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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
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To whom the fat rolls...I'm tired of books where a self-loathing heroine is teased to the point where she starves herself skinny in hopes of a fabulous new life. And I hate the message that women can't possibly be happy until we all fit into our skinny jeans. I don't find these stories uplifting; they make me want to hug these women and take them out for fizzy champagne drinks and cheesecake and explain to them that until they figure out their insides, their outsides don't matter.
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I wanted to love this BUT.....
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Publisher's summary
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder. As she details the chaos that will surely ensue if she has to learn to operate one more television remote control, you'll want to settle in and pour yourself a tall one. Because what's more fun than hearing a friend share her favorite stories?
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What listeners say about Stories I'd Tell in Bars
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- D D H
- 06-15-19
self absorbed
I find that this book along with her previous book, Such A Pretty Fat, has a lot of padding in it. This book starts out decent but the issue with the author is that her self absorption is eventually so exhausting that you can't take in the book all at once. You can only handle it in small doses, and that's when there's actually content and not just her rambling to meet what feels like some word quota. I would call this book a low on content high on fluff bit of nonsense. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it's not a good thing either.
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7 people found this helpful
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- CH
- 05-02-20
Too much nagging about younger people
By definition, I'm technically a millennial. I'm literally five years away from falling in the Gen x category. I rolled my eyes so hard through this story. She complains how she can't get in touch with millennials, clearly not understanding what a millennial actually is, but she tells too many side stories as well. she can't even get through one comment without telling us a story about how engrossed her dog is with begging for food - having nothing to do with what she's actually talking about. Too windy. Too whiny. Not impressed in the slightest.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Dogs & Horses
- 10-22-20
Missing that old zest
I'm a fan of Jen and I pre-order each book on Audible, so I am obviously comfortable with her style in general. She's quite relatable to us Gen X women who have little patience for nonsense, but endless time for animals.
Unfortunately, Stories I'll Tell In Bars felt forced and like it was reaching and not quite getting there. The Italy trip story dragged and there were hints of the earlier bitey humor, but in a weird, obligatory way. Like trying to be funny vs natural flow creating raucous silliness.
I'm not giving up on Lancaster at all, Fletch and the dogs are far more interesting than most junk on TV. Let's just hope Jen finds her groove again
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4 people found this helpful
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- susie sunshine
- 02-11-20
I liked this book
Until you get to the part where you repeated "MO JI TO" over and over again. We get the point after the first or second time you say it. I think you lost me after that chapter even though I tried to focus. It was annoying (to me) but perhaps it won't bother other readers. (And I like a good mojito) Up to that point, I thought your stories were good and relatable.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Dayna A. Safranek
- 10-11-19
Jen Lancaster does it again!
I’ve been a huge Jen Lancaster fan and have read every one of her books and also have this one in print, but when I saw that it was actually read by her and parts by Fletch, I couldn’t resist listening instead of reading. I really enjoyed this. Jen has a very effective speaking voice as does Fletch. The book flowed easily and I was laughing and relating as were not very far apart in age and I guess I fit perfectly with her humor. I get her because my humor is a lot like her. If you like Jen Lancaster’s books, you will enjoy this book. It’s a fun and lighthearted side of Lancaster mixed with a little serious and a dash of heart. The perfect cocktail.
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- JP
- 03-04-20
could not finish
The narrator was speaking as if to a child, with pauses in between almost every word. I think she was just trying to enunciate clearly, but it was very hard to listen to. I'm not sure if it was the narration or the book itself, but I did not find it very humorous.
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2 people found this helpful
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- ekpreviews
- 11-01-19
love Jen Lancaster!
As usual, a hilarious book. I've read all of hers, and they never disappoint. I only wish she could write faster...
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2 people found this helpful
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- Inappropriate74
- 04-27-19
Another winner with bonus appearances by her husband
I love everything Jen writes (and if you haven’t read her YA novel, Gatekeepers, you should). When she self published this book I was a bit disappointed because I was afraid she wouldn’t have the chance to do an audio version. It was worth the wait! The addition of Fletch at the end of some chapters was a happy bonus.
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- PixieShadow
- 12-20-21
I thought I'd die from boredom
I want my money back.
What was I thinking purchasing this wrinkled garbage bag with text?
I could not get through it. Impossible pointless re-chewed blah blah bad jokes. Bad bad bad and embarrassingly so.
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- kimmy
- 06-11-21
skip it
I usually find Jen hilarious this time I found her disappointing. The book was riddled with GDs and Fletch is beyond lame. It was page after page of trying too hard and falling flat.
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- Unabridged
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Adam Frankel’s maternal grandparents survived the Holocaust and built new lives, with new names, in Connecticut. Though they tried to leave the horrors of their past behind, the pain they suffered crossed generational lines - a fact most apparent in the mental health of Adam’s mother. When Adam sat down with her to examine their family history in detail, he learned another shocking secret, this time one that unraveled Adam’s entire understanding of who he is.
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Amazing story
- By Alissa on 12-26-19
By: Adam Frankel
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Everybody Thought We Were Crazy
- Dennis Hopper, Brooke Hayward, and 1960s Los Angeles
- By: Mark Rozzo
- Narrated by: Jason Culp
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Los Angeles in the 1960s: riots in Watts and on the Sunset Strip, wild weekends in Malibu, late nights at The Daisy discotheque, openings at the Ferus Gallery, and the convergence of pop art, rock and roll, and the New Hollywood. At the center of it all, one inspired, improbable, and highly combustible couple—Dennis Hopper and Brooke Hayward—lived out the emblematic love story of ’60s LA.
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Stick with it
- By Harry Seaward on 08-23-22
By: Mark Rozzo
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Welcome to the United States of Anxiety
- Observations from a Reforming Neurotic
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Jen Lancaster is here to take a hard look at our elevating anxieties, and with self-deprecating wit and levelheaded wisdom, she charts a path out of the quagmire that keeps us frightened of the future and ashamed of our imperfectly perfect human lives. Take a deep breath, and her advice, and you just might get through a holiday dinner without wanting to disown your uncle.
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Not relatable
- By shelly on 11-03-20
By: Jen Lancaster
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Just the Funny Parts
- … And a Few Hard Truths About Sneaking Into the Hollywood Boys’ Club
- By: Nell Scovell
- Narrated by: Amy Hohn
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Just the Funny Parts is a juicy and scathingly funny insider look at how pop culture gets made. For more than 30 years, writer, producer, and director Nell Scovell worked behind the scenes of iconic TV shows, including The Simpsons, Late Night with David Letterman, Murphy Brown, NCIS, The Muppets, and Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, which she created and executive produced. In 2009, Scovell gave up her behind-the-scenes status when the David Letterman sex scandal broke.
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Kept waiting for the funny parts
- By Rebecca Brooks on 04-06-18
By: Nell Scovell
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The Tao of Martha
- My Year of LIVING; Or, Why I'm Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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One would think that with Jen Lancaster’s impressive list of bestselling self-improvement memoirs that she would have it all together by now. One would be wrong. Jen’s still a little rough around the edges. Suffice it to say, she’s no Martha Stewart. And that is exactly why Jen is going to Martha up and live her life according to the advice of America’s overachieving older sister - the woman who turns lemons into lavender-infused lemonade.
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Not as light as previous books, still witty
- By Dogs & Horses on 05-10-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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I Regret Nothing
- A Memoir
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
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The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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The Survivors
- A Story of War, Inheritance, and Healing
- By: Adam Frankel
- Narrated by: Adam Frankel, Rob Shapiro
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Adam Frankel’s maternal grandparents survived the Holocaust and built new lives, with new names, in Connecticut. Though they tried to leave the horrors of their past behind, the pain they suffered crossed generational lines - a fact most apparent in the mental health of Adam’s mother. When Adam sat down with her to examine their family history in detail, he learned another shocking secret, this time one that unraveled Adam’s entire understanding of who he is.
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Amazing story
- By Alissa on 12-26-19
By: Adam Frankel
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Everybody Thought We Were Crazy
- Dennis Hopper, Brooke Hayward, and 1960s Los Angeles
- By: Mark Rozzo
- Narrated by: Jason Culp
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Los Angeles in the 1960s: riots in Watts and on the Sunset Strip, wild weekends in Malibu, late nights at The Daisy discotheque, openings at the Ferus Gallery, and the convergence of pop art, rock and roll, and the New Hollywood. At the center of it all, one inspired, improbable, and highly combustible couple—Dennis Hopper and Brooke Hayward—lived out the emblematic love story of ’60s LA.
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Stick with it
- By Harry Seaward on 08-23-22
By: Mark Rozzo
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Here I Go Again
- A Novel
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Twenty years after ruling the halls of her suburban Chicago high school, Lissy Ryder doesn't understand why her glory days ended. Back then, she was worshipped...beloved...feared. Present day, not so much. She's been pink-slipped from her high-paying job, dumped by her husband and kicked out of her condo. Now, at 37, she's struggling to start a business out of her parents' garage and sleeping under the hair-band posters in her old bedroom. Lissy finally realizes karma is the only bitch bigger than she was.
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Love Jen... but please, please don't narrate
- By K. Yorston on 01-30-13
By: Jen Lancaster
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The Gatekeepers
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Arielle Delisle, Julia Whelan, Michael Goldstrum, and others
- Length: 13 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Meet Simone, the bohemian transfer student from London, who is thrust into the strange new reality of an American high school; Mallory, the hypercompetitive queen bee; and Stephen, the first-generation genius who struggles with crippling self-doubt. Each one is shocked when a popular classmate takes his own life...except not too shocked. It's happened before. With so many students facing their own demons, can they find a way to save each other - as well as themselves?
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SO worth the credit! This book could save lives!
- By MizzSkully on 11-10-17
By: Jen Lancaster
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Fall
- The Mysterious Life and Death of Robert Maxwell, Britain's Most Notorious Media Baron
- By: John Preston
- Narrated by: Simon Bubb
- Length: 11 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In February 1991, Robert Maxwell triumphantly sailed into Manhattan harbor on his yacht, the Lady Ghislaine, to buy the ailing New York Daily News. Taxi drivers stopped their cabs to shake his hand, children asked for his autograph, and patrons of the hottest restaurant in Manhattan gave him a standing ovation while he dined. Ten months later, Maxwell disappeared off that same yacht in the middle of the night and was later found dead in the water. As John Preston reveals in this revealing biography, Maxwell’s death was as mysterious as his remarkable life.
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Don't make men like this anymore
- By Sylvia on 04-06-21
By: John Preston
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Housemoms
- A Novel
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Maria McCann, EJ Lavery, Jeremy Carlisle Parker
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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How fast can charity fundraiser CeCe Barclay’s unimpeachable society life come tumbling down? One minute she’s speaking before Chicago’s glitterati. The next, her financier husband is wanted for embezzlement. Her assets seized and her fall mortifyingly public, CeCe grasps for refuge—and employment—as a sorority housemom at Eli Whitney University, her daughter Hayden’s alma mater.
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I want more!
- By Kelly M on 12-01-23
By: Jen Lancaster
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Becoming Superman
- My Journey From Poverty to Hollywood
- By: J. Michael Straczynski
- Narrated by: Peter Jurasik
- Length: 16 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In this dazzling memoir, the acclaimed writer behind Babylon 5, Sense8, Clint Eastwood’s Changeling, and Marvel’s Thor reveals how the power of creativity and imagination enabled him to overcome the horrors of his youth and a dysfunctional family haunted by madness, murder, and a terrible secret.
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HEART WRENCHING PROSE FROM A PRO
- By Adam S Ridgewell on 07-25-19
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Keep Showing Up
- How to Stay Crazy in Love When Your Love Drives You Crazy
- By: Karen Ehman
- Narrated by: Julie Lyles Carr
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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