary which makes listening, much more attention-grabbing.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

The whole book reached to the depths of my soul and gently pulled me up. I no longer feel guilt, blame, shame or defective. It's not me.

Any additional comments?

This book is for the cheater and the cheated. It's for before, during and after infedelity. A MUST read for anyone entering a relationship of any kind.

6 of 7 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Ever heard 'Just Friends' or I love you BUT...

If you could sum up Not 'Just Friends' in three words, what would they be?

This book is for anyone who has ever heard 'we are just friends' or I love you but i'm not in love with you or been involved in an affair (the betrayed, the affair partner OR lover) or even if you are trying to 'affair proof' your marriage... this book hits all angles and is very well written.

I highly recommend it.

What other book might you compare Not 'Just Friends' to and why?

What makes love last or Hold me tight - because all three are a must have for all marriages.

What does Laural Merlington bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Very well read, it is a pleasure to listen too.

What insight do you think you’ll apply from Not 'Just Friends'?

Understanding affairs from many angles in an insightful way.

Any additional comments?

If your life has been touched by an affair, even if it is past and long gone... read this book.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Affair Recovery Manual and More

Any additional comments?

This book is really comprehensive on this topic. It gives examples as well as suggestions regarding how to understand how certain kinds of affairs happen. It also talks about recovery from affairs and what helps and hinders. If you are looking for support on this journey, this book will do the trick. The only drawback, has probably to do with the difficulty of the subject matter, not the skill of the author or reader. It's a big book and a long audiobook, it's easy to get worn out listening without taking breaks. Potentially, the author could have condensed some material, but again, maybe not.

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Incredibly beneficial!

This allowed us to get the immediate help we needed while waiting on or in between counseling sessions. I highly recommend it.

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Good book to listen to with your partner.

My partner and I listened to this book after wounds started to heal from his sex addiction. It was reassuring to know that we had already done many of the suggested ideas to recover together. We got further value out of this book by listening at a time where we could pause and ask each other questions. We felt it sparked great closure conversations and dug just a little deeper than we had already dug.
The only reason I rated it a 4 instead of a 5 is because of the religious undertones. If you take those as just suggestions or with a grain of salt, it's fine. Its very difficult to find material like this that does not reference religion.

4 of 6 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

read and listened

read 50 articles online...read 10 books about infadelity , tapes...this was the best bar none

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Unbelievably helpful.

If you are dealing with unfaithfulness in your relationship, read this. Puts things in perspective and helps turn anger into compassion. If you are unfaithful, been betrayed or are the affair partner, read this book. People need to reconstruct boundaries in society. Coed work environments are basically coin flips on whether Infidelity would occur. Since more women work in male dominated fields, the concern of falling into a situation with a work friend is real. Create boundaries in your work. Don't let opposite sex work associates be part of your home life and vice versa. Its a recipe for disaster. Innocent work relationships can slowly become toxic.

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    1 out of 5 stars
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meh

this book wasn't for me. the circumstances were different. will probably help others in need

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    5 out of 5 stars

A great book

this was great and helping I would recommend it to other people going through a rough time

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars

Content is good but reader/voice is cold and robotic

People recovering from infidelity need comfort, wisdom, counseling and warmth. Lots of good info here but the audio is so impersonal and offputting that I couldn't get past the first 20 mins. Very unfortunate.