A Girl's Guide to Vampires

By: Katie MacAlister

Narrated by: Karen White

Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins

Publisher's summary

Joy Randall's Top-five tips for vampire hunters:

• Location, location, location. Vampires won't be caught dead (ha!) in places like discos, 10-minute lube shops, or Switzerland. Remember, if you wouldn't be there, neither would a bloodsucker.
• Trust your eyes. You know the handsome, annoyingly arrogant, self-assured man in the shadows with long hair and a cleft in his chin? He's your vampire.
• No matter how tempting it might be, do not "accidentally" acquire a paper cut on your finger and suggest your vampire kiss it to make it better.
• Play it cool. Don't offer to accompany your prince of the night on the talk-show circuit, and whatever you do, don't offer him your heart!
• Most of all, remember: being a vampire is nothing to laugh about.

©2003 Marthe Arends (P)2012 HarperCollinsPublishers

Can't believe this was written by Katie MacAlister

What would have made A Girl's Guide to Vampires better?

To start with better narration. It was so slow and draggy that after I passed half way in the book I sped up the narration that only helped a little bit. The story dragged on WAY to long.

Has A Girl's Guide to Vampires turned you off from other books in this genre?

No. I still love that genre and I even love most of Katie MacAlister's books and own many. Some I have read over and over.

How could the performance have been better?

The narration was way to slow extending the length of the book. It is totally unbelievable that Joy and Roxie could have actually been friends most of their lives. Each of them are portrayed as very annoying and they have no common values, ideas or anything to connect them as such BFFs. Karen White does a very good job with the actual voices, but for goodness sake she shouldn't have stretched out all of the dialog and descriptions and I could have done without the snobby way she made Joy sound. I don't expect all main female characters be someone I would want for a BFF...but it sure would be good if I didn't dislike her enough to hope that she would end up as a corpse also.

What character would you cut from A Girl's Guide to Vampires?

I could see a purpose for all of the characters actually. Just wish that they could all have been less annoying.

Any additional comments?

I love Katie MacAlister's other books. But this one definitely isn't up to her best. Also, I have read other books narrated by Karen White and she can do a better job than what was accomplished in this book, but she definitely isn't up to par with Barbara Rosenblat. I really wanted to read it to the end, but just couldn't handle listening to Karen White's voice any more or put up with the Joy and Roxie characters any more as she portrays them.

Terrible!

Any additional comments?

Bad story, bad reading, really terrible. Kept thinking it would get better.... it didn't.

Whiney women and over the top machismo

The lead & supporting female leads are the worst women ever. I would NEVER put up with Roxy's crap and inconsiderate behavior. This book just puts a stamp on the old adage that women aren't intelligent. The men were over the top with their crude behavior. Putting the two together just made it worse than ever. Makes me rethink taking advice of other paranormal readers.

Stupid. Just stupid.

Ok this book was so stupid. So stupid. I don’t understand how it got as many stars as it did. It is just one big cliche. I honestly never thought I would encounter such a stupid book in my whole audible time. How could anyone any GUY could want someone who is a whiny little girl. I don’t know how old these two are, maybe 23? They sound like high school students wanting to be in a corny vampire book. Who the hell wants to go to Europe to find vampires? Even tho this is a book but I mean COME ON. I got to chapter 7 and stoped. I couldn’t continue. I like strong women who know what they want. This is just a disgrace to all women. Yah I’m done with this author.

The narrator was ok. She got melodramatic at a lot of times which made the story that much more stupid.

Laugh out loud? What? Did we read the same book?

The only saving grace in this book was the narrator. The lead female was irritating at best. The only reason I didn't return this book was based on others reviews thinking surely there was some substance but nada.

This might be a teenagers' good listen, but I expect more adult attitudes in the books I read and/or listen to. Not a female that isn't a person I could stay in a room with for more than 5 minutes without losing my mind.

Katie MacAlister, while a very good author, this book is a complete miss.

It could've been good..

The main characters are aggravatingly narcissistic and, because of this, the plot was short-sighted and unimaginative.

Not for me

This book had potential. I wanted to like it, and listened to the entire story in hopes it would get better, but unfortunately it just didn't. There was no solid storyline and it was honestly more of a smut book than anything. Very scattered and not anything like I expected. I don't recommend.

NOT a Vampire Romance!!!

What disappointed you about A Girl's Guide to Vampires?

It's a VAMPIRE book and the vampire is not even one of two main charaters!

What was most disappointing about Katie MacAlister’s story?

The premise of the series is supposed to be a vampire finding his one true mate. Except that's NOT what happens. It felt like a waste of time and money when you expect to get a vampire romance, and then don't get that!

Have you listened to any of Karen White’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

I liked her performance fine.

If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from A Girl's Guide to Vampires?

If I could play editor, this book wouldn't have gone in this direction at all, or would have been returned to be rewritten.

Any additional comments?

If you name a book A Girl's Guide to Vampires, I expect one of the two main characters to BE a vampire.

Boring

Got half way through and quit. Got annoyed with everything about it. Save your time.

This story really sucks, and by sucks I mean BAD.

🙁😤 DON'T WASTE A CREDIT ON THIS BOOK...
This is my first review, I've listened to hundreds of books through Audible. This is the first book that was so awful I had to say something!!! The characters in this story were terrible, stupid, and childish. The women characters were worse than any teenager that I've ever met..
I'm also very insulted for Ms. Lindsey Sands. Some one wrote a review comparing MacAlister's writing to Ms. Sands. That's rubbish. They are nothing alike. Ms. Sands takes you on an adventure that you don't want to end. In Ms. Sands books about Vampires and also in her Highlander series, her stories are inevitably SOOO much more entertaining. They are adventurous, funny, intriguing, and alot more steamy. If you want to read a good vampire book, read authors like Sands, Frost and Feehan. You'll get everything your looking for and much more. I'm sorry if this review is upsetting to any listeners out there, but in my opinion, every word was the truthful. 😠😳