Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

By: John Gray

Narrated by: John Gray

Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins

Publisher's summary

The Phenomenal Number One New York Times Best Seller

In his classic guide to understanding the opposite sex, Dr. John Gray provides a practical and proven way for men and women to improve their communication and relationships by acknowledging the differences between them.

Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: They forgot they were from different planets.  

Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this timeless book has helped men and women realize how different they can be in their communication styles, their emotional needs, and their modes of behavior, and offers the secrets of communicating without conflicts, allowing couples to give intimacy every chance to grow. 

©1998 John Gray (P)1998 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., All Rights Reserved, Harper Audio, A Division of HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

"A valuable, much-needed book. A contribution to the understanding of the communication styles of men and women." (Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want)

May I suggest...

This is an excellent book, in spite of how cliche the title has become. But I STRONGLY recommend the abridged version.

I am usually 100% anti-abridgement, I hate them hate them hate them. I owned the abridgement of this book on cassette before I purchased the unabridged version. It was abridged by and is read by the author - so you can be certain it still has everything in it that he felt was essential. The unabridged version is very repetitive, which is fine when you are reading but may put you to sleep if you are listening!

I cried.

I'm 52 and in my second marriage (25yrs this time) and I've never been able to express my feelings. I'm like a caveman. This book helped me realize that I needed to learn how to express myself without yelling and making everything an argument. My wife is 90% right in how she handles the marriage because she read the book years ago. I was stubborn and a man who knew everything...a perfectionist. When I finally realized I was on my way to either a non-fully-committed marriage or another divorce. She doesn't know that I've read it but is noticing that things are changing. I can't put into words how much happier I am being able to understand and express my feelings. It's not an easy thing to get used to at all. But the author explains this in the book and I'm not as afraid to do so now. I hope that it isn't too late to make amends and show her who I really am and to do my best to make the next 25yrs be what she wants, deserves and needs. She is the best wife a man could ask for. Would love to go to a weekend seminar to continue to learn more. I will be reading all of his books now because I don't want to forget how to properly treat my wife ever again.

Thank you, John Gray....thank you.

A Very Helpful Guide to The Opposite sex

A GREAT TOOL!!! to becoming a great partner............ This Book will save you from many many unneeded missunderstandings in a relationship. it brings much self improfment by bringing a better understanding of how and why men and women differ. ................. The ONLY negatives are 1) the voice reading is unpleasant at times and 2) few times, it may seem repetative-due to much topic clearification. yet this is really nothing compared to all the benifets it brings........All in ALL, a must read..

Truly Comforting

I don't normally take the time to write reviews, but this book is AMAZING. I downloaded it at a time in my life where my relationship just seemed like it was falling to pieces, but both my fiance and I have been listening to it together, and we BOTH come back to each other time and again to share just how right John Gray is! It is wonderful not only to understand the opposite sex, but also to help you understand yourself and how you can express yourself to your partner. Most of all, it is so comforting to know that you aren't alone! You recognize yourself in almost every word. Repetitive? Maybe. But almost everything John Gray says is WELL worth repeating until you've got it right. I don't know what we would do without this book. It is not a fix-all if you've got serious problems, but it is a wonderful beginning to giving each other the chance that you both deserve.

Terrible outdated material.

I could barely finish this book because of how bad, inaccurate, and one-sided it's psychology was. As a psychologist one should take into consideration a female perspective. which is something that this man does not do.

Men stick together

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

I think the voice was monotone. It did not have the energy I expected in a motivational/inspirational book.

What was most disappointing about John Gray’s story?

It appeared that the story was for women to better understand men and it almost made me believe that women have to be the patient one and accept the "way men are"..Very seldom did he mention mutual efforts.

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

It was informative and it did make me think back to mistakes I may have made along my path. Many of the things he talked about, I saw in my mother and of course, sometimes we adopt things we see our parents do.

Take this as a coaching workbook

This is a great book for coaching on communication for men and women wanting to achieve success in their intimate relationships with one another. While it is definitely dated, as some if the other readers have pointed out, and the cadence gets a little dry at times, what you can get out of this book far outweighs that. One caveat is: one needs to have an open mind and heart and be ready to receive the information. Through different phases of growth, I would definitely have received this information differently.
Here are a few things worth highlighting:
- offers great insights on how men and women's thought processes differ
- helps identify areas where you may be misunderstanding your partner and making them wrong
- for women: helps you find more effective ways to be assertive in your relationship and communicate what you want, while making your partner feel more appreciated and engaged with giving you what you need
- for men: helps you provide the displays of caring your partner needs to feel good, while getting get the space you need in the relationship and not feeling misunderstood for wanting that
- communication techniques can be applied in communicating with children, coworkers or anyone of the opposite gender
- if you remember that the ultimate goal is to achieve harmony, love, acceptance and understanding of one another, then you will move beyond the datedness or hokey case studies and pull out the real gems here.

Wish I knew about this book earlier

Recently divorced after 2 years of seperation. I wish my X-wife and myself read this book 2 years ago. The reasons for most of our problems, which I could not explain before are very clear now. I would have handled many situations differently only if had this knowledge then. I am confident the knowledge gained through this book will be very useful in my future relationships with the people from Venus

Poor Quality

Poor Quality of the audio book. Did not follow the book verbatim. I downloaded the unabridged version and wanted to follow along reading the unabridged book as well; in order to follow the tone of Dr. Gray's Men are from Mars. Some parts were omitted in the audio recording that were listed in the book. The audio otherwise conveyed the point in capturing the tone and message of the book, however it was overall difficult to follow along.

NOT HELPFUL!!

This book seems to make women think that they should cater to their husband!! It also seems to point out that women should watch what they say and how they say it to avoid upsetting their husbands but by talking to them as if they were BABIES!! COULDN'T FINISH LISTENING TO THIS...JUST AWFUL

Useful, but repetive

This book is one of the popular 'must reads', and definitely has some useful concepts. However, by now this book is slightly outdated, and overly generalised. It is also unnecessarily repetive, with numerous examples and endless stories... It really could be summarised in half an hour... Men are solution focused and goal oriented, women focus on emotions and relationships... Men deal with stress by withdrawing into their caves, women by talking about their problems... Men need to learn how to patiently listen to emotional expressions without giving advice, women need learn how to accept men without trying to improve them, or complain about their behaviour. Read the summary of the book instead, and save yourself some time... If you're looking for more practical relationship help, look up John Gottman's books.

some great advice, but not so relevant today

maybe relevant a few years ago but much of the advice wouldn't transfer to today. The book makes sweeping generalisations and gender stereotypes without accounting (as it promises to) for the idiosyncrasies or role reversals that are likely to be present in people today; anyone who takes the full advice as a literal manual is likely to feel like there's something wrong with them if their behaviour doesn't adhere to how the author tells them they are likely to be.
that being said there's some useful stuff in here which gave me food for thought.

Great book. This has opened my eyes.

This book has taught both my wife and I a lot about ourselves and each other. We have implemented so many strategies. I recommend a bit of this book at a time to implement it all.

We will probably read this again at some point.

A must listen

I loved this audio. it's now giving me a new start and a fresh mind towards a more loving marriage
and also to learn so much about how different we are to each other 😊

this should be taught in school!

I am lost for words, if I had know about this 15 years ago when I first met my wife it really would have saved a whole lot of issues! They really should tech the to young people, this is a must listen for both sexes!

Great to gain perspective on the opposite sex

This literally taught me so much! Now one of my favourite books of all time!

Everyone should read this book!

I read it in my late 20’s and just listened to it on audible in my early 40’s. I had forgotten so much! I have made so many mistakes and will listen to the book every year I think. Everyone should read it. I wish I had read it earlier and more often.

Lifechanging!!!!! a must read!!!!!

This book not just thought me how to better communicate with my partner but also made me understand more my own behaviours, moods and unexplicable resons of our arguments. I did not have to wait too long to test the methods described here... they not only work but also perform miracles! I feel like life will be much better from now on and my relationship will thrive... I even feel like I understand my dog a way better than before :D

Great Liaten

So much I didn't know that I can use and apply . if communicating better in a relationship is something that you want to achieve this book will definitely help with that.

old school and biased

Wasn't relatable. very biased.
arguably either sex are emotional and talkative based on what responsibilities they cover in the family.

was looking for some maturity in advice and observation. some of the author's opinions are too generalized.

I am glad it worked for so many people though.