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Publisher's Summary

Are you too nice?

If you find it hard to be assertive, directly ask for what you want, or say "no" to others, then you just might be suffering from too much niceness.

In this controversial book, world-renowned confidence expert, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, takes an incisive look at the concept of nice. Through his typical style, Dr. Aziz uses engaging stories, humor, and disarming vulnerability to cut through the nice conditioning and liberate the most bold, expressive, authentic version of you.

You'll discover how to:

  • Easily say "no" when you want to and need to
  • Confidently and effectively ask for what you want
  • Speak up more freely in all your relationships
  • Eliminate feelings of guilt, anxiety, and worry about what others will think
©2017 Dr. Aziz Gazipura, PsyD (P)2017 Dr. Aziz Gazipura, PsyD

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Life Changing

There have been very few books that have changed my life and this is one of them. I am an old guy and if something like this was available to me when I was young I would have avoided decades of torment. Thank you Aziz for making a difference in me.

15 of 15 people found this review helpful

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Changed my life forever

You know its gonna be a good review whenever you see "I USUALLY DONT LEAVE REVIEWS BUT..."
Well this is one of those.

How was this book?
Short answer: Life-changing

Long answer: I've struggled with people pleasing, anxiety, low self esteem, and stuttering my whole life. I wanted to please everyone. Say yes to everyone. Say yes to nobody. Everybody else came before me. Someone asks me to help them move? HOW could I POSSIBLE say no? Because if I say no, then they won't like me any more right?
This is such a poisonous mindset, and this book REALLY elaborates on that.
In the first chapter, he tells you that his goal is for you to eventually see the term "Nice guy" and think of that as a terrible disgusting thing that you would never ever want to be. His goal was definitely accomplished by the end of that book. I was the biggest nice-guy/push-over that I knew. Everywhere. Work, school, relationships, you name it.
I have been completely transformed.
I see the words "nice-guy" and it induces nausea and repulsion. Ok maybe not to that extent. But I definitely don't see "nice-guy" the same as I used to. Not at all.

I can honestly say without a doubt, that I am now the MOST assertive person I know, and I mean that with all the honesty in my heart. I feel powerful, in control, less anxious, happier, and I even stutter less lol.
This book gives you a new pair of eyes that you can never close. You see things you never saw before. You realize just how much people apologize for ANYTHING that doesn't warrant an apology.

Example #1:
-I accidentally brush up against someones shoulder while walking in a hallway-

Old me: Sorry about that

New me: *silence*

What the hell do I have to apologize about? I didn't do ANYTHING wrong.

Example #2:
-A friend asks me to help them move-

Old me: I would love to! and you know I would! its just [I am now lying...] its just I have to take care of this thing at 5pm and I can't push it back any further.. Man this sucks, because I totally would help you move, I just can't today.

New me: I'll pass actually, I'm tired and I really just wanted to relax today.

This is now how I actually respond to requests like this.

I never thought I could be capable of being so assertive, confident, and in control. I used to come across obviously assertive people and be jealous, even resentful toward them because I wished I could be like them. I wished I could have their confidence.
I now consider myself to be more assertive than the most assertive person I've ever met. Those people who I used to be jealous of? I don't consider them to be as assertive as I am now. My family and friends notice that radical change. I make saying no look easy.
And it is honestly VERY easy now. I now say no to people with no guilt. This book teaches you how to do that.

BUT WARNING:
The steps in becoming this way are VERY uncomfortable at first. Dr.Aziz gives you all the steps you need and outlines all the exercises for you, but you HAVE to do them in order to change. There's no other way. You can't just read this book and become transformed. Not gonna happen.
The only way to become the assertive person that you want to be is by DOING it. Follow the steps. They are SO UNCOMFORTABLE AT FIRST. But it really does get easier with time.
The first exercise, when I did it, I was so incredibly uncomfortable I wanted to hide lol. Now looking back, doing that exercise again seems effortless to me now.
But that's just the thing, you NEED to be willing to go through the discomfort. If you're not willing to do that, don't by this book. Honestly. But if you're willing to go through the discomfort, this book will absolutely change your life forever.

This book as made me incredibly assertive, REALLY spiked my confidence, lowered my anxiety, and even lessened my stuttering. And it goes away more and more every day.

If there is one thing in my entire life I could change, it would be reading this book much earlier in my life.

28 of 30 people found this review helpful

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Better than excellent!

I never leave reviews, but this goes to show you what a great impact this book had on me .

Very good, I learned a lot from this book, more so than any other book I've ever read.

I even created my Bill of Rights and I live by those. it is my great pleasure to recommend this book and its author.

22 of 24 people found this review helpful

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Long and very helpful!

I listened to the entire book . . . OmG like 18 hours and did about half of the exercises. I really believe that Dr. Aziz put his heart and soul into this book, to help the reader become a more confident and authentic human being.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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This book isn’t in order!!!

The chapters don’t show up and they are OUT OF ORDER! Fix this please! Loved the book hate how horribly audible is executed for all the books I buy!

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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Life Changing

You can be a kind person, but that doesn't mean you should be a 'nice person'. If you would like to understand this then read/listen to this book. It will change your life.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Nice book by Dr Aziz but too long

Nice book by Dr Aziz it's good book but too long and should write new book very very soon

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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great addition to my library

this book was written for me
I am a "nice guy"
now starting my recovery
I am using this book as my go to book
and immediately seeing great results

Thank You
Dr Aziz

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Exceeded My Expectations

Would you listen to Not Nice again? Why?

Absolutely. I was pleasantly surprised how helpful this was. Lot's of "AH HA!" moments. I'll be referencing back to the content many times I'm sure.

Who was your favorite character and why?

The author himself.

Which character – as performed by Dr. Aziz Gazipura PsyD – was your favorite?

Again, the author himself.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

How to instantly take control of your life and happiness.

Any additional comments?

This was a real revelation. I think I'm getting a handle on controlling my time now and it feels great. I thought it would mean being a jerk, but once you understand it correctly you see it's not that at all. Great stuff!

8 of 10 people found this review helpful

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Can please someone answer this question??

I am in part two of this book where he says he is going to tell me what to do to be ‘not nice’ but so far it’s just all anecdotes and telling me how important it is to be not nice but not how to do it. What section /time in the book does he start telling us what to do????

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

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  • Juaneezy
  • 01-16-18

Excellent Book

The best self help book I've come across dealing with social anxiety & confidence 5*

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Miss L.
  • 11-25-18

life changing

this book has totally changed how I think and helped me in so many ways

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 10-15-18

Fantastic listen with easy to follow instructions

I really enjoyed listening to this book. Dr Aziz uses anecdotal examples throughout this book, which I think helps keep the engagement. If you fell to you are constantly putting other people first, then this book is a must!

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  • Michelle Robert
  • 07-24-18

Perfect voice to listen to

You can listen to him forever! Just a wonderfully engaging voice. Very useful techniques to apply through useful journalling. I learnt a lot from your stories. It's just a little long winded at times.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Josh
  • 05-01-18

Best Self Help to grow your confidence

If your looking for quick book to read and then at the end of the book wham! your a self confident person and motivated person. This book is definately NOT for you as your probably never going to get anywhere anyway. This is an eye opening book to realise the pitfalls of being nice and the steps to make a change.Ive found this book tremendously helpful inspite of the long read.But everything is so important and needed to help you understand why you try to be nice and why it isnt good. If your looking for a quick read motivationaal book ,skip this one but if you need to make a change and get more confident this is the book !! Reading through this book is as painful (because of the truth behing the nice person mask) as making the painful change but well worth it.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Sejal
  • 04-04-18

Long and self indulgent

This audiobook is made excessively long (18hrs) by the authors autobiographical style of recounting many stories of his own life when explaining a point.
I found it hard to keep going with it as it just seemed never ending without going anywhere. Not for me.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • ayman
  • 09-02-18

The worth book I have ever listened to

Useless long book, this book could be summarized in 4 hours and the rest is just marketing for the author , repeating the same ideas many times and even marketing his website !!!
It’s a book that can’t even be sold as cheap couching talks , on top of that it has tones of useless stories about the author and his family where he tries to be funny !!
If u just listen to a few very videos on YouTube would be better than this book
Horrible book

0 of 1 people found this review helpful