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Publisher's Summary

The trauma and grief of growing up in an alcoholic or addicted family create a lifetime of baggage. If you grew up in an addicted family, the dysfunction that permeated every aspect of your childhood may have seemed "normal", and you may not even realize the level of affect alcohol still has on your adult life - whether or not you drink.

If you are one of the millions of Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs), the cost of your childhood pain can be unbearable. You may have learned how to "survive", but are you "living" your life? Do you fear normal conflict? Do you blame yourself when something goes wrong - even when it isn't your fault? Are you a chaos junkie? Or do you just fear relationships because they are too difficult or too painful?

Having devoted much of their careers to working with ACOAs, therapists Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell now take a deeper look into the origin and cost of childhood pain, as well as the grief resolution process that is integral to recovery. This revised and expanded edition of their groundbreaking 1986 hit After the Tears discusses the latest research and offers insights on living a good life despite a dysfunctional childhood by tackling issues such as intimacy, sibling relationships, codependency, breaking the alcoholic pattern, building a relationship with the inner child, forgiveness, and opening a window to spirituality.

©1986, 2010 Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell (P)2013 Audible, Inc.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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A cornerstone

Excellent analysis! This is a must read for adult children of alcoholics. The information provided definitely helped me in my grieving process.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Very Helpful

This book is like going to fortune teller. It tells you the very personal details of your own life. It's amazing how much we ACOAs have in common.

This book was incredible in helping me to work through my depression, helping me to let go of all of my childhood secrets and know that I can own them and own my story. And tell it to help others.

I Highly recommend this book if you have an alcoholic in your life. <3

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Great book!

Thorough, understandable, easy to listen to. She discusses the trauma, how it affects survivors, and how to move forward in good detail with helpful examples. This book could be helpful for anyone new to recovery from trauma or someone who's already been on a journey for awhile.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Great book!

It helped me identify, understand, and develop personal goals to resolve struggles of ACOA.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Disjointed in audible format but good

Disjointed in audible format but good. The narration lacked any distinction when paragraphs or a tabular format was discussed. Still overall it was enlightening

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Excellent Book

thank you for writing this book it helped me to understand this disease more. I started to go to some meeting Alcoa meetings in the Boston area. Moved to Tennessee and can't find any. I really know this program is thee program for better recovery. Thanks to AA Alton and Codependency I celebrated 36 years of recovery.

Thanks again for this book
Hazel Chapman

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Pain and Longing

I am 63 years old and just beginning to take steps toward admitting I need healing. For me this book touched on many areas that I could realistically relate to. while it includes material which does not apply to me it touches on many realistic events of life that are experienced by children with an alcoholic parent.

  • Overall

childhood challenges

I loved listening to this book. Self-Discovery is a gift within! Looking forward to purchasing the book.❤

  • Overall

Very Helpful

This helped me a lot. It was like a book about my life, very accurate.

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Not Good at all for me.

Any additional comments?

I wanted to love the book and find it healing and yet I found it anything but that. The word "HEALING" even appears in the title and I found almost no evidence of that what-so-ever.<br/>The entire book it seems is dedicated to IDENTIFYING the children of alcoholics and we already KNEW THAT to start with when we bought the book.<br/> This is simply a giant collection of what children go through that had the misfortune of growing up with that type of parent and some stories of therapy about drawing pictures of your childhood and making a bracelet and so forth that I find worthless for myself.<br/>The speaker is totally void of any emotions in her narration and it becomes boring listening to her with her clinical approach to everything, but even that I could endure if some real precepts of healing would have been discovered.<br/>I wasted my money on this one and it's just another self-help dead end.

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  • chris
  • 11-13-14

One of the best books I've read on the topic

Where does After the Tears rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

I've been fof some 6 years in the recovery now and this book still came to me as a "revelation" in many aspects. Thank you for this book.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • m
  • 12-13-16

Thoroughly compelling and life-changing

At first I wasn't sure what to expect. Then I was consumed and finally gripped by this comprehensive and insightful discourse on surviving alcoholism.