Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, Revised Edition

Relationship Repair in a Flash

By: Nancy Dreyfus PsyD

Narrated by: Gabra Zackman

Length: 5 hrs and 7 mins

Publisher's summary

Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love is a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing. Couples therapist Nancy Dreyfus hit upon this revolutionary practice during a particularly angry couples-therapy session in which a wife's unrelenting criticism of her husband was making him more and more emotionally withdrawn. Suddenly, Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, "Talk to me like I'm someone you love," and gesturing to the husband that he should hold it up. He did, and within seconds, the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged.

This revised edition features two new sections—one on making love and another on deepening trust—containing over twenty-five statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love but for which we can't find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them. Each of the statements in this book is accompanied by "field notes" from the author that explain when, why, and how to use the statement, as well as real-life stories from the author's practice.

©1993, 2009, 2013 Nancy Dreyfus (P)2021 HighBridge, a division of Recorded Books

Really excellent.

I recommend purchasing the physical copy as well so you can reference the cards as she suggests

Very insightful.

I feel like I learned a lot about how to communicate better with my spouse or even family members and friends.

Worthwhile with a few caveats

There are many worthwhile and useful items in this book. I do believe that she overgeneralize when it comes to men and sex.
Absent that is a worthwhile and useful listen

Relational must

80-90% of this book I could have used in marriage, and strongly feel it would made a world of difference. These strategies should be memorized and used in a loving, authentic manner. The potential improvement in your marriage is huge.

Great listen, but...

The book as a whole was well delivered. my only real issue, but to me it's a big one of that it didn't come with a PDF file so that we can have the flash cards she speaks about. in order for you to utilize them at all you literally have to have a piece of paper and a pen at all times listening to this so that when she says them, you can jot them down quickly. there's so many and it's very difficult to get them all.

A massive sales pitch for the flash card deck

The book should have been titled “my flash card deck explained” or only sold as an adjunct to the card deck as that is all this book is. I did not buy the cards just the book and I feel it was a waste.

Where was this book 38 years ago?

Sure wish I had this book when I was first married. The approach is both deceptively simple and profoundly useful. It provides a helpful framework for understanding both your relationship and yourself. I am not one for advice books but this one should be on everyone’s list. It is also engaging and easy to follow.

Staying in Love Consciously

I’m a more consciously loving person for having taken in these ideas, and I have more capacity to say a loving spacious response even when I’m feeling uncomfortable, disappointed, or angry. Gottman says in relationships, repair is as good as it gets; Nancy Dreyfus tells us how to do it. And the reading is a heartfelt pleasure.

The best and most user-friendly relationship that ever written

If you’re in a relationship you have to buy this book. It addresses the most fundamental stumbling blocks in relationships and gives very practical ways to transform these blocks in the moment.

Nancy Dreyfus has crafted a very unique book helping you to articulate to your partner what you feel in the moment in ways that we may never be able to access when we are triggered.

Having a set of these relationship cards in your bedroom can be a life saver and can transform your relationship. They can get the root of what you’re feeling and what your partner may be feeling and express it in a way that is authentic. The quotes will create a pause and open hearts when you are stuck and see no way forward and most need support.

Laura Chalfant., Master BodyIntuitive Energy Medicine Practitioner.

Useful information I guess

Maybe I missed something in the description about this being a companion and instruction manual for the flashcards, but this book was not what I expected. It did provoke thought in how I talk to my partner and getting my real meaning across while staying kind. Just isn’t going to be as helpful without the cards.