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Publisher's Summary

The 2018 updated version of the best-selling solution to grow your confidence, assertiveness and self-esteem.

Over 15 years of research led to Michelle Gates writing the original book in 2008 which has now been fully updated with the latest methods for 2018.

Cutting through the nonsense, this book offers a simple and easy-to-understand solution to growing your confidence, assertiveness and self-esteem. No fancy gimmicks, just solid and actionable advice.

Some of the topics covered in this book include:

  • Quickly and easily overcoming fear about social situations
  • Always knowing what to say
  • Building your self-esteem and confidence
  • Effective use of body language and reading other people
  • Relating to others with ease and confidence
  • How to be assertive in any situation

And so much more!

©2017 Michelle Gates (P)2017 Michelle Gates

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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So much better than expected

I expected to be yet another book the same as the rest but was very relieved to find this one was different as it got to the information very quickly. It was easy to understand yet a lot of advice and tips were pretty original. Great value for money...in that it is already providing a lot of value to my life.

15 of 18 people found this review helpful

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Helped me a lot.

I dont usually write reviews but i felt compelled to write one to recommend this book simply because of how much it has helped me. My confidence, self-esteem etc is now so much higher. I am more capable. And i am slowly but surely becoming a happier, healthier and calmer person.

14 of 17 people found this review helpful

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One of the most helpful books on confidence ever!

Confidence and self-esteem issues are common issues in America and most people feel inadequate either at home or at work. Self-confidence issues are prevalent even in the most unexpected places. I was quite surprised when I read in the book that Kate Winslet who is one of
the most famous actresses in history for her role in Titanic also suffered from self-confidence issues at some point in her life. It was quite an eye-opener as most of this book was.

The funny thing was that the book also opened my eyes to another issue related to confidence which is over-confidence which is apparently as severe a problem as self-confidence deficits. I think this appealed a lot to me because I never really saw myself as someone that had self-esteem problems. This was the most important thing that I learned from this book.

One of the things I have learned to do less of is self-criticism. Instead of paying so much attention to negative feedback, now I try my best to be the best that I can and be honest in my assessment of my performance. An advantage of that is that I now find more satisfaction in my work and efforts and I do not wait for people to comment before I feel good about myself. It helped me to start hurting myself less by driving towards unrealistic expectations. By not pressurizing myself too much and expending so much energy focusing on negative people.

Another thing I liked about the book was that one of the first exercises was an assessment that can help you know your self-confidence level. Assertiveness sometimes can be underrated as most people do not feel the need to stand up for themselves. This is one of the key messages of this book too. It explained what assertiveness should be and when
to be assertive. This is an important skill that we all need to master, especially those who are in managerial and other leadership positions.

After reading the book, one of the activities that I followed up with that the book recommended was writing the things in my life that I am grateful for and also the things that make me feel confident. I now try to review the list regularly and then see what new things
I can add to the list. I typically kept a personal journal right from when I was a teenager and now the book has shown me how to use that as a way to boost my self-confidence. Being my own cheerleader isn’t always easy when it seems like everyone is critical unnecessarily but thanks to the book, I can ignore them better and just be myself.

This book is universal, I recommend it for everyone that wants to improve their lives. I sure found it extremely useful.

14 of 17 people found this review helpful

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A life changing book

I got this book after seeing it recommended in various places and can sincerely say it has brought so many positive effects on my life. I previously had problems with shyness (at time even social anxiety), self-esteem issues and problems with how to make small-chat, how to communicate, how to talk to new people, how to be more confident. This book gave me such real world and easily applicable advice, all neatly explained. I was grateful it was not one of those pointless 18 hour books that drone on and on. I just wanted to get better and this book has set me well on the path. Highly highly recommended.

13 of 16 people found this review helpful

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Very happy i got this

I got this book for various reasons which i don't want to go into too much, but basically to help with low self-esteem issues and a feeling I did not know how to assert myself in many situations. I am able to handle myself so much better now and getting better everyday.

11 of 15 people found this review helpful

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Big fan

Big fan of this book, have now listened to it 3 times. Packed with a lot of useful advice and as other people have said, it is all easy to understand. Got a lot of unique tips from this. I liked the narrator, very engaging voice.

8 of 11 people found this review helpful

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Wonderful guide to taking control of your confidence

Surprisingly insightful, this book dives a much deeper into self confidence tools that other books I’ve read/listened to. The author touches on the standard techniques like confident posture, speaking with confidence, and dressing with confidence to grateful journals and NPL-mind training (Tony Robins style).

They make it very clear that there are several and the author/reader make it clear to utilize what works for you. What spoke most to me was the visualizing a “council ” that you assign different jobs to so you don’t personally have to keep worrying and feeling anxious about because your “counselors” have got your back.

Definitely worth the read!

12 of 17 people found this review helpful

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A great help

I already have this on kindle but decided to get it on audible too as I find it so useful. Getting it on audible is great as it allows me to listen to it anywhere, especially when i need confidence (such as on the way to work this morning). I found the narration a little annoying at times but nothing too major.

I like that the book was ultra practical and not just theory. I would have liked a little more on the assertiveness side but overall i am very impressed about how much is packed into this book.

6 of 9 people found this review helpful

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An interesting and informative Guide

Some of the advice i have heard before but i liked how it was framed in this book, made it a lot more interesting and easier to understand. Narration was a tiny bit annoying at times but nothing major. Overall i really enjoyed it and it is proving to be quite effective for me.

9 of 14 people found this review helpful

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Interesting take on confidence

A good bit different (in a good way) from other books like this. An interesting take on a much written about subject. Makes it a bit more clear. Im finding my confidence improving and finding myself finally being able to assert myself in different situations. Socially i am more capable of knowing who i am and being who i am.

3 of 5 people found this review helpful

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  • ListenEveryday
  • 10-25-17

Self-Esteem and Confidence improved

As my headline says, my self-esteem and confidence around other people has grown a lot since getting this book. I am more capable of handling myself in a variety of situations. I dont feel the same awkwardness or fear. This book has not overnight turned me into a super hero, but i can sincerely say it DID begin to help me almost immediately. Definitely recommended if you feel a little low in the confidence or self-esteem departments.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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  • Alice N.
  • 11-12-17

Entirely Relative & Highly Effective

The most relatable Self Help book I’ve ever listened to. The narrator really allows you to empower yourself through listening to this audiobook. It teaches you that a lack of confidence is actually beneficial for your success, and uses famous people to illustrate the success you can achieve in despite of your lower self-confidence.
It gives you an in depth understanding of your mind and the impact of low self-confidence before it shows you a series of strategies to improve your self-confidence. It’s full of light hearted humour, that helps make the audiobook even more relative. I like the sardonic use of humour that makes it an enjoyable listen as well as momentously beneficial.
If you’ve struggled with loss, toxic relationships, or experienced failure this book is the perfect solution to build up your self-esteem and it allows you to engage successfully with the world as well as being able to trust your own ability. It teaches that calmness is the key to mastering your new approach to self-confidence.
After I listened to this book I stopped constantly worrying every time I opened my mouth that I wouldn’t be able to say the right thing.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Martina
  • 11-27-17

So helpful

Such a helpful book in terms of making me a more confident and assertive person. My self esteem is getting better everyday. I loved it all, especially the simple steps to follow to improve different areas of life.

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  • David
  • 12-02-17

Great Book

This book was perfectly titled & followed through with practical advice & explanations for improving confidence & becoming more assertive.
I feel this is one of those books I will listen to often.