Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life

The Chump Lady's Survival Guide
Narrated by: Laura Copland
Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
5 out of 5 stars (346 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life is a no-nonsense self-help guide for anyone who has ever been cheated on. Here's advice not based on saving your relationship after infidelity - but saving your sanity.

When it comes to cheating, a lot of the attention is focused on cheaters - their unmet needs or their challenges with monogamy. But Tracy Schorn (aka Chump Lady) lampoons such blameshifting and puts the focus squarely on the cheated-upon (chumps) and their needs. Full of solid advice that champions self-respect, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life offers a fresh voice for chumps who want (and need) a new message about infidelity. This book will offer advice on stupid sh*t cheaters say and how to respond, rookie mistakes of the recently chumped and how to disarm your fears, why chumps take the blame and how to protect yourself, and more.

Full of snark, sass, and real wisdom about how to bounce back after the gut blow of betrayal, Schorn is the friend who guides you through this nightmare and gives you hope for a better life ahead.

©2016 Tracy Schorn (P)2017 Tantor

What listeners say about Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life

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Marvelous

Soul saving. It cuts right through all the calamity and bullshit to the heart of the matter - your life is worth it, and their choices are not yours to deal with & suffer under. You deserve your own life. And this audiobook is a relentless voice in your ear of tough love for guiding you to making it out alive - and well.

7 people found this helpful

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Best Book on Infidelity

I wish I had this book over a year ago. Absolutely loved the book. Straight forward and honest. Plus there is humor to make you laugh when there is not a lot to laugh about. I have already recommended and will continue recommending.

5 people found this helpful

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this book saved my life!

This book is a must read for any person facing infidelity. I am eternally grateful to Tracy Schorn for clearly and thoroughly relating her insights and experiences. She has helped me move forward confidently with recreating my life.

5 people found this helpful

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If you have had multiple D-Days BUY this book now

I don't think that all cheaters are pathological narcissists as presented in this book. I do believe that good people make poor choices. For example, a husband with kids in a sexless marriage. He could honestly believe that getting his needs met with out breaking up the family is being a good person. Sometimes men don't even think their wives like them anymore-they just like the paycheck and the lifestyle.

However multiple D days are for chumps. If your partner cheats, gets caught, sees the pain s/he has caused you then does it again? You are then married to a narcissist. It will not get better you will just be more hurt. You need to go. buy this book NOW. You need to stop being a chump and move on right away.

I don't agree with telling the kids. Research shows that this is damaging to the kids. Kids need both parents in their lives. Other than that the rest of the advice is spot on and effective.

She has a great blog/wesbite/forum as well. Join those and get the support you need because this hurts!!


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Wake up call

Great wake up call! The straight forward hard truth in this book and the narrators presentation of it is profound and eye opening. A true heart to heart.

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To the point

Loved this book, if I forget or try to let my mind tell me something different . I listen to it again. She keeps it real. ( Reality check) . Soothes my soul!!

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A must if you were cheated on!

This book really helped me understand what I was dealing with understanding my wife’s affair. I am on the road to recovery now thanks to this book!

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Amazing

Loved it! It was perfect helped me completely! I am no longer confused about what I am going to do! Thank you so much writing and sharing this book with us!

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Great book

I think this is a good book several things she talked about were in the dot about cheaters personalities..
The book helps you value yourself and stop the vicious cycle.. I enjoyed it if I can say that despite the circumstances :)

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Great content, poor narration

I loved the book. Wish I'd "read" it a year ago when I found out my husband had continued his affair for months after he'd been found out and I thought it was over. Though we're already separated, I haven't filled for divorce and waiting so long makes the leaving harder now. But Chump Lady hit the nail on the head when describing what cheaters say and do. She perfectly described my cheating husband and also validated my feelings. I did not care for the narration of the book but the content was excellent.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Dee
  • 06-30-20

brilliantly supportive book

just brilliant. has given me a clearer perspective on my situation. knowing there are so many fellow chumps out there dealing with the same pain as a result of a narcassist and their actions provides much clarity.

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  • Joan, London
  • 06-11-20

A must read!

Found this author on Facebook a few days ago.
I have just finished listening to Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life. I can honestly say it’s one of the best books I’ve read. I can see why it has 5 stars.
I came to the conclusion that my husband is on the spectrum for narcissism 2 years ago and have been on a journey of self discovery ever since. This book did not disappoint and has added greatly to that learning.
Thank you Tracey. I love your honesty. Brilliant read.

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  • London
  • 04-23-20

Amazing

This book is amazing. I can't put into words how much I needed to hear this and how much it has helped me. It's like having the very best, honest and supportive friend. The author is on your side, but tells you the painful truth. Brilliant book!

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  • wayne gillespie
  • 04-18-20

totally brilliant!

so my cheating husband has been lying to me, all the lies that I should have known better about this book made me realise it's not my fault like he had been telling me...I finally found the guts to let him go....would reccomend this to everyone who has been cheated on! it's a brilliant no nonsense advice on what his lies actually mean and an understanding that I'm not the only one this has happened to and how to deal with my narcissist ex.

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  • Sarah
  • 01-23-20

Truly an honest book

Finally not a reconciliation book, rather a brutally honest depiction of how it really is. Shocking how cheaters all over the world have the same traits, spoken the same lies and did the same stuff. This book is without filter, a true kick in the butt and that's all I needed to hear. Would recommend to anyone who's going through this awful time.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 06-11-19

Saved my sanity!

A must read for anyone in or following a narcissistic or unhealthy relationship, or anyone wanting to support those who are!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 08-03-20

A powerful book which has saved many lives!

With the tools, insight and encouragement contained in this book, a chump can rid themselves of the cheater and start to gain life free from the abuse. It is a refreshing voice which confronts the ingrained narrative surrounding cheating. Chumps can go from the devastating realisation that they're trauma bonded to their cheater, to the empowering position of leaving, knowing their worth and finding peace in a new life without the manipulation.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-28-20

best read ever

I hung onto every word the narrator uttered. recommended to anyone who has been cheated on.