Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl

Narrated by: Lucy Price-Lewis
Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (448 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Are you the Fallback Girl? If you've ever found yourself in a relationship that feels and seemingly looks like one, but you're struggling with commitment, or you've been in the ambiguous territory of a "casual relationship", you've likely tried to change them, wondered what you did to cause this, what you can do to win their love and commitment, or even whether you're going crazy.

Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl is the definitive guide to understanding the relationship between emotionally unavailable men and the women who love them. From explaining how and why they blow hot and cold to where that future they promised went to, how you've ended up being a booty call, why you've been together for a gazillion years but aren't going anywhere, and more importantly how and why you're involved with them in the first place, all of the answers are here.

You know you're dealing with unavailability when you ask stuff like: What happened to that great guy from the beginning? Why won't he break up or stay away if he doesn't want to commit? What the hell did I do to make him disappear? Is he going to leave her for me? It's because he's shy/busy/scared of his feelings, isn't it? Inspired by the real-life adventures in unavailability of Natalie Lue and the readers of her site, BaggageReclaim.com.

Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl is an empowering, entertaining, and inspiring read that will wise you up to pitfalls such as men who aren't over their exes, Future Fakers, guys who have more baggage than a Heathrow terminal, and reappearing childhood sweethearts. If you want to understand your own availability and why commitment in a healthy relationship is eluding you, Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl is your guide to being available and attracted to healthy, available partners.

Back in the summer of 2005, Natalie Lue was a single advertising executive wondering out loud on her blog why she had a penchant for unavailable men. Using her site, BaggageReclaim.com, to answer that question while transforming her life, her blog has become a go-to source for understanding emotional unavailability, commitment, dating, relationships and self-esteem while inspiring many thousands of people to change their own relationship habits.

©2011 Natalie Lue (P)2015 Audible, Ltd

What listeners say about Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl

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An unavailable, fall back's girl momentary realizations verbalized

This book was, for me, the streaming verbalization of the momentary realizations that passed through my mind many times through my focus on self discovery. No, she's not a scientist, nor does she claim to be. This isn't some scientific study on why some people end up in crappy relationships. This is a streaming reminder that your life is your main focus, that you can actually be the problem, but that it's part of learning how to bring happiness to yourself. I'm fortunate to live a life that is dictated by my own wishes and wants, and listening to this book solidified how fortunate I am to have the opportunity to look for, and want, and only accept quality. There are many wolves in sheep clothing, but being the one to try to shave it off is a waste of time. Take the book for what it is - a reminder to you in a time when you may be struggling like I am to assert your self esteem and be ok with having that power. I'm a fixer. If you're a fixer, just try it, you can always return it, but personally, I already know I will be listening to this the second I fall back into my cycle of self sabotage.

Thank you Natalie for just being honest and realistic, and not a male basher.

11 people found this helpful

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100% Yes.

If you're even looking at this review, answer is yes, definitely buy the book. It is fantastic! More amazingness than I can even begin to tell you.

6 people found this helpful

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Fallback Girl in recovery

I will listen to this book on repeat until I get Mr Unavailable out of my head and until I fix what's broken in myself.

12 people found this helpful

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Better to buy physical copy

I think this would have been a better book to buy a physical copy. It felt like there were so many lists and bullet points but the information was all so similar it was hard to disseminate her points.

Also felt like the last chapter (about 1/10th of the book) contained the most important information and the rest just drone on and on.

4 people found this helpful

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I think I need the follow up book

I came to this book with pretty good knowledge that I was a fall back girl and it was my own responsibility and in order to move to healthy relationships I needed more information. This book definitely helped me erase any of my inner flip-flopping or desire to distract myself from the reality of things by trying to fix others or buffer or be buffered. I need to go back through it one more time and peel out the reconstruction of life parts. The descriptions over-layered for me and my experiences and that was reassuring creating a readiness to deepen my self esteem and use my fix-it energies in healthy ways that don't include relationship. I'm sure a healthy relationship is work of it's own but I can imagine with two people having the same goal and skills it's got to be easier and less drama and chaos filled than what I've done so far.
The performance was good I just took a while to acclimate to the accent and I wish I'd known the cultural references weren't American. It's all good, it just takes an inner moment of conversion and with so much covered that effects me deeply I feel I'll need to go through it again and take notes.

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A brilliant book

I have always attracted unavailable men. I know I'm also emotionally unavailable, mainly from all the pain I have experienced from these kind of men.
This book is so motivational, I'm going to listen to it again. Anytime I fall off the wagon or feel weak, I will listen to this book. What an eye-opener.

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Brutal

Wow ..... Lucy has zero tolerance with the human condition! But I loved it! You can't help but find your behavior and the behaviors of the men you surround yourself with. This book pulled my head out of my ass. I will listen to this numerous times.

3 people found this helpful

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nothing like I thought it would be.

more of a personal experience and not how to avoid the relationships like this. not what I expected.

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a helpful final chapter

The bulk of the book is repetitive and the helpful last chapter is full of brief listing of helpful ideas. The final chapter should have been more extensive and detailed making up the bulk of the book instead. The narration is of good quality.

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The best read ever!

I knew instinctively that I was this fallback girl that Natalie writes about in this book. It was validated here. Just knowing that I was not alone on the journey brought me comfort and an assurance that I too could win again in my relationships. #NEVERAGAINTHEFALLBACK

2 people found this helpful

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  • Simone
  • 10-29-15

A Must

This is a very good book, it explains all the mistakes and attempts we women make when we are in love with Mr Unavailable and with Mr Available as well.
The book is indeed repetitive but I particularly liked the repetition of the concept of why we fall for Mr Unavailable so by the end of the listening we do get the concept.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Michelle Robert
  • 10-15-19

A must read

I just broke up with a guy n this book could not have come at a better time. All single women have to read this book. Though very repetitive, I needed to hear the repetition to stop me from crawling back to him. It helped to listen to this book daily. N though u might think there is nothing more to learn after a few chapters, trust me, more n more light bulb moments will occur! New and brilliant ideas will be revealed to you in every chapter. The last chapter is so so useful. I will just listen to the last chapter every now and then to keep me grounded. Author needs to reorganise the book n keep it succinct. Narrator did a fantastic job in keeping me engaged! Thank you so much for that!! I hope the author will write a book teaching us in detail how to love ourselves more than the men in our lives. Thank you for this useful book.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Clare Duke
  • 07-08-16

Wonderful Self Help Book

What made the experience of listening to Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl the most enjoyable?

The narration was perfect. Funny, forceful and very real. The content of the entire book keeps you listening, laughing and identifying with your own behaviours.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl?

This book has eureka moments throughout every chapter. It's not possible to pick up one particular phrase or topic.

Which character – as performed by Lucy Price-Lewis – was your favourite?

There were no characters other than Mr Unavailable who was brilliantly described and the Fall Back girl was also beautifully captured.

Any additional comments?

Read this book if you have ever wasted your time on a man who is just not available and in the words of the book is offering you crumbs.

2 people found this helpful

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  • sian
  • 07-07-16

Wow

What an inspirational book. Well done Natalie thanks for sharing.

Everyone who's wondered "why me" should read this. 10 out of 10

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  • London
  • 04-01-19

Brilliant

Natalie Lue is fantastic. This book is full of down to earth wisdom and truth, that is sometimes difficult to hear..... but very necessary if we are to move forward and get out of our own way.

If you are looking for a comfort blanket to maintain your victim mentality....... this book is not for you. However, buy it if you want the truth along with the wisdom to change the only person you can change...... YOU!

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  • Lesley
  • 01-20-20

really good read

I wasnt looking for this book it found me, a must read for any woman, very informative & helpful

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  • A Customer
  • 01-16-20

Scarily accurate

Think this book has started a life changing domino effect in my life. It’s like she was with me during my last relationship (and the one before that and the one before that). I knew there was a pattern but until now was unaware and belligerently in denial about it. Incredible book. Repetitive but it needs to be in order to drive home the point. At times a hard listen because you have to face up to some home truths.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 09-09-17

very useful

very useful. i listened to it many times.will practice it as much as i can

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  • Chloe
  • 09-28-16

Life Changing.

THIS BOOK IS GOLD. After professionally counselling, every attempt to make it work, and hundreds of hours spent analysing my relationship (let's not mention the Goggling!), I was finally able to truly see the problem with my relationship: my man is 'emotionally unavailable'.

If you - or any of your girlfriends - keep (and keep and keep) going back to a relationship with an unavailable man (or like me, consistently choose this type) this could change your life! The author encourages you to look at your own behaviour, self-esteem, values and boundaries (who knew you'd sacrificed them all to win his love?) There are also soo many examples of unavailable men, supported with explanations of WHY they're like that - and why you put up with it. This means you can stop over-analysing! When you see that your situation is NOT unique (it's eerily cookie-cutter to thousands of others in the same boat with the same men), you can cease making excuses for them. Coming to understand your own part in this dynamic will help you to kick your bad habits and finally get on the course to happiness - with the RIGHT GUY.

If you want to stop clinging to old memories of how perfect they were in the beginning, move past obsessively wondering what you can do to get back to that place (where they were so nice and promised the world), and actually get on with living your life, get this book!

Thank you, Natalie :) xx

2 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 04-18-19

Listened 4 times till it sank in!

First listening I was squirming with discomfort because i was in a lot of denial. 2nd listening I began to pay attention. 3 rd listening i looked for faults in what was being said but failed to find much at all ( perhaps a tendency to generalise that wasn't qualified adequately i thought) 4th listening i accepted the difficult realisation that i had a lot of changing to do to regain a sense of myself and to achieve for the first time in my life an ability to love myself in a healthy way and avoid being sucked in by mr Unavailable. Thank you Natalie Lue for your tough love!