How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair

A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful

By: Linda J. MacDonald

Narrated by: Tamara Marston

Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins

Publisher's summary

Once an affair comes to light, many unfaithful persons "wake up" and want to save their marriages. Yet they usually make terrible mistakes in their bungled attempts to win back their partners' trust. Linda J. MacDonald, an infidelity specialist for 23 years, has identified behaviors and attitudes that determine unfaithful persons' success or failure to mend their marriages after the wrecking ball of an affair. How to Help Your Spouse Heal from Your Affair offers practical advice for those who've strayed and want a second chance.

It would take weeks of therapy to learn what Successful Rebuilders know:

• How to avoid the potholes that doom marriages after affairs
• Critical guidelines for the first hours after discovery
• Fifteen essential steps for repair after betrayal
• Skills to cope with your partner's obsessions and "triggers"
• Ways to undo the damage from your lies
• The keys to avoid prolonging your spouse's agony (and yours)
• The difference between helpful and harmful apologies
• How to rebuild your broken life, relationships, and integrity

Download the accompanying reference guide.

©2010 Linda J. MacDonald (P)2013 Podium Publishing

Critic reviews

"I regularly provide copies of Linda's book to my clients who are facing this challenge. Unanimously they report, 'That [book] was very helpful.'" (Earl D. Wilson, PhD., author Steering Clear, and Restoring the Fallen)

"This is the most succinct collection of wisdom for helping the unfaithful that I have seen for couples trying to pick up the pieces of their lives after affairs." (Lance Brown, M.A., Minister of Care, Chapel Hill Presbyterian)

Very Helpful

I was so glad my husband listened to this book. After he told me about his affairs with prostitutes I was devastated and this book depicted how I was feeling to a T! She hits on everything I was thinking and feeling and even though I might have expressed this to my husband I think it helped him understand just how devastated I feel and gave him some insight knowing this is normal. Over all it helped me know he "heard" it but he never really GOT IT in the end so we divorced but maybe for couples that don't have a narcissistic sociopath for a spouse you'll have better luck healing.

THE Text Book on how to rebuild

Wether you are the offended or the offender OR if you are tempted to be unfaithful this book must be read or listened to. I woke up this morning and listened, took notes and it changed my mind/perspective on how I saw the events that shaped my life.

great book, very helpful!

I found out about my husband's infidelity around 6 months ago from the first woman and 5 months ago from the second. Since that time he has done little to prove he has changed and is remorseful but has been very adamant that he's done everything he could. This book normalized my feelings and the happenings currently going on in our marriage. I'm hoping that he will listen and take some pointers too. Thank you for this book

This is my life.

This audiobook described every ounce of emotion I was feeling after being cheated on. It felt like the author's words were mine. Give this to the person that betrayed you. The earlier the better...before he/she digs an even deeper hole that he/she can't get out of.

good content for embarrassing subject matter

If you're reading this book it isn't because life is showing you it's grandest possibilities full of hope and goodness. This is a MUST READ for anyone going through the lowest lows in life by experiencing an affair. I was the cheated on spouse and it helped to know from a professional what the healing process should look like. it will be hard to hear if your the cheater, but if you want to save your marriage, or relationship it's a critical read to show you the path to recovery.

Reality is difficult at...

While I was listening to this book it was hard to hear the truth of the reality of the damage I caused. But it was helpful to know an hear how to help my spouse to heal from my selfish choices. This is a book that will help the new spouses that caused the hurt and damage to the other realize that the process is going to be a long time and hurt an painful. During that it is going to be worth the out come that can come if you do what is authentic to you an your spouse. Get this book!!!!!!!!!!!

Really helped

This really helped me have a plan in place to help my wife. I highly recommend this to anyone who has been unfaithful.

Helpful for sure

This is a very helpful guide to helping your other half heal. It's painful to listen to if you are at fault and the audio isn't my favorite, but so many audio books are dry and the narrator is just that. I think all offenders should read this though as it gives insight into something you can only know about if you've experienced it or taken the time to learn about it. Thanks!

Every unfaithful needs to read this

very short and to the point. Very helpful short reasonable requests to help your betrayed heal. Excellent book overall and very recommended for anyone trying to repair and move on.

Extremely Judgemental

The author of this book, early on, lumps viewing pornography, voyerism, and homosexuality in with molesting children and those people need to seek help from a sex addicts counselor. Quite the contrasting behaviors, not to mention there is no recognized, at this time, "sexual addiction." The DSM and AASECT do not recognize "sex addiction."

I felt put down, humiliated, and judged by a person that is a supposed therapist. A good therapist does not judge or humiliate. Unfortunately, even if this author had any good advice, I was shut down and not listening.

As stated in other reviews, the author is biased and should have left her religion at the door. I, too, am Christian, but when publishing a book such as this, one must write it objectively.

Don't waste money on this book. Find a good, objective counselor.

Helpful resource

Excellent and practical resource with classical examples. Answers all the why's, how's, where and when questions without forgetting to highlight the do's and never do's.

Good for understanding the feelings of both sides

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

Yes, it was worth listening to this book because it has a fair account of the feelings of each side. Particularly of the betrayed partner.

What was the most interesting aspect of this story? The least interesting?

The emphasis on the pain of the betrayed person is the most important aspect for the betrayer to understand.

Any additional comments?

Although the title lacks scientific background for its assertions, most of it seems reasonable and interesting. There are some religious comments and views that should not be there but in general, this book can be read by religious and non religious people.