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Publisher's Summary

Writing from firsthand experience, Allison Bottke identifies the lies that kept her, and ultimately her son, in bondage - and how she overcame them. Additional real-life stories from other parents appear throughout the audio.

A tough-love guide to coping with dysfunctional adult children, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will empower families by offering hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y. - a six-step program to help parents regain control in their homes and in their lives.

S = STOP enabling, STOP blaming yourself, and STOP the flow of money A = Assemble a support group N = Nip excuses in the bud I = Implement rules/boundaries T = Trust your instincts Y = Yield everything to God

©2008 Allison Gappa Bottke (P)2016 Tantor

Critic Reviews

" Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children is packed full of practical, useable, workable ideas and is a welcome tool for parents of grown children, and parents in pain." (Pam Farrel, author of Men Are Like Waffles)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Story

Absolutely Liberating!

This book is a must-have for parents of prodigal sons and daughters. As a parent of two sons who are in different types of prison, I daily release my sons to God. God is helping me to understand that He does not need my help, and when I do intervene, I do more harm than good. This book is just confirmation that I am on the right path in stopping my enabling behavior.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Way too Religious, thinking about returning it.

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

I am having a hard time getting through this book. I think it could be very helpful but I didn't realize how religious it is. I can only "give it to God" so many times. I need concrete steps and so far I haven't gotten any. I don't need scripture read and quoted to me. I think this should be sold as a Christian book and there needs to be some kind of warning.

What was most disappointing about Allison Bottke’s story?

Way too Religious

What about Margaret Strom’s performance did you like?

She's fine. I have no issue with her reading

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Frustration!

Any additional comments?

If you are not religious and are just looking for concrete help don't bother with this book. I am looking for something else.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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A book that truly helps!

If you have an adult child that is out of control, you must read this book! Thank you, Allison, for writing this for all us "enabling parents"!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

CHRISTIAN book full of Bible verses

I returned this book. While it says early on that this book is written for people of all faith's, I found that to very much NOT be the case. I was looking for insight, problem solving suggestions, and practical advise. I didn't find it here. I tried to keep an open mind, but eventually got to the point where I couldn't take the preachy tone and Bible verses any longer. I found this to be very grating and counterproductive. Not a book for an Agnostic, this is for someone who believes in turning their problems over to God, and who finds comfort ( if not practical advise) in Bible verse. If this is you, you may find it helpful and comforting, but if you're looking for what I was, you may want to keep looking.

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I cannot thank you enough!

Allison, thank you for this book! Margaret, thank you, your voice made it like listening to a friend. I am working hard at not being an Enabler now! I know I will be listening again and again.

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I GOT JUST WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Yes, and I have recommended it to several friends. It helped me gain clarity and conviction about changes I needed to make in regards to my kids.

What other book might you compare Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children to and why?

Co-dependent No More - By Melody Beattie For me the lack of healthy boundaries is a direct result of being codependent. This was a hard pill to swallow.

What does Margaret Strom bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

She sounds convinced that the plan she is presenting is sound and will produce good results.

What insight do you think you’ll apply from Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children?

I have already completed the Action Plan and I am moving forward with setting those boundaries with my loved ones. Most of all I see how I have made my child believe they are not capable and I don't believe in them because I have not had healthy boundaries with them. A true wake up call.

Any additional comments?

It's never to late to change.

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Brought hope and peace

Listening to this book was very encouraging bringing hope and a sense of peace as I struggle with my adult son.
I highly recommend this book.

  • Overall

Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children

The book was very helpful in reminding me that I am not alone and I know that my adult children are not my responsibility. Allowing them to grow and develop in their lives is my job not to enabler them. The less I do the more I can start loving me. Loving me allows me to love others unconditionally and being able to detach with love. Thank you.

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Incredible book that's right on

This book was incredibly accurate on what we as parents need to do at what ever point we are in with our adult children. So many of us have enabled our kids thinking we were helping them make it through life easier. In actuality, we stopped them from becoming responsible thought giving adults. It's very difficult to change what we have known for 20+ years. But we must. We deserve to be happy and free.

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  • Jo
  • 10-25-16

MOTHER of 18 children, 10 ADULT

I Pray and ask God for Help . And God sent me this book. I have a lot of growing up to do.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 01-03-17

Narrator put me off listening

What did you like best about Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children? What did you like least?

The content of the book was okay, but I found the narrator very off-putting because of poor phrasing, pauses in wrong places, and generally a bit monotonous.