Done with the Crying

Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children

By: Sheri McGregor

Narrated by: Randye Kaye

Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins

Publisher's summary

In Done with the Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children, Sheri McGregor, MA, helps parents break free from emotional pain - and move forward in their own lives.

As a loving mother to whom the unthinkable happened, McGregor knows the horrible shock that wrings a parent dry, triggers denial, blame, anger, and shame. With empathy and understanding, as well as tools, the latest research, and insight from more than 9,000 parents of estranged adult children, McGregor helps parents of estranged adults plan ahead, prepare for emotional triggers, and prevail over setbacks and pain.

You can be happy again. In a calm yet authoritative voice, and with exercises derived from her work as a life coach and her own recovery, McGregor helps mothers come to terms with their estranged adult child's choices and regain their health and happiness.

To fathers of estranged adult children - this book can help you, too. "Ninety-three percent of the parents who answer my survey at rejectedparents.net are mothers," says Sheri McGregor. "That's why the title is directed at them. But many of the book's examples are from couples, and include the experiences of fathers. Some passages directly highlight men's reactions, including my husband's. The principles presented are relevant to fathers, and the strategies for coping can be used by anyone."

In this encouraging and comprehensive book, McGregor fully covers the phenomenon of estranged adult children from families who never expected a son or daughter to cut ties and walk away.

Nine in-depth chapters provide dozens of inspiring examples from among the thousands of parents of estranged adult children. Gain understanding and practical help from a mother who knows the pain of this devastating loss with all its uncertainty and heartache. Hope can remain, but you don't have to stay stalled, forever waiting. You can move past the disbelief and distress. Take charge. Reclaim yourself and your life - only maybe even better.

©2016 Sheri McGregor (P)2018 Tantor

Take your life back and let healing begin

I found myself suddenly inducted into a club that none of us would want to join as parents. But what to do about it? The feeling that we are alone and unable to speak out or reach out for support is all-too-common. We didn't want to push our daughter further into Rebellion by speaking out publicly. Al-Anon was one option but this does not fill the void of resources for parents who are abandoned after raising their child lovingly and with and for excellence. This book takes an honest look at what the parents of estranged children are going through and have gone through leading up to the estrangement. While others are quick to judge unless they have walked a mile in another's shoes, this resource is compassionate and respectful and restores both common sense and dignity to suffering parents. often we do not even know we have been stripped of Common Sense until it is too late and we begin to question everything around us in light of the loss and betrayals we have sustained. Those of us who invested everything we had and everything we are find ourselves completely unprepared for such a twist in life. The author comes along side the parents as one who understands the grief and bewilderment first-hand but does not leave us stuck there by any means. I was able to take the author's hand and walk from the dark night of pain and grief and into the light knowing that brighter and brighter days are ahead. the exercise in the book are important for healing and considering the cost of counseling, it is a phenomenally priced resource. Just being able to read through and respond carefully and mindfully to the authors questions brought a new perspective so useful for healing and to allow me to begin to let go of what I cannot change or fix and focus on all of the love around me and be a blessing in the circumstances I can change. whether this is Week 1 and you are reeling from the shock, or this has been your road.to walk for some time, there are suggestions that will help you become the very strongest you can be while you pray and trust God to bring healing and restoration in His time.

My heart is much lighter

If only I could’ve found this book sooner. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I could not believe the amount of parents that go through the same thing my husband and I have been going through.
The information that is given in this book is so helpful and the way that it is presented iis so absolutely amazing. I think more counselor and therapist should recommend this book to parents That are struggling. This book has helped me more than any counselor or therapist has in the past year.
God bless you!

Highly recommend for beleaguered parents

This book by the kind, warm-spirited author was balm to my soul. It not only gave examples and information which provided commiseration, but, more importantly, much of the book is dedicated to moving on. Although I didn't have the extreme mistreatment that the author and others in her book experienced, my own children have done what I call "virtual estrangement," not contacting me but a few times a year and oftentimes only when they need something, this after being the best mom I possibly knew how to be and being in their corner in every way I could.

There is something in society that is contributing to this maltreatment of our fellow humans generally, and I feel it has not yet been corralled with understanding. This quote I lifted from a website about parental estrangement that sums it up: "It is of no solace to good parents, but I have observed through friends and family that the awful, emotionally neglectful parents are the ones who ironically get most attention from their kids well through adulthood, because these kids are constantly craving affection, attention, and approval they never had. And yet it is the great parents who give their kids the gift to grow wings and fly the nest, and be totally and utterly self-sufficient who are mistreated with estrangement. It is a strange and uncomfortable truth."

There aren't any easy answers to this form of emotional abuse, but this book has gone a long way toward helping me find ways to cope and get past this harsh reality. Although this book is aimed at mothers in the title, I think it would be helpful for men to listen to, particularly if he is not finding a sympathetic ear or coping strategies elsewhere. Peace to all good parents who suffer in this way ...

Wonderful insight.

I love it. still reading it. it is helping me throughout my years of not having my daughter. Thank you. I'm moving forward and looking forward to a brighter future.

Stopped hating and /or waiting for my child to love me .

This book is like having your personal therapist whom you can rely on 24 hours of the day and seven days of the week .

From chapter 1, the onset of your offspring pushing you out of their life , and the many stages in between to the final chapter , Sheri helps you to evaluate yourself and your offspring in a way that removes all of the negative feelings from one of the most painful events that you could ever experience in life .

If you are experiencing any time of estrangement —- this is a must read book

Excellent Well Researched and Compassionate

I related very much to many of the stories in this book. Thank you Sherri for bringing light and compassion to a very difficult and gut wrenching topic. You helped me accept reality and gather my wits so I can now move forward.

very helpful, in a numb time!

I love this book! i have have found it very helpful and will be applying what I learned.

Helpful advise

This is a wonderful book for any parent going through relationship breakdown/issues with their grown up child.
The book describes the many commen emotions and situations a parent can find themselves having to deal with when a son or daughter decide to no longer want to be in their lives anymore. It is a devastating and soul destroying experience, but knowing so many other parents go through it makes you feel less alone.
Highly recommend this book. Its invaluable in getting you back on track and living life again.

Years of Sadness

This helped me with years of heartache. I had to hear other parents stories before I could begin to heal from not having any contact with my children. I do not want anyone keep feeling bad when you need to get on with your life. God Bless

Got me through Thanksgiving

it helped me to keep remembering "Its not my fault" Last year I felt blessed with 2 out 4 communicating with me. This year, the year of Pandemic NONE. Estranged adults from parents is fast approaching PANDEMIC PROPORTIONS. Don't judge parents if you have not experienced this. #1. We get our reputations drug through sewage. Typically, all lies. #2. As a the wife of a "grown juvenile delinquent," I had very little time to enjoy my girls I had a business I had to run to keep a roof over our head and food in their tummies. #3. Everything has to appear perfect in this Facebook world or you delete it off your wall and get something or someone else. #4. You reap what you sow, deliberately, speaking.
There's a lot of grief involved. Yet, I'm done with crying. I'm married to a wonderful, understanding husband and I am going to ENJOY MY LIFE WITH HIM.
LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE 👌
I don't want REVENGE for my girls, and I will grow out of this stage but the people in my girls lives that were complicit in this...your turn is coming unless you change your ways and mind your own business 💯

Do not hesitate

If you are not sure about this book, I can tell you it is transformative. I cannot praise it enough. Whether full estrangement or an uncertain relationship which you are attempting to save, this book will be invaluable, incorporating life skills, strategies, advice. Entirely excellent.

Needed more guidance on how to get through estrangement

I didn’t finish this as I wanted more from it as I had read about estrangement before so it felt like there was nothing new.

Couldn’t finish it

I couldn’t finish this book it depressed me even more! Iv managed to sort things out myself in my own way. The author/book didn’t consider every situation it just focused on areas similar to her situation which wasn’t helpful to me at all and some of the advice to me wasn’t right. Ohh and the voice irritated me to death!!!

Excellent help for me.

This book gave me methods to tolerate and get over the deep hurt caused by the estrangement of my only son.

AN ABSOLUTE MUST 🌈

There is nothing in this book that it doesn't cover regarding an estrangement with an adult child 💓 It ticked so many boxes for me after trying to get help but never finding it 🧸 It helped me to "understand" but also gave me the tools I needed to move forward🌺 I now know exactly what to do, how to go about it and I can't thank this book enough🙏

Thank You

So many books have been written from the ‘child’s’ perspective- oft implying mother’s are cruel or unloving. This book beautifully speaks to mothers who have tried their best, however imperfect that best might have been considered to be by their adult children. I especially love how it takes you by the hand and gently leads you forward to an accepting life, open, but filled with fresh ways of living, focussed on those that wish to be in your life. It’s not about harbouring guilt or apportioning blame on either side. It is about being responsible for the choices we all make going forward, as adults. It’s about rediscovering ourselves and not allowing all our goodness to be swallowed up in our past or achingly stuck with those that no longer wish to be part of our lives. It is a beacon through.
The subject matter is difficult and, as the author comments on, it can often leave mother’s isolated in their sadness, out of fear of being judged or misunderstood - this book reminds us we’re not alone - there is understanding and recognition of the path we are on - and there is a brighter way ahead.
Absolutely recommend - I enjoyed it so much that I purchased the paperback version as a visual reminder to give me cause to smile when I forget :)

Not for me

I listened to the book till around half way through Chapter 2, then I gave up. It made me feel very depressed afterwards if I'm honest. I also found the narrator was far too chirpy - almost like she was reading a fairy tale. It really grated on me. I had been looking forward to listening to this book - but it just wasn't what I was hoping for.

Helpful for parents struggling with estrangement

This book provides in depth advice for mothers on how to cope when their child cuts contact. Sensitively and eloquently written.

No real content very repetitive

A lot of talk about helping with no real strategies. Extraordinarily repetitive nothing. No real content or research. Misleading and poor.

Positive advice for a heart-rending situation

Really well thought out and practical information and advice to help over the pain of adult child estrangement