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Publisher's Summary

From the author of the blockbuster best seller The Game: a shockingly personal, surprisingly relatable, brutally honest memoir in which the celebrated dating expert confronts the greatest challenge he has ever faced: monogamy and fidelity.

Neil Strauss became famous to millions around the world as the author of The Game, a funny and slyly instructive account of how he transformed himself from a scrawny, insecure nerd into the ultraconfident, ultrasuccessful "pickup artist" known as Style. The book jump-started the international "seduction community" and made Strauss a household name - revered or notorious - among single men and women alike.

But the experience of writing The Game also transformed Strauss into a man who could have what every man wants: the ability to date - and/or have casual sex with - almost every woman he met. The results were heady, to be sure. But they also conditioned him to view the world as a kind of constant parade of women, sex, and opportunity - with intimacy and long-term commitment taking a backseat.

That is until he met the woman who forced him to choose between herself and the parade. The choice was not only difficult, it was wrenching. It forced him deep into his past, to confront not only the moral dimensions of his pickup lifestyle but also a wrenching mystery in his childhood that shaped the man he became. It sent him into extremes of behavior that exposed just how conflicted his life had become. And it made him question everything he knew about himself,and about the way men and women live with and without each other.

He would never be the same again.

Searingly honest, compulsively listenable, this new book may have the same effect on you.

©2015 Stately Plump Buck Mulligan (P)2015 HarperCollins Publishers

What members say

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Interesting but not the whole truth

In the beginning of the book the author sets a very common problem: when you're single you want to be in a relationship but when you're in a relationship, you want back your freedom. I impatiently wanted to find out if the author has found a new, refreshing perspective to resolve this issue. Unfortunately he has not. His bottom line is that you need to give up short term pleasures for long term results.

But the book is more than that. It's not the ultimate truth about relationships, but it is a very interesting story about the author's own relationship to himself, to his parents, to his past, to his lovers and to his to-be wife. The book is mainly for people who are interested in the author himself, but those who have never questioned their parents or resolved the issues surrounding their childhood might get a very encouraging slap in the face reading this book also.

Unfortunately, as the author tells you not to idealize your parents, he is unable to break the pattern of idealizing his wife, turning this book into a sort of a love letter to her towards the end. Or to be more cynical, into an apology of why he has to give up his old ways and do whatever it takes to make their relationship last.

After having gone through his tales of therapeutic interventions and polyamoric experiments, as you expect to hear the great wisdom he gained through it all, you are left hanging. The book has a manufactured "they lived happily ever after" ending filled with cliches about how to make relationships last. Since, by the time this book was published, they have only been married for less than two years, you are left to wait for the next book to tell you in 5 or 10 years whether it really worked for them and what the final lessons actually were.

If you want the author's perspective for the purposes of self-improvement and relationship building, I'd advice you to skip this lengthy book and its somewhat novice take on these issues and instead check out the works of John Bradshaw.

30 of 32 people found this review helpful

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A must read for all!

An extremely brave and "balls out" account of relationships and the male mind, that can also apply to a females.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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A brave new world

What did you love best about The Truth?

It's a brave new world when a man openly confronts the dysfunctional love suffered at the hands of his parents and the mess of expectations and relationships it creates. The beauty is that this phenomenon isn't unique to Neil Strauss. There isn't another man, woman, creed or culture that won't relate to this story in some way, on a very personal level. Throughout the story I was not only reminded of my own path but also of family and friends. I will forever look at them and relate to them with a new level of compassion and love. We are all so alike yet feel alone much too often.

In holding up his raw and devastating mirror to himself, Neil very bravely sets a high bar for the rest of us.

9 of 10 people found this review helpful

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Mind Blown

I have never read a more real, honest and vulnerable book on relationships than this one. It takes a lot of guts to put this out on the authors part as well as the people in his life.

It's one of the most unique love stories I've come across. I was engaged the whole time.

9 of 10 people found this review helpful

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It Gets Better as you go along

The book had a horrible beginning. Actually I regretted buying the book but after the first couple of hours into the book the story picks up pace and becomes better. Infact I think the book ultimately gave me a better understanding of myself and the people around me so much so that I'm reading the book again.

9 of 10 people found this review helpful

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Cringeworthy but Worth it

While some of the sex party stories made me cringe and wonder "is he just doing this to have a story for the book?" It can't be denied, this is a valuable book.
It often reminded me of concepts I have learned from going through counseling although Neil uses different words, and I learned about new important concepts that I will be processing.
A few years back Neil asked on his blog what books did his readers find to be game changers. My reply was "Bonding" by Donald Joy. The Truth made me wonder if Neil might have read Bonding but I'll never know.
I recommend it but just be forewarned of the graphic sexual content.

8 of 9 people found this review helpful

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Brave

I didn't expect much, but was pleasantly surprised. Neil Strauss is as open and honest as a person can be. I found it refreshing and a great insight into different types of relationships. But really appreciated the work that Neil did on himself and the detailed account of that journey. The Rick Rubin insights were also a welcome and sometimes funny commentary.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Buy it

Entertaining, educational, very well researched, intimate, sexy, funny, sad and very very true...for me.

I loved it and I learned so much. Thanks

5 of 6 people found this review helpful

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  • GT
  • 11-09-15

brilliantly written and performed,

loved the thought provoking dialogue, insight, humor, and journey. an to share with my bf and listen again.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Awesome

Such a personal and intimate documentation of the highest level of evolution. The answer is love.
thank you Neil for sharing your journey.
Roy Heilbron MD
Holistic Cardiology
Mount Sinai Medical Center

2 of 2 people found this review helpful