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Publisher's Summary

When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different? In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples.

Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them.

Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom; argues for playfulness, distance and uncertainty; and shows what it takes to bring lust home.

Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist's essential bedtime listen.

©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic Reviews

" Mating in Captivity...articulates a poignant and unacknowledged modern crisis for the first time." ( The Evening Standard)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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A treasure for understanding relationships!

This book is a wonderful treasure to understand and live relationships in the modern world

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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Esther Perel is a trailblazer

Mating in captivity helped me reimagine many ideas about my relationship. It is both liberating and comforting to know that there are more ways to feel, think and express our love and desire. It’s eloquently written and perfectly presented.
Life changing!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Loved it!

Educational, mindopening, comprehensive and smart with real life experiences and a very pleasant and warm voice. Search for Esther Perel's podcasts as well.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Every human needs to hear this book!

Probably the most insightful and fascinating book on the struggles of maintaining a happy, healthy, and passionate relationship in today's world. I'm telling everyone to listen because it really helps to put current/past/future relationships into perspective no matter where you are in your life. Listening to Esther's articulate explainations were highlighted by her beautiful accent, too. I cannot wait to learn more from her and I wish to meet her in person. Remarkable woman. Kol hakavod! Bravo!

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Very captivating. Eager to listen to it again

For the first time I am understanding how desire needs distance.
For me, this is an amazing resource to learn about desire.

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illuminating, clear, bold,

An inspired and counterintuitive insight in present day's seemingly unsolvable contradictions on sex, love and relations

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A mind changer!

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I would recommend this book to anyone wanting to, or brave enough to start looking at relationships in a different way.This book will serve the interest of anyone feeling oddly empty in certain parts of their relationship and wanting to fill those gaps with answers which will surprise even the most liberal thinkers among us.

It is a refreshing take on age old arguments and honestly left me with opinions about love, relationships and sex, which were very different to when I started reading this book.I will forever be thankful for the enlightenment and look forward to carrying these lessons with me into the future.

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  • Phoebus Weebus
  • 05-30-18

Warning: this book might change your life.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book as it was thought provoking and full of knowledge gained Esther's years of experience, listening to and helping couples. I found this book very challenging and advise listening with your partner rather than trying to relay the information - you might have a lot you might want to talk about! A great book.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • J. ELARIO
  • 12-04-17

some great food for thought (and practice)

how refreshing to hear a narration by a human rather than the go-to male "broadcasting" voices of many authors. It took a bit to get used to it, but once you pass that hurdle the book becomes a lot more personal and you appreciate the author's mission more. She relates many situations she's had to overcome with her therapy clients and I think it's safe to say that there should be something in this book that every couple can relate to and learn from
higly recommended.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Robertas
  • 09-10-18

Mind opening

The book helped me realize that certain things i though were adsing to the experience of love i did extre.ely wrong ajd just smuttered sex and made it boring for myself and my partner

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  • Rebecca Farnworth
  • 07-25-18

brought new understanding to the physical book

I love Esther’s voice, and her rhythm of reading brings a new perspective on the book to how you might read it. It’s thoroughly interesting and objective.

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  • Selah
  • 11-17-17

I enjoyed every bit of this realistic therapist.

It was an open-minded with practical information on all kinds of relationship. I already advised it to 2 people before I finished.

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  • David
  • 11-07-17

very interesting

a wealth of useful ideas and helpful concepts. a must for anyone navigating the mine fields of human relationships! 😊👍

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  • Carolyn Singer
  • 11-04-17

Captivating

Firstly I'm not American and this brilliant author is not either. This book essentially delves into relationships and examines what happens and why it happens (to lust and desire). I found intriguing, interesting and so very refreshing.

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  • Duncan
  • 03-19-18

a mature perspective on love

simple: read (listen) to this book. the earlier in life, the better. you won't regret it

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Karina
  • 03-13-18

smart and on point

so 2018 and on point. i love hearing the relative interviews. grounbreaking. very well written

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Stacey Bout
  • 03-04-18

Essential for all couples

Esther is a gem in the relationship field! This book should be read by anyone who wants to understand themselves, relationships, infidelity and more in order to have a more fulfilling relationship.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • RUBY LANGTON-BATTY
  • 09-09-18

A must-read for lovers

Perel’s insights into the romantic, sexual and domestic life of monogamous couples are beyond valuable. This book gave me a new outlook on my relationship and myself.

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  • Matt Struthers
  • 08-14-18

Engaging, Intelligent and on target

Esther provides a very honest and open look at relationship erotic perspectives and opened my eyes to new ways of seeing my own marriage, and myself with that marriage.

I recommend this book for any couple, no matter their sexual orientation, and no matter what point of their relationship they are at.

Thank you Esther.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-24-18

Excellent book. Highly recommended.

Esther covers a dense and delicate topic in a digestible manner. She provides an unbiased

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 05-22-18

fabulous

Loved it other than the recommendation to flirt with other than your husband. Dangerous territory.