We Are the Luckiest

The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life

By: Laura McKowen

Narrated by: Laura McKowen

Length: 7 hrs

Publisher's Summary

“We Are the Luckiest is a masterpiece. It’s the truest, most generous, honest, and helpful sobriety memoir I’ve read. It’s going to save lives.” (Glennon Doyle, number-one New York Times best-selling author of Love Warrior: A Memoir)

What could possibly be “lucky” about addiction? Absolutely nothing, thought Laura McKowen when drinking brought her to her knees. As she puts it, she “kicked and screamed . . . wishing for something - anything - else” to be her issue. The people who got to drink normally, she thought, were so damn lucky. 

But in the midst of early sobriety, when no longer able to anesthetize her pain and anxiety, she realized that she was actually the lucky one. Lucky to feel her feelings, live honestly, really be with her daughter, change her legacy. She recognized that “those of us who answer the invitation to wake up, whatever our invitation, are really the luckiest of all.” 

Here, in straight-talking chapters filled with personal stories, McKowen addresses issues such as facing facts, the question of AA, and other people’s drinking. Without sugarcoating the struggles of sobriety, she relentlessly emphasizes the many blessings of an honest life, one without secrets and debilitating shame.

©2020 Laura McKowen (P)2020 New World Library

Influencer Recovery, Part One

Laura McKowan’s new memoir, We Are the Luckiest, is one of two new books related to alcoholism released in sensationalistic fashion for the new year.

Observing the run-up and promotion on social media and online recovery communities, I perused Laura’s website, some blog postings, and her Facebook page, where she maintains a presence consistent with author platform. She seems to have a loyal following in the thousands, though the volume of real engagement is difficult to ascertain. What emerged was a picture of a woman with stable, albeit short-term sobriety (five years) who is carving out a career based on this. With a background in marketing, she offers various workshops ranging from an introductory 90 minute online course and weeks long courses on sobriety and “creativity” to a $4800 master class on writing a book. For many working in this realm of coaching or, I reluctantly use the term, thought leader space, the books they author are intended as a draw to their websites and various click funnels. I awaited the book, hoping for substance; I wanted to see something of value for people struggling with addiction, whether alcohol or other, and regardless of demographic..

Laura writes well, no argument. Her workshopped, expository style is rich in imagery, metaphors, and all the creative writing craft one would expect from someone of her background—working in Boston advertising agencies. That being said, the book is little more than a collection of thematically related blog post/journal entries. Other than a few references to events described earlier in the book, there is no unifying theme or case that she builds to a conclusion. If you’re looking for a how-to book on recovery or anything boldly innovative, this is not that book.

Laura shares her personal perspective on alcohol dependence, entering recovery, challenges in sobriety, and very limited experience with the traditional model of recovery (AA, NA, twelve steps). Her courageous sharing of some of her war stories is de rigueur, almost expected in the recovery world. She resides in an upscale town on Boston’s North Shore, far from the front lines of the addiction crisis both literally and figuratively. Primarily alcohol-focused, this tale of recovery in a bubble is scarcely relevant to the struggles of people in places like rural Ohio, Kentucky, Georgia, Oklahoma or the provinces of Canada. While this is Laura’s reality and her personal bottom, it is nevertheless a marketable version of addiction and recovery.

One valid issue Laura raises is the traditional model’s failings; AA has numerous flaws, and is simply not the right recovery vehicle for many. There is also much it gets right, and someone of Laura’s obvious abilities could have pulled more out of it, had she persisted. An enlightened explanation of the traditional model’s shortcomings, based on the experience of someone who fully engaged the process, would have greater benefit to readers than one-sided criticism. Yes, it’s far from perfect, but tell us how to get something out of it.

Laura has no clinical background, and the only reference to the science of addiction was borrowed from her BFF, Holly Whitaker (whose new book is the subject of Influencer Recovery Part Two). The neurobiology of addiction recovery should be handled in a layperson-friendly manner that takes account of the audience. Absent is the credibility that comes from training and therapeutic work in the field. Laura’s self-made program of recovery seems to consist of abstinence, yoga, readings, and a community of other recovery outliers. Vague references to mentors were made, and more detailed ideas about finding and receiving guidance would be helpful to readers.

To summarize, if you’re looking for authoritative, educated direction and insight into recovery from addiction here, it’s lacking. What this book represents is one individual’s monetization of her self-directed recovery. It offers value to a very small proportion of those attempting recovery from addiction, and that is valid. Everyone should have an individualized program of recovery attuned to their unique needs and circumstances. For a few, this is the shoe that will fit, but to be clear, this is the Kardashian-ification of recovery.

Disclosure: I’m a RN with extensive training and experience in holistic/energy practices, as well as science-based transformation/motivational techniques with 29 years personal recovery, emerging recovery expert and activist, and author of two books on recovery. I read and reviewed this book to keep abreast of developments. I’m sorry this is harsh, but this is recovery, and it’s too important to whitewash. It’s unfortunate that real experts and innovators who offer real solutions to the addiction crisis simply don’t have access to the same types of platform that sensationalists do. KK

What?! Boring.

Whoa?! What is up with all the positive reviews? This was like her reading her rambling whiny journal. So bad. Not sure what the point of the book was.

Expansive, Forward Moving, Gentle

Incredibly tender and sweet renderings of navigating through unknown and tough experiences. Very realistic expectations of the time frames needed to wade through multi-layers of the onion of returning to the self. More validation and appreciation for how much chemical dependency overlaps with relationship dependencies (co-dependency) based on dynamics that got set up in early childhood. I was a big fan of McKowen's blog and both her podcasts previously, and look towards more of books being published. I binged on this title and will hopefully revisit it again for a slower listening a second time.

A Bunch of Blog Posts Smashed Together

I was excited to read this book. I listen to the "Terrible, Thanks for Asking" podcast, which I love, and I bought this book immediately after hearing the author as a guest on the podcast, but I was really disappointed.

I felt like the author was trying to straddle genres, memoir and self-help, and ended up missing the mark on both. Before I get into my review though I want to say that I respect her honesty and bravery in sharing hard, unflattering truths about herself, which she knows will undoubtedly make her the cause for scrutiny. She has a story worth writing, I just don't think she did it justice.

The writing style is amateurish. She does everything students were told not to do in high school English. She uses the second person a lot, asks a lot of questions, and what I found most frustrating, she does not follow the English teacher idiom "don't tell me, show me." She "shows" some, but she "tells" so much it felt like she was just trying to meet a word count. These amateur writing characteristics, and also the fact that she relies on quotes SO HEAVILY it is maddening, are why I feel like this book was better left as a blog.

I understand that for the author she is baring her soul and that these quotes may have had a profound impact on her life, and her struggle, which is why she is sharing them, but it just doesn't lend itself well to a book. There is a reason if a book author quotes another author it is in the dedication page, or foreword, or the page before that, and only one quote. The whole point of a book, and especially a memoir, is for the reader to connect with what the author is saying. Adding in all these quotes of other people muddies the waters a lot, it takes away from the voice of the author. In addition to quotes from poems and famous people, she also tells the reader a lot about "something her friend said" which made me roll my eyes a lot. Listen lady I didn't buy your friend's book, I'm not interested in what your friend said. I think this is another way the author is reverting to an amateurish blog-style type of writing, in which your readers do want to know what your friend said and any quote that has been meaningful to you in your life. A lot of blogs posts start with a quote at the beginning. And it felt like the author was doing that a lot, but not just even at the beginning of every chapter, multiple times throughout each chapter. Referencing quotes is what I am referring to when I say the author relies too much on "telling" and not "showing." She gives a quote, and then waxes poetic on what it means to her for paragraphs and paragraphs. As I said above, to me, this felt like she was just trying to meet a word count.

I also felt that when she was using the second person, speaking directly to her readers, she gave advice as if it was infallible, declarative statements about what will definitely work for you, Dear Reader, which I found irksome. And another example of "telling" and not "showing." Tell the reader your story, and they will decide which aspects of it relate to them.

I was also confused at times listening to the book. It was not told in chronological order, which is understandably very hard to do in memoirs, but there were multiple times when I was confused as to what phase of her recovery she was in when she was providing an anecdote, which is why it was important to know.

SPOILER ALERT:

At the end of the book, she mentions that she has been taking Ambien for five years. The reason I felt this was odd was because it is my understanding of AA that they only consider a person to be "sober" if they are not taking any substances, whatsoever. AA does not believe a sober person can take prescription drugs. I am not saying I have any opinion on that premise, but I was confused as to why she did not address that at all, it was almost a throw-away at the end of the book, while this book was still being written, while she was sober.

Lastly, the amount of detail the author gave throughout the book was inconsistent. She mentions the fact that she once blacked out and left her daughter in a hotel room, her low point, one million times. Which I get, that was her rock bottom. But other than telling the reader she used cocaine and cheated on her husband, there were no details surrounding those events. I feel like either tell the reader about them or don't.

Maybe I didn't like the book because it is not directed at me. I am not an alcoholic or in recovery but alcoholism has touched my life. The book is likely geared towards her blog readers, who do like the blog-style writing, may have a different relationship with alcoholism than I do, and are the reason she got this book deal. But to me, this book does not stand on its own at all. I preferred the book Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife.

Powerful story of recovery and learning self-love

Very well told. A peak behind the curtain detailing the emotional rollercoaster that is recovery. As someone in recovery, I would recommend Laura's story to anyone touched by addiction, especially if you are trying to better understand the struggle of someone you love.

Amazing!!

This is for anyone who wants to expand their life, yes it is about sobriety but the book is full of life lessons! Love!!

Wow! An exceptional memoir

A masterpiece! I’ve read dozens of this genre and have to say this is the only one I listened to/read straight through.

We Are The Luckiest

This book is fantastic… As he Author states at the beginning we all have a “Thing”. weather or not your thing is sobriety this book is worth reading!! I highly recommend it... :)

A Gem & a Keeper

What a gift and absolute joy this book is!!! I am always blown away by people who are so giving and honest. This book is sure to help and inspire absolutely anyone who cares to grow in any sort of spiritual capacity. Laura gives words to questions and struggles that most people have faced in one way or another in their lives. I love that she has been able to use her gift both to help herself and others. Anyone who would have the opportunity to work with her on a deeper level is sure to have a transformational experience. She has gained a true fan right here!!! Her work is both inspirational and significant, especially when we need people like Laura to show all of us new & fresh perspectives on issues, struggles and problems that everyone faces. I loved listening to 'We are the Luckiest' on Audible and also ordered the hard copy. I can't wait to share it with my friends. Chapter Lucky #13 is my favorite and is such a fresh perspective when dealing with making life changes in order to better ourselves. Thank you, Laura!!! So articulate & lovely! I feel Lucky to have read this book!

This book will save lives.

This book will save lives. Bravo 👏 Laura, your honesty will touch all who read or listen to this! ❤️

fabulous

loved this book, didn't want it to end. Honest and insightful. Made me cry and laugh in even measures

An inspiring, honest, authentic story of recovery

Laura McKowen has been inside my head! I identified so much with her writing. It's gripping, the way she writes is so visceral, you can almost feel it. She offers a roadmap for finding your way through not just sobriety but finding a better life for yourself. A truly lovely narration by the author; the nuance in her voice is quite moving at times.

Brilliant and inspiring

A must read for anyone questioning their relationship with alchohol. Accessible and informative with the right balance of personal experience and references to other reading and research. I really enjoyed listening to the audio book.

life changing

i preordered this book after listening to the authors interview with annie grace. it brought me to tears the depth i could relate to this woman and her story. The writing is engaging and the naration is incredibly personal. You can feel every word. What an inspiration to anybody struggling with addiction or on a path of aelf discovery. Thank you. We are the luckiest!

Beautiful, moving and salutary

I have read lots of self-help, spiritual, psychology, quit lot books but few are as beautifully written. Laura’s account is deftly crafted and resonant, not just for anyone ‘sober curious’ but for anyone feeling a sense of not quite connecting with themselves, of living outside of the life they can achieve. I was moved to tears several times, have at least two new reads lined up from her quotes and feel a genuine sense closer to myself having listened to this. Because it is read by the author the authenticity shines through the narration - a gift of a book.

A brutally honest account

A raw account of living a life with a secret love, Laura describes how alcohol sucks her freedom and relationships away from her and how she claws her life back to own it completely. I didn’t want to stop listening.

More than just a book about sobriety

I'm amazed at the courage and honesty of Laura McKowen dont know how I stumbled across her but I'm glad I did. This book has not only made me address my drinking but also look at others areas of my life.. this has had a huge impact on me. So many people will benefit for Laura McKowen getting sober..

Could not recommend this enough 😊

This book is a gift, that needs to be shared. Thank you for sharing your incredible journey Laura ❤️

The most amazing read!

An honest and inspiring story that I’m sure will touch and change many lives, thank you.

Disappointing!

Sorry to say I did not like this audio book. I found the author’s voice very difficult to listen to, drowned in a self pitying tone. The title was misleading, I thought the book would be more positive and upbeat!