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A Girl's Guide to Vampires
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
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Publisher's summary
Joy Randall's Top-five tips for vampire hunters:
- Location, location, location. Vampires won't be caught dead (ha!) in places like discos, 10-minute lube shops, or Switzerland. Remember, if you wouldn't be there, neither would a bloodsucker.
- Trust your eyes. You know the handsome, annoyingly arrogant, self-assured man in the shadows with long hair and a cleft in his chin? He's your vampire.
- No matter how tempting it might be, do not "accidentally" acquire a paper cut on your finger and suggest your vampire kiss it to make it better.
- Play it cool. Don't offer to accompany your prince of the night on the talk-show circuit, and whatever you do, don't offer him your heart!
- Most of all, remember: being a vampire is nothing to laugh about.
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Lissianna has been spending her centuries pining for Mr. Right, not just a quick snack, and this sexy guy she finds in her bed looks like he might be a candidate. But there's another, more pressing issue: her tendency to faint at the sight of blood . . . an especially annoying quirk for a vampire. Of course it doesn't hurt that this man has a delicious-looking neck. What kind of cold-blooded vampire woman could resist a bite of that?
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AVOID THIS NARRATOR ! ! !
- By Karen on 04-28-10
By: Lynsay Sands
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The Accidental Werewolf
- Accidentally Friends, Book 1
- By: Dakota Cassidy
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Marty Andrews gets bitten by a mangy mutt while walking her teacup poodle, her blond hair darkens, the hair on her legs starts growing at an alarming rate, and her mood swings put her dream job as a sales rep for Bobbie-Sue Cosmetics in serious jeopardy. Then a drool-worthy man shows up at her door claiming that he accidentally bit Marty. And since he's a werewolf, she is now, too. Thinking Keegan Flaherty is clearly insane, Marty refuses to believe a word until a kidnapping makes her realize there's more at stake than just her highlights.
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Too much sex
- By CrunchySocks on 03-17-15
By: Dakota Cassidy
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Knight of a Trillion Stars
- Matrix of Destiny, Book 1
- By: Dara Joy
- Narrated by: Rebecca Cook
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Fired from her job and exhausted from her miserable commute, the last thing Deana Jones needs when she gets home is to find an alien in her living room. But how else to explain the man who claims he is from beyond the stars? He says his name is Lorgin and that she is part of his celestial destiny. Deana thinks his reasoning is ridiculous, and she knows he's making an error of cosmic proportions. But his touch is electric, and Deana starts to wonder if maybe their passion isn't written in the stars....
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Don't judge it by the cover!
- By bluebelle on 04-22-11
By: Dara Joy
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Possessive Alpha Wolf
- A Paranormal Shifter Romance (Demon Hollowers Motorcycle Club, Book 1)
- By: Skye Wilson, Lindsey Devin
- Narrated by: Allie Martina, Jack Calihan
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I’m the guy you don’t want to meet in a dark alley. And that’s just my human side - my wolf is so untamed and dangerous even supernaturals fear me. I’m known for my ability to hunt and kill. It doesn’t matter to me that my next assignment is a small-town schoolteacher. I don’t ask questions. Then I see Serene for the first time. The wolf in me knows immediately she’s my mate, and I’m not going to let anyone else touch her. Except with a contract out on her life, if I don’t kill her, someone else will.
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Great Series Start and I Want More!
- By Gigi on 02-02-22
By: Skye Wilson, and others
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Hell on Wheels
- Black Knights Inc., Book 1
- By: Julie Ann Walker
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Ex-Marine Nate "Ghost" Weller is an expert at keeping his cool - and his distance - which makes him one hell of a sniper. It's also how he keeps his feelings for Ali Morgan in check. Sweet, sexy Ali has always revved his engine, but she's his best friend's baby sister ... and totally off limits. Ali's never seen anything sexier than Nate Weller straddling his custom Harley - or the flash of danger in his eyes when she tells him she's in trouble. First, something happened to her brother, and now she's become the target of a nasty organization.
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Bad Narrator-Good Story.
- By Kindle Customer on 10-05-12
By: Julie Ann Walker
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Blood Ties Book One
- The Turning
- By: Jennifer Armintrout
- Narrated by: Elenna Stauffer
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I'm no coward. I want to make that perfectly clear. But after my life turned into a horror movie, I take fear a lot more seriously now. I finally became Dr. Carrie Ames just eight months ago. Then I was attacked in the hospital morgue by a vampire. Just my luck.
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if you love 'bodice ripper novels'...
- By Victoria on 11-03-08
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A Hidden Fire
- Elemental Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Elizabeth Hunter
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
No secret stays hidden forever. A phone call from an old friend sets mysterious book researcher Giovanni Vecchio back on the path of a mystery that has eluded him for centuries. Little does he suspect a young librarian holds the key to an ancient secret, nor could he expect the danger Beatrice De Novo would attract. Now both will follow a twisted maze leading from the archives of a university library, through the fires of Renaissance Florence, and toward a passion that could destroy them both.
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What's happened to Dina Pearlman?
- By bluestatereader on 04-03-14
By: Elizabeth Hunter
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Building from Ashes
- Elemental World, Book 1
- By: Elizabeth Hunter
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 14 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In a world teetering on the edge of change, two beings struggle to find their purpose. Will their paths lead them closer together or tear their worlds apart? For a thousand years, powerful earth vampire Carwyn ap Bryn has served others. God. His family. His friends. But tragedy and loss disrupt his peaceful existence, causing him to question everything he has committed his eternity to.
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G-rated, Christian paranormal suspense
- By tina on 02-01-14
By: Elizabeth Hunter
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Deep Desire
- Deep, Book 1
- By: Z. A. Maxfield
- Narrated by: Caleb Dickenson
- Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As the Indiana Jones of historical erotica, there is no document existing - or just rumored to exist - Adin Tredeger can't unearth. Why he would risk the biggest coup of his career to join the mile-high club is beyond him. But the disarming, dark-eyed man who somehow enters Adin's locked airplane washroom has him completely nude and coming apart. All without a whimper of protest.
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Better in audio format
- By Kathleen on 10-07-15
By: Z. A. Maxfield
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Secrets
- The Guardian Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Liz Schulte
- Narrated by: Gabriel Vaughan, Piper Goodeve
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
While Olivia Martin observed life through her camera, the Abyss gazed back at her. She discovers mysterious men follow her around, people close to her are dying, and her dreams are no longer her own as she falls head over heels for a perfect stranger. A chance encounter leads to an obsession that could destroy everything she has ever known or loved. Olivia is about to find out there is a lot she doesn't know and sometimes what you don't know can kill you.
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This is an odd duck.
- By bluestatereader on 07-19-14
By: Liz Schulte
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Sweet romance, interesting plot
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Doesn’t meet the potential
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Cliché after cliché and lack of creativity
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Lakota and Melody
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Darkly, Madly Duet
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A dark and twisted maze awaits criminal psychologist London Noble when she falls for her patient, convicted serial killer, Grayson Pierce Sullivan. As she unravels the traps, her sanity tested with each game, she's forced to acknowledge the true evil in the world around her. A buried past is unearthed, and Grayson Sullivan - AKA The Angel of Maine - retaliates against the system who made him, deploying psychological warfare on the woman who initially set him free.
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complete mind explosion
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A Deal with the Elf King (Dramatized Adaptation)
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Best Version Yet!
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Challenge
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Camden Harris, the famously hot, hulk of a footballer is laid up in a London hospital. But his busted knee doesn't stop him from running his well-practiced game on Indie Porter - his redheaded spitfire of a doctor. She's not his type, not even close. But she could be the perfect distraction from the soul-crushing damage this injury could cost him.
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loved the narration, hated the story
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Heart of Silk and Shadows
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A Heartbreaking and Necessary Novella
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Okay once past the barely legal and baby focus
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Built
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OMG I LOVED LOVED LOVED THIS BOOK
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RoomHate
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Sharing a summer house with a hot-as-hell roommate should be a dream come true, right? Not when it’s Justin…the only person I’d ever loved…who now hates me. When my grandmother died and left me half of the house on Aquidneck Island, there was a catch: the other half would go to the boy she helped raise. The same boy who turned into the teenager whose heart I broke years ago.
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GOOD STORY AND NARRATION BUT BE FORWARNED
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Troublemaker
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For Morgan Yancy, an operative and team leader in a paramilitary group, nothing comes before his job. But when he’s ambushed and almost killed, his supervisor is determined to find out who’s after the members of his elite squad—and why. Due to worries that this unknown enemy will strike again, Morgan is sent to a remote location and told to lay low and stay vigilant. But between a tempting housemate he’s determined to protect and a deadly threat waiting in the shadows, keeping under the radar is proving to be his most dangerous mission yet.
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Who wrote this?
- By Kiffyb23 on 05-16-16
By: Linda Howard
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Killian
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The Beast had Belle. Killian Black has me. How I got here doesn’t matter, even though he says it does. Says it was my choice. He doesn’t get it, though. It wasn’t ever a choice for me. And now, he’s changing the rules. The agreement was one month. For 30 days, I’d be his. He’s no longer satisfied with my body alone, though. He wants my soul, too. Wants every part of me. And even though I can pretend I’m safe when I lie beneath him, this man does something to me. Something wicked. A thing that will break me.
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A 5⭐️ DARK & MULTI-LAYERED JOURNEY TO REDEMPTION
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What listeners say about A Girl's Guide to Vampires
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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- ICU1313
- 07-02-19
I'm surprised I enjoyed it.
The book was surprisingly steamy, I really enjoyed it. Usually i don't like these books but I really liked it. I even laughed.
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- customer1966
- 04-15-24
So funny and romantic
Chapter 1 had me roaring, consistently into Chapter 2. I’m so glad someone else has the same sense of humor & gets those jokes other people look at me like I’m crazy.
I’ve read hotter, sexier & more descriptive Vampire romances but this is a true, romance & good comedy thrown in for great measure.
I LOVED IT!
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Liz Waddell
- 03-20-21
Ugh others were right
The book had some fun side characters; however, the other reviewers who dislike this heroine were correct. She is frustratingly dumb and annoying with the emotional iq of a rutabaga.
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- chevelle
- 07-05-17
Chevelle
every time I put it down I wanted to pick it back up. narrator was good.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Martha
- 06-30-14
Cute idea, but where's the vampire?
Would you recommend A Girl's Guide to Vampires to your friends? Why or why not?
No. The story is called A Girl's Guide to Vampires, but there is very little girl/vampire interaction. The only redeeming quality about this story was the sex.
Would you listen to another book narrated by Karen White?
As it turned out, I did. I don't really love her as a narrator.
Was A Girl's Guide to Vampires worth the listening time?
It helped the bumper to bumper traffic stress, but otherwise it was not the best few hours of my time.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- K. April Holgate
- 08-25-13
Steamy Paranormal Series
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
I would recommend to freinds who like paranormal vamp books.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Roxy, she always made me laugh!
Which character – as performed by Karen White – was your favorite?
She did a terrific job with all of them!
If you could take any character from A Girl's Guide to Vampires out to dinner, who would it be and why?
Again Roxy, cause I want to steal her as my BFF!
Any additional comments?
Holy Hannah, that was a steamy fun read! It had plenty of laugh out loud light and funny moments mixed in with a fair amount of mystery.
I really enjoyed the story for the most part but was a touch disappointed by some of the events. I was also not always in love with the lead guy Raphael. He had some definite jerk moments I had a hard time getting past.
Loved, loved, loved Joy and Roxy! The dynamic between these two best friends is what really carries the story. Almost every interaction between the two will induce giggles if not out right guffaws! They were engaging and fun but not cartoony. They really were delightful!
The whole side story mystery was a touch on the dull side. I could have used a little more action there but it served it's purpose of holding the book together and making it more than just a romance.
Steamy!!!! Oh heck yes!! Once the two leads get together they kind of go at it like bunnies whenever they get a free moment!! Hot and heavy about covers it!!
I listened to the audiobook on this one and the narrator did a great job. I liked the voices and felt she did a fantastic job of giving distinct changes to each character's voice. I never had a moment when I doubted who was speaking. She also did a great job of conveying the emotions, enhancing the storytelling.
This is the first book in the series and while it doesn't have me hooked I am intrigued enough to try the next one.
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- Venus in the 4th
- 01-07-23
Do the authors even know? 🥲😪
This is hard to rate- this book is one of my long time favorites, by one of my long time favorite authors- and it was fun to revisit it via audio book. However, the narrator took the H, who has always been sexy as sin in my head (for about the past twenty years, mind you)- and gave him the weirdest voice- a voice that could only before have been fit for an undead Alfred (You know, Alfred from Batman? 😅)- that’s right- Alfred, but undead- he sounded like a stuffy old man with a froggy voice.
I am sure the narrator tried and it can’t be easy, but listening to this book was torture in that respect- I winced in serious dismay and a little bit of heartbreak every single time it was the H’s turn to speak 🤦🏼♀️
When this happens, I always can’t help but wonder if the authors even bother to listen to how bad it is-
But when a narrator ruins the voice of some of your favorite characters- it is it’s own special kind of hell 😪
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- Amanda Knowles
- 09-14-20
Very good read
The story is well written and very engrossing. The narrator does a wonderful job reading the story and keeping the voices straight.
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- Barbara
- 02-20-13
THIS is Not the Katie MacAlister we know!!!
I first started listening to Ms MacAlister with the "Dragon Series". I thirsted for each book as it came out. Always pleased with the product, I came back time and again for more. Those series (Green, Silver, Light, Black, etc.) were witty in dialogue, well characterized in number of distinct personalities, broad in storyline and worthy of the public acclaim that they achieved.
Then, having no more in that series to read, I started with some of her "other" Vampire books only a few of which were carried by Audible (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Fang, etc.) and found the surprisingly good as well.
When these 3 books came out in 2013, I was so eager to feed my habit that I did not even listen to a sample of the books, I just purchased them. These books, apparently all in the "Dark Ones" series (but neither labeled nor numbered that way except for this first book) are little more than formulaic with flat characters, shabby storylines and a blind of overly descriptive sex scenes that neither arouse nor deceive the listener into believing that this is up to the previous Ms MacAlister's writings. If these were her first works, I could allow that, as a beginner, she could in time grow to be the KM we all know. However, that is not the case and it appears that these works are merely trying to "cash in" on her previous legacy.
Needless to say I will not be following this series.
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- Liam T Bear
- 02-27-21
Sadly doesn't quite hold up
I enjoy a lot of Katie McAlister's books and recently finished the Audio versions of her Aisling Grey series. I figured the Dark Ones would be fun next, as I like that series as well.
Unfortunately, the audio performance didn't just detract from the book, it made it very frustrating and unpleasant to listen to. I didn't mind the performer's voices, but I minded very much that anyone who was not American spoke... very... broken... sentences. Even people stated as having an English accent, or the fact that the area they're visiting has people from all over the world visiting. As most of the main characters including both of the love interests are not from the US, it means even during hot and heavy scenes you listen to a character who sounds like Sesame Street's Count and the Swedish Chef had a kid.
Even speeding up the narration didn't help. There is no real characterization of voices -- instead of a voice, they just get stuck with broken, plodding English. Nevermind the main characters are all fluent in English and in text have actual personalities. This was incredibly disappointing, because it's constant, so any of the feelings I had for sections of the book (ridiculous, funny, romantic, sad) are gone and replaced with pure annoyance. I'm sad to lose all of the characters to this.
I forgot how much casual racism was in this book (a lot of g*psy and similar pejoratives), which also led to it not standing up well to nostalgia.
I will re-read this book but not re-listen to it; the whole thing feels whitewashed to the point of no one having any personality at all, which is a shame.
I won't be listening to more in this series if they have the same performer -- most take place in Europe, and I can't listen to every single line of dialogue coming like pulling teeth, word by word, simply because the speaker isn't American. Oof.
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