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Publisher's Summary

Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life is a no-nonsense self-help guide for anyone who has ever been cheated on. Here's advice not based on saving your relationship after infidelity - but saving your sanity.

When it comes to cheating, a lot of the attention is focused on cheaters - their unmet needs or their challenges with monogamy. But Tracy Schorn (aka Chump Lady) lampoons such blameshifting and puts the focus squarely on the cheated-upon (chumps) and their needs. Full of solid advice that champions self-respect, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life offers a fresh voice for chumps who want (and need) a new message about infidelity. This book will offer advice on stupid sh*t cheaters say and how to respond, rookie mistakes of the recently chumped and how to disarm your fears, why chumps take the blame and how to protect yourself, and more.

Full of snark, sass, and real wisdom about how to bounce back after the gut blow of betrayal, Schorn is the friend who guides you through this nightmare and gives you hope for a better life ahead.

©2016 Tracy Schorn (P)2017 Tantor

What listeners say about Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life

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Marvelous

Soul saving. It cuts right through all the calamity and bullshit to the heart of the matter - your life is worth it, and their choices are not yours to deal with & suffer under. You deserve your own life. And this audiobook is a relentless voice in your ear of tough love for guiding you to making it out alive - and well.

8 people found this helpful

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Best Book on Infidelity

I wish I had this book over a year ago. Absolutely loved the book. Straight forward and honest. Plus there is humor to make you laugh when there is not a lot to laugh about. I have already recommended and will continue recommending.

7 people found this helpful

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this book saved my life!

This book is a must read for any person facing infidelity. I am eternally grateful to Tracy Schorn for clearly and thoroughly relating her insights and experiences. She has helped me move forward confidently with recreating my life.

7 people found this helpful

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If you have had multiple D-Days BUY this book now

I don't think that all cheaters are pathological narcissists as presented in this book. I do believe that good people make poor choices. For example, a husband with kids in a sexless marriage. He could honestly believe that getting his needs met with out breaking up the family is being a good person. Sometimes men don't even think their wives like them anymore-they just like the paycheck and the lifestyle.

However multiple D days are for chumps. If your partner cheats, gets caught, sees the pain s/he has caused you then does it again? You are then married to a narcissist. It will not get better you will just be more hurt. You need to go. buy this book NOW. You need to stop being a chump and move on right away.

I don't agree with telling the kids. Research shows that this is damaging to the kids. Kids need both parents in their lives. Other than that the rest of the advice is spot on and effective.

She has a great blog/wesbite/forum as well. Join those and get the support you need because this hurts!!


5 people found this helpful

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Clarity

This is a MUST READ (or listen) if you’ve been cheated on. The book helped bring clarity to how I view my spouse and the affair. Schorn is unambiguous where other books dance around that feeling inside you that you didn’t ask for this, that the affair partner made their own choices and didn’t handle relationship issues in an honorable way. Even if you’re not sure about leaving your cheater, this book will help restore some sanity to you and alter your perception of the affair in a healthy way. Read it!

4 people found this helpful

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Wake up call

Great wake up call! The straight forward hard truth in this book and the narrators presentation of it is profound and eye opening. A true heart to heart.

4 people found this helpful

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To the point

Loved this book, if I forget or try to let my mind tell me something different . I listen to it again. She keeps it real. ( Reality check) . Soothes my soul!!

3 people found this helpful

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Great and encouraging

Great book. Encouraging and real. Nothing sugar coated and while the language is adult in nature so is the content. I couldn’t agree more with the content.

2 people found this helpful

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I needed this....

I needed to hear this content...this raw honest perspective to prevent me from playing games with my emotions. This helped me retrieve from reconciliation that would only lead to more pain, more lies, more deception from someone incapable of living in truth. thank you.

2 people found this helpful

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Thanks for the PUSH!!!

I thought I was looking for a book on how to save my marriage after being cheated on. Instead I got this book and it was exactly what I was looking for and exactly what I needed thank you so much for the push I am ready to take this on

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 11-24-20

Brilliant

Brilliant audiobook! helped me so much after my husband cheated. Thank you Chump lady.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Green Coral11
  • 08-27-21

brilliantly narrated

great eye opening book on cheaters. Great insight and sense of humor. Really enjoyed the narration.

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  • Anna L.
  • 03-20-21

Outstanding, informative, common sense!

If you have been cheated on, this is the only book you will ever need. Tracy Schorn, a chump who was cheated on leads fellow chumps on a brilliant journey of understanding the world of cheaters and what to do next. I no longer feel alone and my understanding of cheaters has excelled. I also feel empowered to do the right thing.....leave my cheating husband and create a new life for myself, where all of my love, energy and attention goes to.......me!! I am ready to take back my life from my using, abusing, narcissistic husband and life it to the full again. Thank you Tracy, you really have saved my life xx

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  • kelly-lou
  • 12-05-20

amazing

brilliant read, exactly what I needed, have recommended to so many people, thoroughly enjoyed! xx

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  • Dee
  • 06-30-20

brilliantly supportive book

just brilliant. has given me a clearer perspective on my situation. knowing there are so many fellow chumps out there dealing with the same pain as a result of a narcassist and their actions provides much clarity.

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  • Joan, London
  • 06-11-20

A must read!

Found this author on Facebook a few days ago.
I have just finished listening to Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life. I can honestly say it’s one of the best books I’ve read. I can see why it has 5 stars.
I came to the conclusion that my husband is on the spectrum for narcissism 2 years ago and have been on a journey of self discovery ever since. This book did not disappoint and has added greatly to that learning.
Thank you Tracey. I love your honesty. Brilliant read.

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  • London
  • 04-23-20

Amazing

This book is amazing. I can't put into words how much I needed to hear this and how much it has helped me. It's like having the very best, honest and supportive friend. The author is on your side, but tells you the painful truth. Brilliant book!

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  • wayne gillespie
  • 04-18-20

totally brilliant!

so my cheating husband has been lying to me, all the lies that I should have known better about this book made me realise it's not my fault like he had been telling me...I finally found the guts to let him go....would reccomend this to everyone who has been cheated on! it's a brilliant no nonsense advice on what his lies actually mean and an understanding that I'm not the only one this has happened to and how to deal with my narcissist ex.

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  • Sarah
  • 01-23-20

Truly an honest book

Finally not a reconciliation book, rather a brutally honest depiction of how it really is. Shocking how cheaters all over the world have the same traits, spoken the same lies and did the same stuff. This book is without filter, a true kick in the butt and that's all I needed to hear. Would recommend to anyone who's going through this awful time.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 06-11-19

Saved my sanity!

A must read for anyone in or following a narcissistic or unhealthy relationship, or anyone wanting to support those who are!

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  • Jasminoir
  • 08-05-21

Get over it!!!

If you need that push back into reality then this book is a must. The writer's focus is on self help and not self pity. I keep coming back to this on my not so good days and it puts me back on track again. Totally recommend to help "get over it" .

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-28-21

A must read even if you decide to reconcile

Even if you ultimately decide to stay in the marriage, there is a lot to learn from this. There is heaps of practical advice about how not to get fucked over again.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 11-21-20

Gain a life

This book was exactly what I needed to read. Even though I wasn’t married to my cheater it was still relevant. I laughed and cried with the narrator. It was everything I needed to hear. It reminded me that I get to choose how this chapter of my life defines me and how it will be written. It’s a must read for anyone that was cheated on.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 08-03-20

A powerful book which has saved many lives!

With the tools, insight and encouragement contained in this book, a chump can rid themselves of the cheater and start to gain life free from the abuse. It is a refreshing voice which confronts the ingrained narrative surrounding cheating. Chumps can go from the devastating realisation that they're trauma bonded to their cheater, to the empowering position of leaving, knowing their worth and finding peace in a new life without the manipulation.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-28-20

best read ever

I hung onto every word the narrator uttered. recommended to anyone who has been cheated on.