Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs

By: Molly Harper

Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi

Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins

Publisher's Summary

Maybe it was the Shenanigans gift certificate that put her over the edge. When children's librarian and self-professed nice girl Jane Jameson is fired by her beastly boss and handed $25 in potato skins instead of a severance check, she goes on a bender that's sure to become Half Moon Hollow legend. On her way home, she's mistaken for a deer, shot, and left for dead. And thanks to the mysterious stranger she met while chugging neon-colored cocktails, she wakes up with a decidedly unladylike thirst for blood.

Jane is now the latest recipient of a gift basket from the Newly Undead Welcoming Committee, and her life-after-lifestyle is taking some getting used to. Her recently deceased favorite aunt is now her ghostly roommate. She has to fake breathing and endure daytime hours to avoid coming out of the coffin to her family. She's forced to forgo her favorite down-home Southern cooking for bags of O negative. Her relationship with her sexy, mercurial vampire sire keeps running hot and cold. And if all that wasn't enough, it looks like someone in Half Moon Hollow is trying to frame her for a series of vampire murders. What's a nice undead girl to do?

Love in vein: bite into more of Jane Jameson's paranormal exploits.

©2009 Molly Harper White (P)2010 Audible, Inc.

Critic Reviews

"Hysterical laughs are the hallmark of this enchanting paranormal debut....Harper keeps the quips coming without overdoing the sarcasm, and her take on vampire lore will intrigue and entertain even the most jaded paranormal fan." ( Publishers Weekly)

Refreshing take on the Paranormal Genre

A few years ago if any one had told me i would be reading this sort of book i would have laughed at them.

It started when I found due to health reasons I could not read the fine print most of my beloved books had, so 10 years ago i started on audio books Fantasy and SCI-FI.

Eventually I ran out of the Audio books I wanted to read so I started reading books like True Blood, moved to Feehand and Lynsay Sands and then found this Gem.

This book is a very refreshing take on the Vampire Paranormal Books. I like the humorous take this book takes. It is wonderful romp from beginning to end.

Jane Jameson is a 27 year old librarian who becomes a Vampire because it was either that or die. I found Molly Harper Whites take on a young woman who has her own personal issues come to grips with her new life style as Vampire refreshing.

This is the sort of book you pick up and find that you are suddenly reading the last few words on the last page. It's one of those sort of books.

If you like this Paranormal Fantasy genre then you will love this book.

I cant wait to listen to the next one.

120 people found this helpful

Laugh-out Loud Funny

I don't usually write reviews, and I am NOT a fan of the vampire romance genre at all! But I saw that other people thought this was funny, and felt like a laugh but I was prepared to doubt. Don't hesitate, truly, Molly Harper has such a funny turn of phrase, very dry wit, and she's written a smart incisive character (no pun intended) who is just like the friend we all want. Expect to laugh, well worth your credit :)

111 people found this helpful

What a HOOT!!!!!!!

When I read the blurb for this book I was captured hook,line and sinker!!I listen to a lot of books while my hubby plays his video games and this book had me laughing out loud and the hubby wanted to know what was up with me. I pointed to my ear-buds and he said it must be really funny and it sure was!! The one liners, and the sarcastic view point of Jane was great. I've been told I have a sort of sarcastic sense of humor. I guess that's why I enjoyed it so much. I thought that Amanda Ronconi did an awesome narrating job and look forward to listening to more of her work. I will be buying the rest of this series!!

54 people found this helpful

Laugh-out-loud funny!

This book is absolutely hilarious! Seriously, I had to constantly stop the recording because of hard I was laughing. It was so good, I already wanted to get Books 2 & 3 before I'd even finished this one. I also really liked the narrator; it's a first-person narrative and Amanda Ronconi's voice was perfect for Jane.

All in all, great purchase!

49 people found this helpful

Fun but lacking

Cute story, but lacking in any real intriguing storyline or plot. I was 3/4 of the way through before I realized I still had no idea what the actual plot was other than she becomes a vampire and we learn about her adjusting to that with the help of the "guide to the undead" book.

5 people found this helpful

OK, it's good!!

Having read Charlaine Harris and Jeaniene Frost I was a bit dubious whether this author would cut it. I was pleasantly surprised. From start to finish I was laughing my butt off. I will definitely be looking for more of Molly's books and the narrator was really good too!

34 people found this helpful

Funny, but really not very good

What about Amanda Ronconi’s performance did you like?

Great narrator, all things considered.

Any additional comments?

I had positive expectations of this book as the beginning was smooth and punchy, it had personality. But we ran into some issues. The author never gives you a single scene for at least the first five hours that's free of her constant barrage of jokes and witty repartee. You end up really needing a break from that aspect as it wears on the nerves after a while, but the author cannot give you a break from this as the quips and observational humour are what carry the entire story. Oh, that and the plot that's borrowed almost entirely from other vampire books, one in particular. It's almost like a "what if this book everyone loves was more like that instead" piece of fan fiction that seeks to improve on the work it steals from wholesale. I didn't see an improvement on the original. I saw a story with an awkwardly written and dull romance, and a plot that wound through irrelevant events, like the main character getting a job at a telemarketing firm and (surprise) hating it, then quitting. Even her being turned into a vampire was a bit inconsequential with the boring way it happened. Even the murder she was falsely accused of seemed to hardly involve her at all. This character was barely affected by her own story. I guess she had to focus on formulating jokes instead?

26 people found this helpful

Quirky vampire chick book that kept me smiling

When I read a book, I can only describe the mood by referencing the weather. Jane Eyre was dark, cloudy, and occasionally rainy, as was Wuthering Heights, and when I visited the Bronte parsonage, it made perfect sense. This book bathed in sunlight; which is probably odd for a vampire novel.

Most vampire books these days go for hot and romantic or dark and ominous... so to have a tale of a woman transitioning into the undead giving me the same impression of “weather” as a lite and cheery chick book was a bit of fresh air.

The book itself is light, both in mood and writing (the length is about half what I usually read/listen to) so I went in expecting a good time without the need to pick it apart with a critcal eye/ear. By the time I finished it, I was rushing to download the next two. A fun time, easy plot, and witty commentary left me light hearted and eager to hear more. The book is set in Kentucky, where I am from, and so the hilarity of having an aunt die in a “I bleed blue” tshirt (an avid UK basketball fan just like the other ¾ of the state) was an added bonus. She nailed Kentuckians and had me laughing at some of our quirks.

I found the use of everyday companies, occurances, and names (Mary Kay, Dick Cheney, etc) interesting since most authors skirt real life references for more obscure versions of the real thing. So Jane's comment about "the only thing to do at 2pm" was to "go to Walmart" got me giggling - oh how many times had I done the same thing (and can appreciate the outsider view on this even more having lived in Los Angeles for a time). I loved this aspect of the book.

The narrator did a fine job, though I did find it strange that the love interest and the best friend’s mother sounded like they were from the Simpsons. Still, the whole experience was great and easily earns 5 stars.

31 people found this helpful

Great at first

This book seemed like a fun read/listen at first. Loved the narrator and the writing was light and humorous. But then, it just felt like it was going nowhere. and the "funny" became annoying. Couldn't finished it and returned it.

4 people found this helpful

A great series. Easy and fun!

Any additional comments?

Every now and then I will find a series to listen to. Something easy and light. I like knowing that for a little while I will not have to spend hours debating about what book to read next. The books are funny and entertaining. The narration is great as well. If you're looking for something easy and engaging, these books are perfect.

9 people found this helpful

Very enjoyable, light, humorous, vamp romance

I picked this book out more or less at random as something light to listen to. I've been having difficulty reading actual text and I've turned to audiobooks to "read" more. I am particularly glad I picked this one.



Jane is a librarian who suddenly discovers herself to be unemployed, gets drunk at a bar, gets shot (mistaken for a deer), and has the choice of being dead, or undead. A few days later she wakes up a vampire. She has a best friend who is almost as dotty as she is, and an overbearing mother. But now that she's undead she has her favourite (dead) relative to keep her company and a suave, attractive sire who she fancies something rotten, but he did turn her into a vampire. On top of that, someone seems to have it in for her, and she needs a new job.



At least she lives in a world which knows vampires exist. The setting is wonderfully cynical; just my kind of concept. The existance of vampires was revealed as part of a disability lawsuit. Each chapter begins with a quote from the "Guide for the Newly Undead," and the local vampire community holds meet-and-greet parties for newbie vampires, hosted by a vampire property agent (how could anyone tell the difference).



The narration on this one is good. Amanda Ronconi pulls off the accents, even an English one, nicely and it felt like she enjoyed reading the story even as I laughed my way through it.



I'll be putting the second in the series on my wishlist.

8 people found this helpful

Fun and funny characters

I just love this series of books! The interplay between the characters is very funny and the books just zip along. The narration by Amanda Ronconi is spot on and the story is very engaging.
As a 40 something truck driver who usually listens to Sci-Fi when travelling up and down the country you might not think that these books are aimed at me but I'm glad I gave them a try.

6 people found this helpful

Very funny modern twist on vampire tale

If you like Charlaine Harris then you will like this. Molly Harper writes with a funny, dry wit. Her tale of Jane Jameson's turning and life with her family, friends and boyfriend/sire is very engaging and had me laughing out loud while listening.

3 people found this helpful

Excellent

Any additional comments?

I really loved this book. I just love Jane, she's so funny and so is her Great Aunt Jettie! I also loved Gabriel, Dick, Andrea, Jeb and Jolene! I enjoyed the story and Jane's initial adjustment to Vampire life although she still has to earn acceptance in the undead community. Poor Jane was the subject of a hate campaign in the story with some unknown targeting her to try and drive her out of the community or kill her.
She also has to deal with a nightmare family, well her dad's understanding and supportive, but her mum is high strung and very interfering, constantly trying to change Jane. Her sister is also scheming and always trying to put her down, not to mention being jealous that their Aunt Jettie left her house and everything in it to Jane when her sister is quite covetous of the house and the antiques within it.
I look forward to seeing how things go with her family as they have not handled news of her turning very well, well again her Dad is coping well and supportive of Jane but the rest of her living family is not dealing well with the news.
I'm really looking forward to the rest of the series!

2 people found this helpful

Highly derivative: Sookie Stackhouse with fangs

I bought this on the strength of the other reviews. In fairness, if I'd been in a coma for the last five years and never come across a Southern-virginal-beautiful-oddball-girl-with-supernatural-powers type heroine, then I would have been quite impressed by this book and its story of an alternative world ridden with supernatural beings. However, having worked my way through most of the True Blood books and dabbled in much of the rest of the genre, I have to say that this is a profoundly unimaginative rip off and basically more of the same - only Sookie has a different name and is a vampire, rather than telepathic. There are slightly more jokes, but nothing that laugh out loud so it can't, imho, even claim to be a satirical version of the same.

If you've run out of True Blood/Twilight/etc. etc. and are desperate for a new fix, this might be just up your street, but if you feel that the whole vampires coming out of the closet story line has been done to death, then I wouldn't recommend this title at all.

4 people found this helpful

Nice girls don't have fangs

i did not finish listening the narrator was annoying the story was disinteresting and not funny what a waste of time and money

So funny

Very funny. snarky dialogue. definitely not a plain Jane. I don't ever want to be called 'shut either!

Narration good, book not for me

To be honest this was not for me.
It's a very young adult/young teen fiction and the lead female is a nightmare. I'm sure she's not meant to be a role model but I really struggled to get behind her as a protagonist.
I fancied something light and something new so it ticked those boxes.

The voice narration is fine.

unexpected good

was a bit worried I wouldn't like it but I'm glad I try already have the next one..

Love this book

This has been so fun to read - I love the way Amanda narrated all these books