Still Alive: Series Box Set, Books 1-4

By: Javan Bonds

Narrated by: S.W. Salzman

Length: 23 hrs and 33 mins

Publisher's Summary

Mo Collins, the reluctant hero, has sailed around the country on board the replica pirate ship, the Viva Ancora, and now he finds himself only miles from his childhood home. But now the world has gone to hell. Hordes of naked, blue, biting zombies have flooded the now dead Alabama lake town. Mo and his only surviving shipmate, Crow, spend their days fishing and their nights watching the monsters roam, seeking untainted flesh and leaving a disgusting mess in their wake. But when a lone survivor stumbles upon Mo and Crow, they gain a new crew member but also find much needed direction. The newcomer, Smokes, will change Mo's view of this zombie-infested world forever. 

As reality mimics fiction, an ever-growing cast of crazy characters plays out their role carving out an island sanctuary in a plague-ridden world. The Expert, The Tech, The Oracle, The Sacrifice, The Old Friend, plus many more.... Join us on this wild ride where the fish bite, the Zombies bite...sometimes life bites. 

Welcome aboard, friend, to The Still Alive Series.

Winner of the 2019 Independent Audiobook Awards (IAA) for Humor 

This box set includes:
Book One: Zombie Lake
Book Two: Zombie Island
Book Three: Zombies On A Plane
Book Four: Zombie Oasis

©2017, 2018, 2019 Javan Bonds (P)2019 Javan Bonds

Zombie Comedy!

Zombie Lake: I don't know what to say because while this book wasn't really my taste, I see the appeal and also see why so many people loved it. This was mostly world building and getting to know the characters while Mo, the main character, gets together a band of interesting and diverse people to face the zombie apocalypse. This book had very little zombies in it and it also didn't have much excitement in the way of survival like I normally expect from this genre. There is a lot of humor for listeners who like comedy and I couldn't believe how different each character is and how fun it was to see so many personalities and lifestyles together in one group. The zombies aren't your normal zombies, I will admit I didn't think flesh eating zombies could get more gross than that but these ones are disgusting and I don't mean gory. The writing was very good and I think this is the beginning of what is probably a great series and a fun world created by the author. Zombie Island: I went into book 2 with high expectations of this story taking off and being filled with action and I have to say it wasn't what I thought it would be. As a continuation of book 1, this book is more would building and more survivor collecting for the group. Sadly for me, it still lacked the zombie excitement I wanted but from reading reviews I see that that is still coming in the series. Again this book was filled with humor and is politically incorrect in a sometimes crude but funny way. If humor was my thing, I would be devouring this series. I didn't continue after book 2 because it is just not my taste. Again this isn't me saying it was bad in anyway, just not for me. I know many people who will love this and I have already recommended it to a few guys I know! I love S.W. Salzman, he does an amazing job with so many accents. I will admit a few of them were not my thing but that is just a matter of taste and says nothing about his job as a narrator. He did it perfectly, I know that the humor in the story called for the over the top accents so I get it and I know I am 100% in the minority on this one when I say it was a bit too much for me.

super hilarious

These books had me dying laughing, now that smokes guy he's my favorite 😂😂😂😂! Javan keep em coming and don't mind the people talking about you being racist, hell I'm blk and see nothing racist about it, dam good read mufuckah😂😂😂

Maybe the apocalypse won't be so bad...

The Still Alive series was a total shock to me. I’ve read or listened to a lot of indie books recently and most are pretty solidly average to a bit above average in entertainment value. When I read Still Alive’s summary and premise, it didn’t seem to be anything that special and I expected it to fall in line with other indie authors in the genre - I was very wrong. The premise is clever and I’ve loved the way the series breaks the 4th wall in order to both create a satirical analysis of every zombie book, tv-series, and movie out there while at the same time telling an interesting and unique story of its own. Most of the chapters in the novels are presented as the diary of Mo Collins, who has found himself forced into the role of a hero in a zombie apocalypse story. Mo is guided by his friend ‘Smokes’ who uses his in-depth knowledge of the zombie apocalypse genre to predict events and situations to ensure that Mo survives and fulfills his role as the hero and the story continues on. Even without the unique and intelligent critique of its own genre, Still Alive would be a great series. It's full of humor, wit, and entertaining banter and checks almost every box for me. It takes you on a roller-coaster of emotions as there’s plenty of moments that will have you laughing out loud, then absolutely disgusted, then angry, then fearful, back to laughing again before you curse Javan Bond’s name for putting you through it all. The characters, despite the fact they are purposely written to be cliché, feel real and it's easy to connect to the main cast of characters and become vested in their survival. The books also really spoke to my inner geek with plenty of pop culture refers to video games, movies, and TV shows. There were only a few things in the books that I could find any fault with. Though I did really like the writing and premise of the book, I think there were a few parts, especially in books 3 or 4 where I thought the “we are living in a zombie apocalypse script” got a bit out of hand. I also found the pacing and passage of time a bit odd in places. It may have been more subtle commentary poking fun at the genre, but the survivors seemed to accomplish a huge number of tasks in only a limited amount of time and the progress that was made during the course of the novels seemed implausible. Several times I had expected days or even weeks to have gone by only to find out that the events described in the next chapter or book happened literally the next day. But these were very minor quibbles To be honest, when I listened to the sample narrated by S.W. Salzman, I wasn’t sure if I could make it through the entire book listening to Mo Collins’ accent. I’m glad I ignored my initial feelings and started listening to the series; within a few chapters, Mo’s voice quickly became one of my favorites. If you start listening, just give it a chance and it will quickly grow on you. After a while, you will realize that Salzman is an amazing artist -- I have a hard time believing there weren’t secretly multiple narrators for this series. Salzman produced such a range of such completely different voices that it still blows my mind. The narration absolutely made this book come alive. If you have any doubts, just do a quick google search for “Blue Christmas With Smokes (Zombies On A Plane Holiday teaser)” and enjoy. Special thanks to Javan Bonds, who provided me with this book at my request.

Still Alive

OMG, I freaking love this series! I have not laughed so hard while reading/listening to a book in a long, long time! I'm pretty sure that I snorted Coke out of my nose a few times (and, no, I don't mean Coca-Cola.....it was Mountain Dew!). Javan Bonds has absolutely nailed what I have always pictured the Zompoc to be. Our protagonist, Elmo Collins (better known as Mo) decides to write a journal to chronicle his day to day life after the Peevies have taken over. He can't believe that he isn't seeing tons of dead bodies or zombies when he ventures off the replica pirate ship where he works. Instead, he encounters people who seem to be fellow members of a movie cast! I love all of the movie/TV references throughout the book. And, Smokes is a walking stereotype that you just have to love! You have an old friend in Bradley, who is a paraplegic complete with his service monkey, Mary. Mr. Bonds throws caution to the wind and mentions just about every stereotype you can think of in his descriptions of his characters. I love that he doesn't seem to care about being PC (a rare thing in today's world!). Being from the South, I especially enjoyed the scene in Wal-Mart, where our crew goes to find supplies. Of course, if you are from the South, you know that you ALWAYS meet somebody you know when you go to WM! Our group encounters Mo's old love (who he was too shy to really pursue) and the local drunken redneck, Walt, who is only there for the beer. I would caution the listener to be aware that this is a series that is NSFW. You will definitely embarrass yourself if you listen in a public place by bursting into gales of laughter. If you are easily offended by politically incorrect stuff or cursing, give this one a pass. However, I never thought that I would be laughing like a pre-teen boy at some of the jokes, so you never know! I could go on and on, but you just have to listen to this series to really appreciate all of the fun! S.W. Salzman does an absolutely amazing job with the accents and dialects throughout the book. I plan to continue this series (and reread these books often) and I know that I will always hear his voice when I do. If you love Zombie books and want to read a unique one, grab this series and never look back! Great job, Javan! Keep up the good work & I'll meet you at the Wal-Mart!

Awesome series!

This series is the funniest and most brilliant zombie series out there! You will laugh until you cry and you will probably even snort a few times! Mo and Smokes are the comedic duo you have been missing from your life. Narrator SW Salzman is excellent. Bonds and Salzman make an great team. I’ve also reviewed each book individually if you want more detail. Just be ready for gore, humor, and a ton of pop culture referencing science fiction. Can’t say it enough, I LOVE this series.

Narrator was a distraction

I liked the story and the characters but the narration was a distraction. Being a born and raised TN girl the southern accents were way off especially Moe and Smokes. But I really liked the humor and character interaction.

A Wonderful Twist to Zombie Stories!

The main character, Mo, reminds me of Columbus in the Zombieland movies. He is a little naïve, unlucky, and almost never gets the girl. Mo, the reluctant hero, and his sidekick, Smokes, the Oracle, had me laughing so hard at times I had tears in my eyes! I love all of the science fiction, pop culture references, including Negan and Lucille from The Walking Dead. I was afraid that the series would be a little hard to listen to since the Covid-19 virus is hitting hard, but it really helped to get my mind off of the news. If you don't mind some graphic scenes and a lot of swearing, this is for you. I hope Javon continues this series and I don't think I need to say I will check into anything he writes, he is brilliant! The narrator, S.W. Salzman is incredible! I did not know that any person living or undead could be as gifted as he is with the range of character voices that was needed for this series. Do yourself a favor and either read this series or better yet listen to it!

Like a down and truly graphic book? you've got it

graphically disgusting and hilarious novels rude, vulgar and simply brilliant! This author takes it above and beyond the norm. the description of some of the scenes will make your stomach churn. must read/ listen to find out

Not your average zombie series

I don't like zombie books because they feel pretty played out at this point, and they can be so depressing. This one was an easy exception. I was offered a free copy of this series for an honest review and I read some other reviews and decided to give it a chance because what's there to lose except for time. I burst out laughing within the first few minutes of it starting. What I like about it: It's really really really funny, in a nerdy awkward sometimes absolutely disgusting way. I like that Moe is really average maybe a little less than average and he knows it. He's awkward and southern and someone that you can actually imagine existing. I like that the zombies are different. I also like that the main bunch of characters is fighting in the zombie apocalypse basically dressed up like functional cosplayers and they live on a pirate ship. I also like that there are some moments that are too real. I wont get into those but they exist. I also love the other references to pop culture. A lot of the time I thought I was listening to one giant inside joke, but I Things that made me go ew: There is a loooot of talk about male genitalia, A LOT. Normally this wouldn't get to me but there is one very memorable, very graphic scene that went on for what feels like forever about a zombie's genitals. I'm not going to tell you what part because I don't want to ruin the absolute horror and disgust for you, the listener. Also as a female sometimes I wish there were more strong female characters most of the chicks seem like idiots in this story, but I also get that this is from the point of the main character. Overall five stars. It was easy to get submersed in this ridiculous world. Finally. I adore S.W. Salzman's narration. He does an excellent job. I've listened to one of the other books he did and both are absolutely brilliant. Inflection and accents are spot on.

Who ever thought zombie poo could be hilarious?!

I'm picky about post-apoc zombie stories and would normally never choose a humorous zombie-containing series, but this has got to be the funniest thing I have listened to in the entirety of 2020. Granted, the bar is rather low when it comes to labeling something from 2020 as 'good' or 'not bad' when you consider the horror show this whole year has been (because everything, in general, sucked a**). The narrator, S W Salzman, MADE this audiobook. All credit goes to Bonds for penning a darn good series that would make me pee my pants without narration, but Salzman is the life of this party. (I have to rag a smidge on Salzman's accent for the character of Smokes, which didn't sound so much like the pot-dealing African American who hails from the bad part of town as it did Mo's foul-mouthed Chinese cousin.) I really enjoyed the story, the performance, and all the choke-inducing laughs that always came just as I was trying to swallow some food.

Blue Zombies.

Really enjoyed the racial under tones very funny. If the colour was reversed there'd probably be uproar.

Zombiedy with a pirate ship! Heck, yeah!

This is such a ridiculous and fun story. Mo is engaging and the zombies are nudists. Luckily, there’s this pirate ship where Mo can hangout with his few friends. The story had me laughing, sometimes at inappropriate moments. Being gnawed on by zombie nudists isn’t funny…. or is it? Mo cusses, a lot. Hence, I felt right at home with this character from the beginning. Now Mo also is a bit of an idiot and he’s got some ‘isms’ to deal with, like his casual racism, homophobia, and sexist ways. At first, I wasn’t too sure what the story was going to do with this aspect but as the plot develops, I could see the author was using Mo’s hangups as a way to poke fun at such aspects of society. In this way, the Still Alive series reminded me a bit of True Blood and how it pokes fun at racism, etc. The humor is a mix of slapstick, sarcasm, and poking fun at racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. When I tired of the slapstick, a bit of sarcasm stepped in, and when I tired of that, Mo was again proclaiming he’s not sexist even while he ogled some woman. It’s a good thing Mo is a good guy in general, and that he’s working on broadening his horizons. The ladies don't get much page time and this is the one weakness of the story. Now admittedly, the bulk of the story is told through Mo’s eyes and he doesn’t hang out with the women much. Still, I wanted more Hammer, and I wanted to know more about Crow. I would love a story featuring Hammer, Crow, and Bradley. The zombies would be vanquished! Mary, Bradley’s service monkey, had the most page time out of all the female characters (and she’s a humorous addition). I think this series really indulges my immature side, in a totally good way. It’s hard to not make fun of blue nudist cannibals, as Mo can attest to. The weenie jokes are everywhere in this book and I did snort-giggle a time or two. Sometimes the grundge talk (how gooey those zombies really are) goes a little far for me so I don’t recommend eating while listening to this book. 4.5/5 stars.  The Narration: S. W. Salzman is pretty good for this series. The setting is Alabama so sometimes the accent was there and sometimes it was just a bit off for Book 1. But his Alabama accent was really good for the rest of the series. He had distinct voices for all the characters and his female voices were feminine. I especially like his voice for Hammer and for Mo’s mom. The pacing was perfect and there were no technical issues with this recording. 4.75/5 stars. 

You guys!!!

If you love zombies, juvenile humor, naked blue people, and gratuitous violence, this is the series for you! There are poop jokes and anatomy jokes to last you for days! I am 44 years old, and this is my third time listening to this series. Yes, I admit to having the humor of a teenaged boy. There. I said it. Fight me. Or, probably don't, since I would lose. But seriously, if you love to laugh at inappropriate jokes, appreciate the code of rednecks, and don't have a weak stomach, you should grab this bundle! Thank me later.