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Publisher's Summary

It's not easy being a parent these days. There are bills to pay. Kids to feed. And hordes of undead monsters to keep at bay.

There are plenty of guides out there about how to survive the zombie apocalypse. All of them assume readers are young, fit, and unencumbered by children. In that scenario, the only living humans left will be smug, outdoorsy Millennials. That's hell on earth, even without the zombies.Only Dead on the Inside is the answer for the rest of us.

Written by professional comedy writer and amateur father-of-four James Breakwell, Only Dead on the Inside blends traditional parenting advice with zombie survival tips, bringing together two totally unrelated genres in a book no one asked for but everyone needs.This step-by-step manual teaches you how to raise happy, healthy children in a world overrun by the undead. Motivated moms and dads want it all, and that won't change at the end of the world. There's no reason you can't be a zombie killing machine AND parent of the year, but you have to work for it.

If you want to make sure your family is apocalypse-ready, Only Dead on the Inside is your best--and only--chance at survival. No pressure, but if you don't read this book, your children will die. PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your Library section along with the audio.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.
©2017 James Breakwell (P)2017 Novel Audio Inc.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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This was a very useful guide!

Should I ever have kids, I now feel I will be able to survive the zombie apocalypse with ease!

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Funniest book I've listened to in a long time

Any parent NEEDS to listen to this book!!! It's a quirky type of funny that most people of my Oregon Trail Generation appreciate. I will be listening to this over and over.

Pardon me while I go look at the comics and charts that come with the audiobook.

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  • Kathy
  • Alexandria, KY, United States
  • 12-17-17

Surprisingly good

I expected this to read like one of Unicorn's tweets. But it is so much more. I am now armed to survive the zombie apocalypse. But I was also entertained even though I do not have children. I'm so glad the author read the book himself. I loved that each chapter covered different aspects of potential apocalyptic scenarios. It kept the book fresh and laugh out loud funny. Hearing 7-year-old Betsy read the ending was extra special. What a great job she did. I will re-read this book. What more can be said?

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As good as expected

I found this book to be amazingly funny. That being said I don't recommend listening to it all in one go (which is what I did). The story is good, and James does a good job of narrating his own book, but after about two hours or so I found myself wanting to listen to something else because it was losing my attention. I think this is just due to the nature of the comedy, or maybe the writing style. I don't know I'm just a dumb listener. I have followed James on his Twitter account for quite a while and have always loved his humor. I am extremely happy I purchased this book, and I highly recommend it to anyone that has or is expecting to have kids. While I don't have any kids of my own I may have to adopt or borrow one so I can justify buying an umbrella stroller. When the Zombie Apocalypse eventually finds itself at my doorstep I feel that I will have been sufficiently prepared thanks to this book.