How to Win Friends & Influence People

By: Dale Carnegie

Narrated by: Andrew MacMillan

Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins

Publisher's summary

You can go after the job you want...and get it! You can take the job you have...and improve it! You can take any situation you're in...and make it work for you!

Simon & Schuster Audio is proud to present one of the best-selling books of all time, Dale Carnegie's perennial classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, presented here in its entirety.

For over 60 years the rock-solid, time-tested advice in this audiobook has carried thousands of now-famous people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives.

With this truly phenomenal audiobook, learn:

The six ways to make people like you

The twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking

The nine ways to change people without arousing resentment

And much, much more!

There is room at the top, when you know...How to Win Friends and Influence People.

©1936 Dale Carnegie; 1981 Donna Dale Carnegie and Dorothy Carnegie, all rights reserved; 1964 renewed Donna Dale Carnegie and Dorothy Carnegie (P)1988 Simon & Schuster Inc. All rights reserved. SOUNDIDEAS is an imprint of Simon & Schuster Audio Division, Simon & Schuster, Inc.

This is well worth listening too! Main points are.

Here are the main points of the book.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don't criticize.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

✦ Six ways to make people like you
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember a person's name.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

✦ Win people to your way of thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

✦ Be a Leader
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Thanks Ralph

The Reference Manual of Human Relations

The fact that this book was published in 1936 and is still a top seller today says a lot more than I can manage to convey in this review.

The book is filled with sound practical advice. It is probably the best book ever written on human relations. Anyone and everyone should find it to be a valuable guide, whether in personal, family, or business relationships. Despite the title, which some may consider overly aggressive by todays'standards, the practices discussed in the book are in no way manipulative. To the contrary, this book helps you learn the art and skill of conversation and persuasion through attentiveness to, and consideration of others.

This is not a story that you listen to once and get rid of it. It is a reference manual that you will be able to use and refer to for years to come. I own it in hardback, as well as on cassette (remember those?) so I was excited to see a digital version made available from Audible. I bought it immediately and now look forward to being able to enjoy it again and again on my MP3 player.

Don't judge by the title

The title doesn't do it justice. I was half expecting some slimeball manual of how to fake being a sympathetic person. On the contrary, this is a classic. Its message is that if you want to do well with people, you'd better become interested and considerate and pleasant to be around. The book tells you how, over and over, with principles and examples and anecdotes.

The book was written in 1936 and listening to the audio version is rather like watching an old black and white movie. It's a little corny nowadays, but in an extremely charming way. I found myself enjoying the politeness of a byegone age and looking forward to the next installment.

After listening once and becoming inspired, I requested a job upgrade, and my boss was smiling as he agreed. Wow! I was so shocked that I think I instantly forgot everything I learned. You bet I'll be coming back to study this one.

Oldy but a Goody

I read a lot of self help books and find most of them silly, formulaic, and/or unrealistic. This is perhaps the best self help book I have read, and was one of the first of the modern era. The tone is very straightforward and practical with enough detail to be useful but not at all boring. The suggestions seem trivial, yet, as the author points out repeatedly, they are actually unnatural to the vast majority and seldom practiced successful without attention and effort.

This books is dated (referring to contemporary characters that are no longer contemporary and may not be recognized by younger readers) but this does not distract very much from the core message of the book. See Ralph's review for an excellent outline of the suggestions in this book.

This book had leaped to the top of my favorite self help books, which also include Critical Conversations and Stumbling on Happiness. Most other self help books are either intrinsically worthless or subsumed by one of the above.

The narration was just about perfect with a very clear delivery and excellent positive tone without any sappiness.
I highly recommend this book to anyone, particularly young adult readers.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don't criticize.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

✦ Six ways to make people like you
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember a person's name.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

✦ Win people to your way of thinking
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

✦ Be a Leader
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Living Proof of its Sucess

I was given a copy of this book when I was 17 years old, by my friend "Mad Harry". In it he wrote "Call me when you are Famous". Well I am not famous, but did get to be a director of a large company in my mid 30's, and I have to say, without this book, I doubt if I would have made it. I am known for getting things done with minimum conflict. Listen to this, it is very polite and old fashioned now, but the principles of how to deal with people are every bit as valid as when this wonderful book was written.

So.............

Call me when you are famous!

S

Simply wonderful

Sometimes the classics just can't be beat. I took the Dale Carnegie course, and this book was required reading. It completely changed the way I deal with people, and the overall effect is astonishing. After reading the book, you'll be astonished as to how common-sensical the teachings are, but boy do they work.
I've had at least ten occasions over the past year where I had to deal with very difficult people who were bent on starting a fight or argument. When we were finished, in each case the other person heartily apologized for their behavior and thanked me for keeping a cool head about things. Most importantly though, is that I approached each of these encounters with the utmost confidence that I could handle this person, and this situation. I didn't feel even the slightest bit nervous or afraid. To encounter these types of situations feeling calm and confident is a rare gift that I now have. There is no way to put a price tag on that.
I plan to listen to, and read this book many times over my life. The lessons are invaluable. Don't wait another day before learning the secrets contained in this book.

Good for some situations

I went into this book with high expectations, as several people have said how much it helped them socially. I can't yet say whether it lived up to its reviews.

I think the book had a lot of good ideas. I expect I will try to use some of them, and actually already have. I especially liked the section on arguing (or not), and think national debates (not to mention local) might go a lot better if people applied the principles from this book.

It did seem to have its faults though. For one thing, it seemed kind of dated... I realize it was written in the 1930s, but it seems like human nature shouldn't have changed much since then, yet it feels like it has. For example, it's hard to imagine an owner of a large company giving you lots of his time and choosing your product over your competitors' just because you commented on something of interest to him (something that happens in about 25% of the book's examples). I recognize that this might be my limited experience though.

Also, it's pretty clear that this book is intended to help people with their business relations, rather than close personal relationships and such, though there are some points that apply to the latter. But in most of the examples, someone gets another to like them and secures a business deal or something out of it.

Though Mr. Carnegie stresses that sincerity is essential for his principles to work, it's hard, with all the examples ending in someone making out well business-wise, to keep that in mind, rather than thinking, "Okay, I just have to say what people want to hear; flatter them, pretend I'm interested in their interests, and they'll be eager to help me and do what I ask!" That's just a matter of how it's written though, I guess.

I will end by saying, again, that there are good points to be distilled out of the book, but it's not a complete and perfect guide to social interaction.

I should have read this years ago!

If you don't need this book, then chances are you don't talk to people. You do talk to people right? This book is well worth your time, if you don't learn anything from it then you probably have people skills to rival those of Charles Schwab or Abe Lincon.

I had heard about this book for years in various circles, in fact, I was even amused when it was referenced in the game "Baldurs Gate". I knew about it, yet I never took the time to read it. Well, I have now listened to it twice, and it will certanly get a third listening. I can't believe that I got this far in life and was unaware of some of the simple people skills presented in this work. Fortunately, I have done some of them naturally, and some have developed over time as I have grown up - still, had I had this book 20 years ago my life would have been a whole lot easier.

This book is not filled with "tricks" to get people to like you, rather, it is how to develop your own character so that people like you naturally, and you like them naturally as well. No "tricks" involved, but it certanly gives you better insight into the nature of people, and I can testify that it works incredibly well.

Pure Gold

I've listened to over 30 audio books. This is the best most practical book I've ever listened to. It works and it is not manipulation--pure gold.

Finally read the book!

I know it's a classic, but it is also very repetitive, drilling the same point home in 30 different ways. By the time you get halfway you kinda know what's expected of you:

It would be cool if they came out with a 2019 version featuring narration by somebody energetic like Gary Vaynerchuck and modern examples of the last 20-30 years.

Life changing

This book is amazing. It gives you examples of how people have managed different situations successfully and unsuccessfully. It explains the ways to influence people without being false but just being nice. I wish I had listed to this book 20 years ago. I have been captivated. I find myself unconsciously changing my behaviour, what a difference it has made when working with my staff or playing with my children.

True Classic

This is one of those books that you will hear people talking about and this is also one of those books that it took me 30 years to get round to reading. I wish that I had done so earlier. This book has greatly improved my outlook on life and I can handle situations in a far slicker and more helpful way than before. excellent book, I would recommend it to everyone.

Honestly, it's pretty hard going.

I understand why people would rate this so highly - the concepts and principles could definitely help you influence people in and around the workplace... but I do feel like some of the 'stories' are outdated now.

There are, what feels like, hundreds of stories to exemplify the principles, though they often sounded made up for the convenience of proving a point.

I tried reading the book a few years ago but gave up half way through. The audiobook is easier to listen to, but it still (almost) became a chore to listen to - especially towards the end when some principles and examples were repeated.

To summarise, I'd love for an updated version to be released - maybe using more modern and relevant examples, with a more enthused reader, and fewer 'stories' would be ideal.

Read every 10 years for an optimal life

I read this originally well over 30 years ago, and it is one of the books that has profoundly influenced my life. The essence is simply the golden rule: Do as to others as you would be done by. In a world where every one is (whether we like to admit it or not) out for themselves, it is still optimal to be loving and co-operative if you understand that life is essentially win-win: we gain ourselves by giving to others what they most want. And if they only give us back 80% of what they get, we are still both better off, because a lot of what we want (recognition, respect, affection) is FREE. So once this 'enlightened self-interest' gets a hold, out of the crooked stuff that man is made of, we find...we can all be happy! Read it, DC explains it better than I do.

I tried to be cynical....

...but after reading this book I realise that most of my failings in business and personal life are easily-explained. Within a week I have already seen positive changes in my relationships with people. It can't be this easy can it?

timeless advice

this book is timeless. it offers great insights and examples of human behaviour. the only criticsm would be that it mainly deals with office and business. otherwise a great suggestion from a friend

A MUST read...

The language is somewhat dated and some of the examples are quite amusing! It's rather difficult to see how such a book could work in such a cynical world!!

However, it does!

It's a great book - I'm on my second listen...

You can take one or more of the 15ish principles to change how you work/play with people.

I've already started to use some of the principles and I've seen rewards, especially in recognising good the work I see staff doing.

It's NOT rocket science. It's all basic pysychology, but it's well written(and well spoken!).

Give it a try!!

Excellent

Everyone should read this book - parents and children, managers and employees. Excellent and enjoyable.

You see results - fast !!!

This is no joke. I started this book being very cynical thinking you can have anecdotal tales that prove anything, and really this is such a "dated" book that it was probably a mistake buying it ...but something struck a chord as it is really well narrated and so I decided to put it to practice.

...at the risk of sounding like an anecdote from from the book .... I had recently been missold something at a large retail store and had been back 3 times, and got no joy. So, I wrote a letter looking at it from their point of view rather than mine. My usual letters would have been stern and objectionable and damning of their customer services, and usually I'd get back a response just as challenging, and this goes on for a while until I give up, or win the argument. Anyway, usuing the approach in this book which is so easy to follow, two days later, a phone call, with an apology, and a refund for £109...sorted. I tell you - I'm bought on this. Its also helped me settle a dispute with an awkward colleague who loves to argue. I settled the debate in one email - to my satisfaction - as opposed to 6 or 7 which it would usually take.

It's read in a very listen-able format and I echo the sentiments of the majority of reviews on here - listen to this - it will change your outlook on human behaviour, and take it from me...it works.

Wish I'd read this years ago

I honestly do wish I had read this years ago! Every parent, teacher, manager, supervisor- in fact every human being should read this book. I wonder how many relationships would have been saved if I had read this book as a young adult.