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Publisher's Summary

Are you the Fallback Girl? If you've ever found yourself in a relationship that feels and seemingly looks like one, but you're struggling with commitment, or you've been in the ambiguous territory of a "casual relationship", you've likely tried to change them, wondered what you did to cause this, what you can do to win their love and commitment, or even whether you're going crazy.

Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl is the definitive guide to understanding the relationship between emotionally unavailable men and the women who love them. From explaining how and why they blow hot and cold to where that future they promised went to, how you've ended up being a booty call, why you've been together for a gazillion years but aren't going anywhere, and more importantly how and why you're involved with them in the first place, all of the answers are here.

You know you're dealing with unavailability when you ask stuff like: What happened to that great guy from the beginning? Why won't he break up or stay away if he doesn't want to commit? What the hell did I do to make him disappear? Is he going to leave her for me? It's because he's shy/busy/scared of his feelings, isn't it? Inspired by the real-life adventures in unavailability of Natalie Lue and the readers of her site, BaggageReclaim.com.

Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl is an empowering, entertaining, and inspiring read that will wise you up to pitfalls such as men who aren't over their exes, Future Fakers, guys who have more baggage than a Heathrow terminal, and reappearing childhood sweethearts. If you want to understand your own availability and why commitment in a healthy relationship is eluding you, Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl is your guide to being available and attracted to healthy, available partners.

Back in the summer of 2005, Natalie Lue was a single advertising executive wondering out loud on her blog why she had a penchant for unavailable men. Using her site, BaggageReclaim.com, to answer that question while transforming her life, her blog has become a go-to source for understanding emotional unavailability, commitment, dating, relationships and self-esteem while inspiring many thousands of people to change their own relationship habits.

©2011 Natalie Lue (P)2015 Audible, Ltd

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

An unavailable, fall back's girl momentary realizations verbalized

This book was, for me, the streaming verbalization of the momentary realizations that passed through my mind many times through my focus on self discovery. No, she's not a scientist, nor does she claim to be. This isn't some scientific study on why some people end up in crappy relationships. This is a streaming reminder that your life is your main focus, that you can actually be the problem, but that it's part of learning how to bring happiness to yourself. I'm fortunate to live a life that is dictated by my own wishes and wants, and listening to this book solidified how fortunate I am to have the opportunity to look for, and want, and only accept quality. There are many wolves in sheep clothing, but being the one to try to shave it off is a waste of time. Take the book for what it is - a reminder to you in a time when you may be struggling like I am to assert your self esteem and be ok with having that power. I'm a fixer. If you're a fixer, just try it, you can always return it, but personally, I already know I will be listening to this the second I fall back into my cycle of self sabotage.

Thank you Natalie for just being honest and realistic, and not a male basher.

8 of 8 people found this review helpful

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Fallback Girl in recovery

I will listen to this book on repeat until I get Mr Unavailable out of my head and until I fix what's broken in myself.

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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100% Yes.

If you're even looking at this review, answer is yes, definitely buy the book. It is fantastic! More amazingness than I can even begin to tell you.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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A brilliant book

I have always attracted unavailable men. I know I'm also emotionally unavailable, mainly from all the pain I have experienced from these kind of men.
This book is so motivational, I'm going to listen to it again. Anytime I fall off the wagon or feel weak, I will listen to this book. What an eye-opener.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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I think I need the follow up book

I came to this book with pretty good knowledge that I was a fall back girl and it was my own responsibility and in order to move to healthy relationships I needed more information. This book definitely helped me erase any of my inner flip-flopping or desire to distract myself from the reality of things by trying to fix others or buffer or be buffered. I need to go back through it one more time and peel out the reconstruction of life parts. The descriptions over-layered for me and my experiences and that was reassuring creating a readiness to deepen my self esteem and use my fix-it energies in healthy ways that don't include relationship. I'm sure a healthy relationship is work of it's own but I can imagine with two people having the same goal and skills it's got to be easier and less drama and chaos filled than what I've done so far.
The performance was good I just took a while to acclimate to the accent and I wish I'd known the cultural references weren't American. It's all good, it just takes an inner moment of conversion and with so much covered that effects me deeply I feel I'll need to go through it again and take notes.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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great book full of ah ha moments

love the bluntness and practical advice. super helpful! it would even be better if the Web address for the get out of stuck pdf worked and if there were workbooks for more parts of the book.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Finding answers...

This book was so insightful. I have listened to it slowly over the course of my breakup and makeup and breakup again with the same person. I have finally found that not loving myself and respecting myself enough was allowing the wrong person to continually put their hooks back in me. I got answers to questions I didn't even know I had. Everything the author wrote, I could relate to so well. It made me feel like I wasn't the only one who has ever been in this kind of unavailable relationship. Nights when I felt so sad and alone, I would listen to the book and my tears dried, and I felt like everything would be ok. It helped me understand why things went wrong and my part in them as well. Great insightful book! Thank you for your words of healing.

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

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Brutal

Wow ..... Lucy has zero tolerance with the human condition! But I loved it! You can't help but find your behavior and the behaviors of the men you surround yourself with. This book pulled my head out of my ass. I will listen to this numerous times.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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The best read ever!

I knew instinctively that I was this fallback girl that Natalie writes about in this book. It was validated here. Just knowing that I was not alone on the journey brought me comfort and an assurance that I too could win again in my relationships. #NEVERAGAINTHEFALLBACK

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Amazing!!!

I don't hype up many books and have plenty which I can't even finish reading or listen/ pay attention too. I CANNOT stop listening to this. I am so much more clear headed already. I plan to listen all over again once I'm done!

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Simone
  • 10-29-15

A Must

This is a very good book, it explains all the mistakes and attempts we women make when we are in love with Mr Unavailable and with Mr Available as well.
The book is indeed repetitive but I particularly liked the repetition of the concept of why we fall for Mr Unavailable so by the end of the listening we do get the concept.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Clare Duke
  • 07-08-16

Wonderful Self Help Book

What made the experience of listening to Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl the most enjoyable?

The narration was perfect. Funny, forceful and very real. The content of the entire book keeps you listening, laughing and identifying with your own behaviours.

What was one of the most memorable moments of Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl?

This book has eureka moments throughout every chapter. It's not possible to pick up one particular phrase or topic.

Which character – as performed by Lucy Price-Lewis – was your favourite?

There were no characters other than Mr Unavailable who was brilliantly described and the Fall Back girl was also beautifully captured.

Any additional comments?

Read this book if you have ever wasted your time on a man who is just not available and in the words of the book is offering you crumbs.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • sian
  • 07-07-16

Wow

What an inspirational book. Well done Natalie thanks for sharing.

Everyone who's wondered "why me" should read this. 10 out of 10

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 09-09-17

very useful

very useful. i listened to it many times.will practice it as much as i can

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  • Chloe
  • 09-28-16

Life Changing.

THIS BOOK IS GOLD. After professionally counselling, every attempt to make it work, and hundreds of hours spent analysing my relationship (let's not mention the Goggling!), I was finally able to truly see the problem with my relationship: my man is 'emotionally unavailable'.

If you - or any of your girlfriends - keep (and keep and keep) going back to a relationship with an unavailable man (or like me, consistently choose this type) this could change your life! The author encourages you to look at your own behaviour, self-esteem, values and boundaries (who knew you'd sacrificed them all to win his love?) There are also soo many examples of unavailable men, supported with explanations of WHY they're like that - and why you put up with it. This means you can stop over-analysing! When you see that your situation is NOT unique (it's eerily cookie-cutter to thousands of others in the same boat with the same men), you can cease making excuses for them. Coming to understand your own part in this dynamic will help you to kick your bad habits and finally get on the course to happiness - with the RIGHT GUY.

If you want to stop clinging to old memories of how perfect they were in the beginning, move past obsessively wondering what you can do to get back to that place (where they were so nice and promised the world), and actually get on with living your life, get this book!

Thank you, Natalie :) xx

1 of 1 people found this review helpful