I Love You but I Don’t Trust You

The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship

By: Mira Kirshenbaum

Narrated by: Emily Durante

Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins

Publisher's summary

Is my relationship worth saving? Will the trust ever come back? How can things be good between us again? Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged.

In this complete guide, couples therapist Mira Kirshenbaum will also help you understand the stages by which trust strengthens when the rebuilding process is allowed to take place. And you will learn how the two of you can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and discover how to feel secure with each other again.

©2012 Mira Kirshenbaum (P)2016 Tantor

for betrayed women - not men!

good content and generally solid advice. however, it was pretty upsetting to always hear her describe the betrayer as male and the betrayed as female. ... some of her examples are the other way around, but anything about infidelity or anything really serious is set up as the man betraying the woman. -- also, all of her generic examples use the pronoun set as male=betrayer. ...

as a betrayeD man, this was hard to hear over and over again.

Amazing advice

This woman is incredibly insightful and a beautiful soul. She gave me practical advice and tools for deep introspection.

As for the reviews about her swearing....

Effing grow up. It was appropriate when used. She identified with my emotions through the use of those words. Your offense to language is NOT a reason to disregard this amazing work.

Very eye opening!

This book really helped me understand there are different kinds of betrayal that eat away at trust. I always new I didn't feel safe in my relationship of 26 years, but I couldn't put my finger on it. This book opened my eyes and confirmed my feelings, helped me put a label to what I was feeling which also confirmed that no I am not crazy and no I am not being unreasonable. I read this book in 3 days! By the way I'm an MFT and I will definitely be using what I learned from this book with my clients. So so good!

I'm a better person since reading this.

Would you listen to I Love You but I Don’t Trust You again? Why?

I started readying this book because I felt betrayed. As the words continued, it was like a light bulb went off. If I want to be able to trust again, then I really need to change the way I looked and acted about the situation. I completely surprised my husband by this and he is skeptical still, but by changing the way I reacted to things (the opposite of what I would normally do) I found that I could be more open and understanding to what happened. I figured it would take a long time to get over, but it didn't and I am much happier because of it. I shared this book with my husband so hopefully it helps him as well. I highly recommend this book.

useful for many situations and from both sides

This book is for mistrust in all types of situations (secrecy, cheating, lies, hidden financial situations....all mistrust) . Also covers the perspectives of both parties .....the person who committed the mistrust and the person who lost trust. Helps make you feel normal and not alone and tells you how to rebuild or leave.

Restoring Trust is Hard

As a repeat offender of losing trust with the one I love, this book helped me understand the patterns of my behavior and the responses from partner. It takes work and isn't easy but the author gives tangible suggestions on steps you can take to start building again.

It was very helpful and I loved the examples

Would you listen to I Love You but I Don’t Trust You again? Why?

The book explained a variety of different types of trust issues and represented both point of views (that of the person without trust and their partner). Great examples were given. I recommended it to my sister, she found it helpful. I also had my partner listen to parts of the audio so that he could better understand things from my POV. He found it eye opening.

Solid Advice, Well Delivered

As someone trying to fix the trust I’ve broken, this book gave me: great insight into what my s/o feels, tactics to help sort things back out, stories and examples to help me understand and apply the advice, a better sense of hope, knowledge of what we’ve accidentally done incorrectly or to make things worse, and generally a wonderful guide on how to reassure, appreciate, help, listen to, trust, love, and break into a happier chapter of life with my s/o. I’ve marked many places in this book and taken down many notes to reflect on and work into my day to day life. -Side note: I saw one review that said something about the author ‘defending’ betrayers and I completely disagree. I think that review was written by someone deep in the understandable anger and hurt that comes with a betrayal of any kind and what they viewed as ‘defense’ was just a simple reasoning behind why the person in one story betrayed his wife. It was not a defense or an excuse by any means; all betrayals of any kind have some sort of ‘why’ behind them -even though that ‘why’ should have and could have been handled in a much better way. I never once felt either unjustly attacked or defended while reading this and I want my s/o to listen to this book as well as I think they could actually relate quite well and learn a lot too. ☺️

too many swear words

the F word and all others were used. this is supposed to be a self help book, but I felt harmed in the process. if swear words don't bother you - it has great concepts and ideas to work through

misleading title

I was hoping that this book would be about learning how to trust again in a new relationship versus suffering from a current relationship and then learning to trust that same person who shat on you basically. I feel like this book was actually written by a cheater who is just trying to convince people to stay with their cheaters so they can continue to cheat