Your audiobook is waiting…

Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman's Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse

Narrated by: Natalie Hoffman
Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
5 out of 5 stars (13 ratings)

$14.95/month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

OR
In Cart

Publisher's Summary

Do any of the following quotes sound like you?

“Why do concerns I bring up never seem to be resolved? Why do I feel like Charlie Brown, flat on his back from having the football snatched away? Why, when I bring up a concern, do I always end up justifying my existence or being the one to apologize? How do things seem to get turned around on me?”

“I feel like I walk on eggshells, and I’m scared of his reactions to grievances I express, so I keep them to myself.” 

“I knew something was off for years but didn’t know what it was exactly. I knew that we were different - I would hear of other husbands supporting their wives in pursuing their dreams and be absolutely blown away. I would hear of husbands encouraging their wives to go out with friends and not be able to relate at all. I would hear of decisions being made mutually and not understand how that even looked.” 

“I remember as a young wife thinking, ‘Is this normal? Does everyone feel this way? Maybe this is why old wives seem bitter?’ It wasn’t until year seven that I finally acknowledged something was wrong, and there wasn’t anything I could change to make it better. It was years 15 to 24 that I became unsure of reality and questioned my sanity.”

“He always apologizes after looking at porn or after blowing up at me or the kids. But nothing ever changes. And he gets mad if we don’t ‘forgive and forget.’”

“He was a mechanic by trade, yet I was afraid to tell him whenever the car was acting up or making a noise. He would tell me he didn’t want me putting miles on my car, so I would tell friends ‘no’ anytime they wanted me to come see them. I acted like a little kid afraid to ask permission to do stuff.”

“Nobody yells ‘Emergency! Call 911!’ or ‘Divorce!’ with all those tiny little ‘Hmmmm, that’s-a-bit-off?’ moments or maybe the ‘Ouch! He hurt me!’ scenes or the ‘What the heck was THAT all about?’ confusing moments that pile up over a period of years. All those tiny little pieces of the puzzle are things you just toss out with the trash because you’re too forgiving, too patient, too loving, too empathetic, too kind, too giving, too enamored with him - until you start to secretly collect them and put the real pieces of the puzzle (the truth) together and see a much clearer picture.”

One out of three married women sitting in an average conservative Christian church is in a confusing and painful marriage relationship. These women believe they are alone. I want them to know they aren't. They believe they can't find peace. I want them to know they can. They believe they don't have choices. I want them to know they do.

©2018 Natalie Hoffman (P)2019 Natalie Hoffman

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    12
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0

Performance

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    11
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0

Story

  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    11
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Empowering Christian Women in Abusive Marriages

I have had many Christian marriage books over the years. I remember standing at my full bookshelf at all of these books and not one of them addressed the issues I was facing. The vast majority of them put the blame on the wife while "encouraging" her to be more, do more, etc. as if she was the sole person responsible for the marriage and if she only did ___ then she would have an amazing marriage and loving caring husband. ALL of these books are destructive to women in abusive marriages and can put the woman at risk for great harm. I got rid of every single Christian marriage book in my bookcase.

I am so thankful for Natalie Hoffman and her willingness to pinpoint what is happening in abusive marriages. She takes the incredible confusion women in abusive marriages has and writes a clear path to define it. She takes Christian women through the process of identifying what is happening, giving the confusing abusive behavior names, helps to clear the confusion and empowers Christian women to take a stand against the abuse. Natalie also identifies spiritual abuse, gives examples and brings life giving scripture to dispel the destructive misused scripture. This book is a MUST READ for Christian women who are steeped in confusion knowing something is wrong in their marriage but they can't figure it out, traditional marriage books do not apply to her marriage and who is a shell of themselves as the person they were before the marriage is a faint memory. There is hope and healing in this book.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Waking Up to Hidden Dysfunction

The endless, foggy swirl of self-blame and confusion — that’s what Natalie’s book helped me identify and push through. I’ve said it before and want to shout it again to other women who are silently suffering. If you’re not sure if this book is for you, it’s for you! It’s a bonus that her speaking voice is warm, relatable, and well-paced. She feels like a real friend over a cup of coffee, walking with you through the hurt she knows so well.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

At last!

Natalie’s description of emotional and spiritual is spot on and very helpful. I love hearing books read by the author, and Natalie does not disappoint. The audio is clear, the enunciation crisp, and provides an overall enriching experience.

Thank you Natalie!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Gigi
  • Woodinville, WA, United States
  • 07-19-19

Deja Vu

I found myself feeling like I was reading my own journal as I listened to the stories and advice in this book. I’m in the middle of my own story of abuse and this book has been so helpful. Great resources listed. I have read most of them in my journey. I will recommend this to many women who need to know they are not alone.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Is It Me..Natalie Hoffman

Genuine, authentic, hard topic to address, exceptionally well done..highly recommend! Thank you Natalie for sharing 💜

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Is Your Marriage Hurting? Don't Miss This Book!

Natalie nails it in this powerful book, exposing the fallout of flawed theology to maintain power and control over women, shedding light on the path to healing after abuse, and bringing hope to those who have experienced hell in the name of Christian marriage.

If you're in a marriage that seems to have more than its share of drama and difficulty, and no matter what you've tried it just never seems to get better -- you may be suffering from hidden abuse. God wants to offer you healing and hope, and that's just what "Is It Me?" will bring.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

A must listen to book for sure!! 5++++ stars♥️

The information given in this book is so invaluable & lifesaving!! The author has such a bright, soothing & pleasant voice which makes listening to the book even better.
The author has lots of experience & is highly knowledgeable about the topic of hidden emotional & spiritual abuse. The author helped me make huge changes in my life that are saving my sanity & my life. I highly recommend listening to this book. If this book doesn’t apply to you or your marriage i still really encourage you to listen because odds are there is a least 1 person you know who is going through this & you can gain knowledge of what your friend may be enduring & have a better understanding on how to love on, encourage or walk with a friend who might be going through painful a hidden abuse.