Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy

Why Women Settle for One-Sided Relationships

By: Jill P. Weber

Narrated by: Barbara Colvin

Length: 8 hrs and 35 mins

Publisher's summary

Finding lasting love and intimacy can be difficult for many women. Some end up agreeing to sexual relationships hoping that they may lead to longer, more fulfilling relationships, only to be let down when they don't.

Here, Jill Weber explains why women feel forced into a male model of dating that barters sex for the unrealistic hope that it will lead to emotional intimacy. What it leads to for the woman, most often, is disappointment, despair, and impaired self-esteem. "Sextimacy", as Weber terms it, traps women in relationships that are one-sided and lack emotional intimacy. When this happens, women routinely blame themselves instead of realizing they should blame their romantic strategy.

This audiobook, in a step-by-step progression, shows a better way to break the cycle and cultivating better relationships. It teaches women how to recognize when they are in a Sextimacy event as opposed to the beginning of a mutually fulfilling relationship that won't leave them racked with morning-after regrets. And it gives clear direction about what women can do to find warm romantic partnerships that serve their needs.

Using real stories from women of various ages and stages of life, Weber shows how patterns of behavior may develop that produce a vulnerability to being used. Starting in childhood and proceeding through the crucial teen years, she illustrates the factors that may go into this limited approach to cultivating romantic relationships, and provides clear tips on how to stop. Including a series of self-assessments, the audiobook offers women insight into the patterns that rob them of the opportunities to grow and to fulfill their emotional needs. Anyone struggling to break the cycle of having sex without the attendant intimacy they crave will find in this audio a warm and ready approach to finding love and fulfillment.

©2013 Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc. (P)2014 Redwood Audiobooks

Critic reviews

"Most sexually active females will see themselves or someone they know in this compassionate and helpful book. Recommended." (Library Journal)

"Jill Weber has written an engaging and thought-provoking book that will stimulate many women to ponder their relationships with men and with their own bodies." (Karen Prager, The University of Texas at Dallas)

Really Helpful

Though this book relies on some at times essentializing views of what women versus men want, I still found this to be really really helpful. I've been reading a lot around this topic of casual sex culture and I think it's powerful to read someone pointing out that in many ways, casual sex culture serves the goals of men (read toxic masculinity). This book really helped me move beyond a casual sex phase into a more emotionally satisfying relational mode.

Excellent eye opening book

I’m a counselor and I found this book to be incredibly useful and it was well written. The audible version was delightful and I now highly recommend it for counselors or heterosexual women who are having relationship difficulties and have sex but who deep down yearn for emotional intimacy with a man. I have referred this book to a few others who have since told me how much they enjoyed it. This is a wonderful book. I highly recommend it.

Must read!

This book had helped in so many ways! I've actually met a great guy since adjusting some of my behaviors and letting things build slowly!