Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex
By: John Gray
Narrated by: John Gray
Series: Mars and Venus
Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
4.4 out of 5 stars (3,056 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

The Phenomenal Number One New York Times Best Seller

In his classic guide to understanding the opposite sex, Dr. John Gray provides a practical and proven way for men and women to improve their communication and relationships by acknowledging the differences between them.

Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: They forgot they were from different planets.  

Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this timeless book has helped men and women realize how different they can be in their communication styles, their emotional needs, and their modes of behavior, and offers the secrets of communicating without conflicts, allowing couples to give intimacy every chance to grow. 

©1998 John Gray (P)1998 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., All Rights Reserved, Harper Audio, A Division of HarperCollins Publishers

Critic Reviews

"A valuable, much-needed book. A contribution to the understanding of the communication styles of men and women." (Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want)

What listeners say about Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

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    5 out of 5 stars

I cried.

I'm 52 and in my second marriage (25yrs this time) and I've never been able to express my feelings. I'm like a caveman. This book helped me realize that I needed to learn how to express myself without yelling and making everything an argument. My wife is 90% right in how she handles the marriage because she read the book years ago. I was stubborn and a man who knew everything...a perfectionist. When I finally realized I was on my way to either a non-fully-committed marriage or another divorce. She doesn't know that I've read it but is noticing that things are changing. I can't put into words how much happier I am being able to understand and express my feelings. It's not an easy thing to get used to at all. But the author explains this in the book and I'm not as afraid to do so now. I hope that it isn't too late to make amends and show her who I really am and to do my best to make the next 25yrs be what she wants, deserves and needs. She is the best wife a man could ask for. Would love to go to a weekend seminar to continue to learn more. I will be reading all of his books now because I don't want to forget how to properly treat my wife ever again. Thank you, John Gray....thank you.

31 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

May I suggest...

This is an excellent book, in spite of how cliche the title has become. But I STRONGLY recommend the abridged version.

I am usually 100% anti-abridgement, I hate them hate them hate them. I owned the abridgement of this book on cassette before I purchased the unabridged version. It was abridged by and is read by the author - so you can be certain it still has everything in it that he felt was essential. The unabridged version is very repetitive, which is fine when you are reading but may put you to sleep if you are listening!

72 people found this helpful

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Take this as a coaching workbook

This is a great book for coaching on communication for men and women wanting to achieve success in their intimate relationships with one another. While it is definitely dated, as some if the other readers have pointed out, and the cadence gets a little dry at times, what you can get out of this book far outweighs that. One caveat is: one needs to have an open mind and heart and be ready to receive the information. Through different phases of growth, I would definitely have received this information differently. Here are a few things worth highlighting: - offers great insights on how men and women's thought processes differ - helps identify areas where you may be misunderstanding your partner and making them wrong - for women: helps you find more effective ways to be assertive in your relationship and communicate what you want, while making your partner feel more appreciated and engaged with giving you what you need - for men: helps you provide the displays of caring your partner needs to feel good, while getting get the space you need in the relationship and not feeling misunderstood for wanting that - communication techniques can be applied in communicating with children, coworkers or anyone of the opposite gender - if you remember that the ultimate goal is to achieve harmony, love, acceptance and understanding of one another, then you will move beyond the datedness or hokey case studies and pull out the real gems here.

7 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars

A Very Helpful Guide to The Opposite sex

A GREAT TOOL!!! to becoming a great partner............ This Book will save you from many many unneeded missunderstandings in a relationship. it brings much self improfment by bringing a better understanding of how and why men and women differ. ................. The ONLY negatives are 1) the voice reading is unpleasant at times and 2) few times, it may seem repetative-due to much topic clearification. yet this is really nothing compared to all the benifets it brings........All in ALL, a must read..

19 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars

Truly Comforting

I don't normally take the time to write reviews, but this book is AMAZING. I downloaded it at a time in my life where my relationship just seemed like it was falling to pieces, but both my fiance and I have been listening to it together, and we BOTH come back to each other time and again to share just how right John Gray is! It is wonderful not only to understand the opposite sex, but also to help you understand yourself and how you can express yourself to your partner. Most of all, it is so comforting to know that you aren't alone! You recognize yourself in almost every word. Repetitive? Maybe. But almost everything John Gray says is WELL worth repeating until you've got it right. I don't know what we would do without this book. It is not a fix-all if you've got serious problems, but it is a wonderful beginning to giving each other the chance that you both deserve.

16 people found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars

Poor Quality

Poor Quality of the audio book. Did not follow the book verbatim. I downloaded the unabridged version and wanted to follow along reading the unabridged book as well; in order to follow the tone of Dr. Gray's Men are from Mars. Some parts were omitted in the audio recording that were listed in the book. The audio otherwise conveyed the point in capturing the tone and message of the book, however it was overall difficult to follow along.

10 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars

loved the hard-copy and loved the audio book

almost everyone has heard of this title unless you live in a cave on an island without any access to society and the opposite sex ... listened to it 3 times (on different flights) - makes me laugh even now just thinking about it ...

5 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars

Wish I knew about this book earlier

Recently divorced after 2 years of seperation. I wish my X-wife and myself read this book 2 years ago. The reasons for most of our problems, which I could not explain before are very clear now. I would have handled many situations differently only if had this knowledge then. I am confident the knowledge gained through this book will be very useful in my future relationships with the people from Venus

12 people found this helpful

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Terrible outdated material.

I could barely finish this book because of how bad, inaccurate, and one-sided it's psychology was. As a psychologist one should take into consideration a female perspective. which is something that this man does not do.

13 people found this helpful

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Men stick together

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

I think the voice was monotone. It did not have the energy I expected in a motivational/inspirational book.

What was most disappointing about John Gray’s story?

It appeared that the story was for women to better understand men and it almost made me believe that women have to be the patient one and accept the "way men are"..Very seldom did he mention mutual efforts.

You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

It was informative and it did make me think back to mistakes I may have made along my path. Many of the things he talked about, I saw in my mother and of course, sometimes we adopt things we see our parents do.

13 people found this helpful

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  • Mr Benjamin I Long
  • 10-17-18

some great advice, but not so relevant today

maybe relevant a few years ago but much of the advice wouldn't transfer to today. The book makes sweeping generalisations and gender stereotypes without accounting (as it promises to) for the idiosyncrasies or role reversals that are likely to be present in people today; anyone who takes the full advice as a literal manual is likely to feel like there's something wrong with them if their behaviour doesn't adhere to how the author tells them they are likely to be. that being said there's some useful stuff in here which gave me food for thought.

6 people found this helpful

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  • eve
  • 02-16-20

Useful, but repetive

This book is one of the popular 'must reads', and definitely has some useful concepts. However, by now this book is slightly outdated, and overly generalised. It is also unnecessarily repetive, with numerous examples and endless stories... It really could be summarised in half an hour... Men are solution focused and goal oriented, women focus on emotions and relationships... Men deal with stress by withdrawing into their caves, women by talking about their problems... Men need to learn how to patiently listen to emotional expressions without giving advice, women need learn how to accept men without trying to improve them, or complain about their behaviour. Read the summary of the book instead, and save yourself some time... If you're looking for more practical relationship help, look up John Gottman's books.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Del
  • 11-02-19

Everyone should read this book!

I read it in my late 20’s and just listened to it on audible in my early 40’s. I had forgotten so much! I have made so many mistakes and will listen to the book every year I think. Everyone should read it. I wish I had read it earlier and more often.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Timothy Mark Forber
  • 08-30-19

Great book. This has opened my eyes.

This book has taught both my wife and I a lot about ourselves and each other. We have implemented so many strategies. I recommend a bit of this book at a time to implement it all. We will probably read this again at some point.

2 people found this helpful

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  • faye
  • 06-10-19

A must listen

I loved this audio. it's now giving me a new start and a fresh mind towards a more loving marriage and also to learn so much about how different we are to each other 😊

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-07-19

this should be taught in school!

I am lost for words, if I had know about this 15 years ago when I first met my wife it really would have saved a whole lot of issues! They really should tech the to young people, this is a must listen for both sexes!

2 people found this helpful

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  • Jerzy
  • 10-08-19

Opened my eyes

This book is a great asset to everyone who really wants to work on their relationships and ultimately be happy. Read it several times and there was always something new I learnt each time. Great book. Thank you!

1 person found this helpful

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  • MR A I LEWANDOWSKI
  • 03-23-19

super

I find it super helpful this book for having a good relation(ship) with the other sex . partner or just friends, parents, sisters, brothers- lots of knowledge is applicable. I really recommend to listen!!!! (Sometimes he repeats things over and over again, but I believe he does it a purpose- so recommend not to give up on It! stick with It- so it gets deeper the knowledge!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-20-19

Great book

Amazing book verry insightful. The Messenger Of Allah said, The best of you is who is best to his wife. This will help you in your marriage life.

1 person found this helpful

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  • gaz
  • 12-23-18

A must read for everyone!

Easy to follow life and him her realtionship guide. Many hints a tips on successful communication when you are happy or struggling in a relationship.

1 person found this helpful

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  • S. C. Jewell
  • 04-18-20

Not even if you’re in lock down

I have over 400 books in my Audible library. I’ve read all of them, bar one - this one. I started and persevered, but eventually I decided that 3 hours was enough of my life to waste. The concept is that men and women are different. Go figure. The supposed essential differences are then reiterated, again and again - and again and again. Childish concepts, childish analogies and juvenile presentation. Presumably I wouldn’t have learnt anything new in the remaining 6 hours, so I didn’t bother. How did this book become a best seller and sell over 15 million copies? God knows. If you think 15 million people can’t be wrong, then think again. The best thing about the book? Turning it off and moving onto something else.

2 people found this helpful

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  • andy g
  • 03-24-19

life changing

This book should be compulsory reading for people at school. Amazing is all I can say

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 08-22-20

A must read

Changed my relationship. Easy to follow, at times repetitive, but you want that in an audiobook as it in grains aspects in your head.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 07-13-20

Best book

If you read to the end you get some really helpful tips. I will live by this. Very comforting

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  • Salman
  • 07-11-20

Insightful

extremely insightful narrative with pertinent examples. Certainly helps is understanding more about relationships and our own behavior

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  • Hayley D.
  • 05-28-20

Awesome book

Definitely worth the listen! I am going to buy the hard copy book so I can go back to certain chapters. I am definitely going to be a better & more understanding partner. A lot of things also has helped me understand why men act the way they do which has decreased my anxiety about certain things. Cannot recommend highly enough!!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 04-07-20

review of men are from mars

The book has some good concepts but the audio is way too repetitive. I am certainly struggling to finish it. The audio book didn't have to be more than 3.5 to 4 hours max

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  • Cassandra Lee
  • 03-28-20

Not catered for gay couples and sexist

struggled to finish this, not catered for gay couples, also suggesting lots of initiatives or actions from the guy to please their gals, didnt work for me

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  • NavMan
  • 12-20-19

Very Informative!

This book is a must if you are/or going to be in a relationship. The author goes in details on how to deal with arguments, build trust and steps to deal with past trauma. Highly recommend :)

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 11-29-19

Highly recommended for any long term relationship

This easy to read book brings breakthrough and hope to struggling marriages. The author beautifully explains the inbuilt differences between men and women, then gives understanding to how to use that to strengthen your love for each other.