• Living and Loving After Betrayal

  • How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment
  • By: Steven Stosny
  • Narrated by: Arthur Morey
  • Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Release date: 09-17-13
  • Language: English
  • Publisher: Tantor Audio
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (122 ratings)

Regular price: $24.49

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Publisher's Summary

Betrayal has many faces, including anger, abuse, deceit, and infidelity. These feel like betrayal because they violate the implicit promise of emotional bonds, that your loved one will care about your well-being and never intentionally hurt you. If you've recently left a relationship where you felt betrayed by your partner, you may have difficulty moving on. In fact, it can seem impossible to view the world without the shadow of past betrayal hovering over you. As a result, you may struggle to create meaning in your life and to build new, loving relationships.

In Living and Loving after Betrayal, therapist and relationship expert Steven Stosny offers effective tools for healing, based on his highly successful Compassion Power program. He founded the Compassion Power agency on the belief that we are more powerful when compassionate than when angry or aggressive, and that true strength comes from relating compassionately to others and remaining true to your deeper values.

In this audiobook, you'll learn practical strategies for overcoming betrayal-induced trauma and the chronic resentment and depression that result, using this innovative compassion-empowerment approach. Most audiobooks on betrayal only focus on the obvious issues, such as infidelity, abuse, or sex addiction. This audiobook explores the effects of those kinds of betrayal, as well as less-talked-about types, such as emotional manipulation, dishonesty, deceit, and financial cheating. In addition, the audiobook helps you regain a sense of trust in others so that you can eventually find another compassionate person to share your life with or, if you choose, to rebuild a relationship with your reformed betrayer.

©2013 Steven Stosny Ph.D. (P)2013 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"May help sufferers gain insight and move along with life." ( Kirkus)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Best of the best with honors.. sir!

What did you love best about Living and Loving After Betrayal?

When my wife left me for an affair I was lost. I read so many books, CDs, internet sites, forums, everything I could to try to understand what had happened. I was so concerned with repairing what she had done.
While many of the other books offered insights into why it happened and the things that led up to it, they never fully talked about what I was going through.
I came to the conclusion that it was my fault and my short comings as her husband. Most of the books centered around breaking up, starting a new relationship, or surviving the affair.
All of them were spot on in their words, especially looking back over this past year since it all happened. Surviving an affair could have been written word for word how it played out.
What this book gave me that the others have not is a clear concise workbook and way to look at her betrayal.
It solidified in my mind that even though I do still blame myself for what led up to her affair, her affair was completely her doing and happened because of her lack of ability to stand true to her values.
It never touched on waiting or trying to survive an affair like the other books. Instead it concentrated on personal healing and a way to look at what had happened using clear examples.
Had I read this right after discovery I may not have gotten much out of it, some time needed to pass before I could accept what it had to say.
This book solidified in my mind that it was right to try to wait out her affair and that she at heart was not a bad person, even though that's not the point. The point is to heal from this before ever thinking about moving on or entertaining taking her back in the current situation.

Id recommend this book above the dozens of others I read when it comes to personal healing.
Should we not decide to divorce I believe the examples in the last section really set a precedent on how that should go according to my needs while simultaneously keeping her in mind.
Should we divorce this book helped me with that as well.

10/10 can't recommend it enough.

Other good books are:
Not just friends - how they start
Surviving an affair - may make you suffer longer than you need to.
Divorce busting- similar to above but less religious
Book of forgiving-
No more mr nice guy - mostly for men who don't wear the pants in their life
Mate - what women really want from men
If only he knew- what your wife thinks
The 5 love languages- should know this for all relationships
His needs her needs- similar to surviving an affair

If you are reading this book than my heart goes out to you. I hope you find peace and the answer you are looking for.
This review was written by all appearances is a very Masculine man who was brought to his knees by betrayal and found a way to stand again.
I hope the same for all of you regardless of the type of betrayal.

Have you listened to any of Arthur Morey’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

none

13 of 13 people found this review helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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Better to buy the book; info excellent,.

Should have bought the hard copy ! An audiobook cannot be a workbook!? Couldn't find PDF of tests.. so no benefit from evaluations...paid same price as hard copy..

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Stop looking for another book

This wonderful book has doubled as an universal multi faceted tool for healing my broken soul. I am so very grateful. Thank you Dr. Stosny.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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healing & empowering

very good. necessary reminders to focus on my Core Values and not allow anyone to devalue me!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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this book is going to change my life

Would you listen to Living and Loving After Betrayal again? Why?

I am listening to it again, listened to it once and I thought wow...how can a audible book help me where living over 2-1/2 years and two therapist, did nothing! I have felt so broken and logical telling of why a person reacts the way they do and tools to help you change. This book is amazing, I can not wait for my husband to get home from his hunting trip and listen to it, so he can understand me and himself better. I have total faith that we will be just fine. Better than fine.

What did you like best about this story?

It makes sense, it made me feel understood and it gave HELP to help yourself.

What insight do you think you’ll apply from Living and Loving After Betrayal?

most of it

10 of 13 people found this review helpful

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Insightful rewarding

I could not stop listening to it. So truthful and on target. Very helpful to those hurt by betrayal.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Terrific book

Where does Living and Loving After Betrayal rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

THE BEST.
BOth the narrator and author have done justice to the content and sensitivity of the issue.

Any additional comments?

This book should reach millions of audience like me who are going through hell. The book offers real life solutions and no false promises.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Informative and practical

I found this to be a great audible. Did not realize it was going to have so many exercises in it. Which I thought I wouldn't care for at first, but since he gives you examples of the direction you should answer, it feels like a Q&A with an actual therapist.

I plan on reading over and over because it was so great for me.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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Better to buy the actual book

This book was not written to be an audio book. It was written to be used as a resource or a reference. The book is filled with exercises to aid in the healing process. There were parts when I forgot the point the author was getting to because of the narrators repetitiveness (not the narrators fault) I.e. a section that had "vice versa" repeated about 20 times. A lot of the information in the book did not stay with me because it was more exercise based.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • CG
  • 04-15-18

A complete explanation of how betrayal impacts humans

This book was recommended to me by a very good therapist who was helping me work through betrayal trauma. I read many good books in search of healing but none of them hit the nail on the head the way this book did.

One particular part that helped me immensely is Stosny’s explanation of resentment, how it is created, the power it has to impact our behavior and how to let it go. It is so good, I have used a simplified version of it to teach others about resentment. The other really good part is how it clarifies what a person’s options are when a partner has been unfaithful. It’s common for people to feel like they don’t know what to do, but Stosny lays out what your only options are.

There is really only one part that I believe is inaccurate, wrong, and not helpful. There is a reference to men being ‘visual’ and not being able to refrain from ‘checking out’ (objectifying) other women they find attractive. Stosny says something to the effect that a female partner would just have to accept that her partner does this. It is wrong because 1. Men are not more visual than women. 2. Men are perfectly capable of controlling their actions. Ogling at women is a cultural conditioning that says ‘women are sexual objects for males, therefore it is acceptable that men do this because they are sexually entitled to women.’ 3. It can be very painful and humiliating for a women to have her partner do this. A man can end this base habit by being mindful about it. It would be much better to raise the bar than to give men another pass on harmful behavior.

With the one exception, the book is very very good and I have recommended it to several people. : )