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How to Be Yourself

Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety
Narrated by: Ellen Hendriksen
Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (375 ratings)

Regular price: $27.99

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Publisher's Summary

How to Be Yourself is the best audiobook you'll ever listen to about how to conquer social anxiety.

"...a groundbreaking road map to finally being your true, authentic self." - Susan Cain, New York Times and USA Today best-selling author of Quiet

Up to 40% of people consider themselves shy. You might say you're introverted or awkward, or that you're fine around friends but just can't speak up in a meeting or at a party. Maybe you're usually confident but have recently moved or started a new job, only to feel isolated and unsure.

If you get nervous in social situations - meeting your partner's friends, public speaking, standing awkwardly in the elevator with your boss - you've probably been told, "Just be yourself!" But that's easier said than done - especially if you're prone to social anxiety.

Weaving together cutting-edge science, concrete tips, and the compelling stories of real people who have risen above their social anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen proposes a groundbreaking idea: you already have everything you need to succeed in any unfamiliar social situation. As someone who lives with social anxiety, Dr. Hendriksen has devoted her career to helping her clients overcome the same obstacles she has.

With familiarity, humor, and authority, Dr. Hendriksen takes the listener through the roots of social anxiety and why it endures, how we can rewire our brains through our behavior, and - at long last - exactly how to quiet your Inner Critic, the pesky voice that whispers, "Everyone will judge you." Using her techniques to develop confidence, think through the buzz of anxiety, and feel comfortable in any situation, you can finally be your true, authentic self.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.

©2018 Ellen Hendriksen (P)2018 Macmillan Audio

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"Life" Changing

First off, I don't write reviews. I don't have the time. But the audio version of this book has made me such a braver, better person, I felt compelled to add a review so it might help someone else like me. For once, I'm not afraid and I feel like I'm living and not just going through the motions. I chose this book because of the title. I do feel like a fake most of the time. Always saying or acting the way I think others would expect me too. I remember my Mom being hyper aware of how others viewed her and her family and I picked up on that and didn't even realize. I didn't know I had social anxiety, but every example in this book sounded like me. I don't sleep well because I'll wake up in the middle of the night replaying things I did during the day. Things I could have done or said better than I did. And then the stress kicks in and the next thing I know I've laid awake for two hours pondering something that should have not been given a second thought. This book made me aware of what I was doing and I am falling back asleep quicker than ever before. It also gave me several different tools to help overcome my negative thoughts. And for once, it's not unrealistic tools that don't work. For once, they are working. Now when I start to replay a scenario, I think about Ellen's "movie theatre" scenario. And if that doesn't work. I put my inner critic on trial. A bonus was her chapter on "how to make friends." I've always avoided relationships for fear that someone would find out I'm not who I really am. But now I feel compelled to connect with someone on a friendship level. I highly recommend purchasing the audio version of this book. Ellen does a phenomenal job narrating and I honestly feel like I was sitting in her office at times. But instead of paying $$$ for a therapy session, I got so much more by purchasing this book. If you ever feel awkward in any type of social situation, you must read/listen to the book. It's a game/life changer.

24 of 26 people found this review helpful

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Best book on social anxiety I have come across!

loved it!! I came across this book at a very difficult time in my life. I have suffered from anxiety for 18yrs. That combined with hard situations in life I was at a very lost point. The stories in this book felt familiar and the lessons and advise felt real and tangible. I have started applying things I have learned in this book to the way I do and handle things and for the first time in a long time I truly feel better. I am not cured but after this book I feel more determined to learn more, live more and figure out how to work with who I am so I can finally live my best life. If you have Social Anxiety, read this book!!! Or listen to this book, just get it in asap so you can start your healing process.. I'm on my way and this book was a clear starting point for me!

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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Exactly what I needed

I’ve read several books on social anxiety, but of all of them, this one feels like it was written just for me. Ellen Hendriksen gets it. If you have social anxiety I highly highly recommend reading this book.

Before buying the book I read some comments about the author wanting to change introverts but that’s just not the case at all. I even looked for any indication that that’s what she was doing but couldn’t find it. I’m not quite sure where those comments are coming from so please don’t let that keep you from giving this book a shot.

Mrs. Hendriksen, thank you for writing this book. It’s everything I needed to hear and changed the way I looked at many things. Every chapter was perfect but the final chapter on popularity really struck me. I’m 37 and am not as concerned with popularity as I was when I was 16 years old but I teared up during that chapter. I’m planning to share it with my two children as, even in elementary school, popularity is already a concern.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Life-changing

I have always struggled with having a conversation, even with the closest people in my life. Funny enough, the only people I am quite confident talking to are my brother and sister who I have spent a lot of time with. But, yes, I fumble through conversations, trying to speak the right words and in the process sound gibberish.. which makes me more anxious and sweaty and freaked out. This book has literally pushed me out of my comfort zone and into what I dread the most, conversations. Midway through this book, I walked out of my room and struck a conversation with a student sitting in the lounge. I cared not how awkward I looked. It was the most eye opening, genuine conversation I have ever had in a long, long while. I can't wait to meet new people and challenge myself in the very situations that limited me in the past(rather it's I who limited myself)... As a matter of fact, I came out of it feeling AWESOME! I highly recommend this audiobook to anyone who has faced social anxiety in their life for whatever reasons. I would have loved to highlight my reasons for my anxiety now but I am learning as the day goes by. I will update this comment accordingly when I have established those reasons sufficiently.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Just be you- just be kind

This book was easy to listen too with many helpful tips on how to be yourself

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Lots of filling

The useful information can be summed up in 2 pages but of course you need 200 pages to publish a book.

I recommend you to google "social anxiety treatment" and any of the first websites sums up all the useful information presented in this book

13 of 20 people found this review helpful

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Listened Two Times in a Row

I was very impressed by this book. Honestly, it was really the first audiobook I have really listened to all the way through (normally I avoid it because the narrator's bug me:D) and I enjoyed it so much I listened two times right in a row to make sure I didn't miss anything. The author does a great job explaining things, helping you feel better about what you're going through and helps you realize it's not abnormal. Gives you ways to work through your anxiety and gives you hope that things are fixable. She does a great job reading it too- fun, calm, not-annoying narration. I have no doubt I'll be listening again at some point. Thank you, Dr. Hendriksen!

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and my way to b a better me

I went thru this book so quick it was great. I will be re reading this book when necessary

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simple but powerful

I loved every minute of this book, with simple examples of overcoming the mountains of inner criticism, but also appreciating the positives that come from being introverted and socially awkward.

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Great advice.

it addressed everything I've been dealing with for years. It's a very helpful book if you've been dealing with social anxiety.

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  • Mcehudson
  • 04-11-18

A great read

Humorous, well written and scientifically based self help book. A great read for anyone who suffers from anxiety with lots of tools to help you get back on track. Loved it.

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-04-18

Amazing book

All the way from the beginning to end of this book, I found amazing advices, relatable examples, interesting stories and very clear and comprehensive theoretical frameworks. The boom is read with a very cheerful voice and the message is delivered very positively. Bringing all these elements together helped me to fully understand the message and to easily apply the advices.

This book is great for everyone who wants to go out there and just be yourself with ease.

Huge well done to the author!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Phoebe
  • 04-14-18

sooo relatable

what i needed to change my perespective on social anxiety and take away the stigma.

5 of 6 people found this review helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 02-11-19

Life changing listen!

After suffering with what I didn’t understand to be social anxiety for over 10 years. This book has helped to guide me towards a place I never thought I would find again. It has hit on many nerves and opened up a whole new world that I had shut myself away from.

I am sharing my learnings from this with others it’s a gift that keeps on giving.

Can’t thank the author enough! I feel like I have a second chance to live my life and be happy.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • surreymum
  • 10-17-18

Fully recommend - the best Social Anxiety resource I have come across

Having utilised many resources on the topic of social anxiety, this book is the first that really felt like it was talking to me. Dr Hendriksen’s relaxed and humorous approach made it very easy to listen to the audiobook and it is backed throughout by scientific research which makes the insights and tools extremely credible. It has helped me understand myself better and there are many “ah ha” moments throughout. It doesn’t claim to cure social anxiety and convert you to a confident extrovert, but to help you recognise and manage Social Anxiety and to stop it controlling aspects of your life. If, like me, you’ve struggled to find a resource that really helps you understand why you struggle to be yourself in group or social situations and how to deal with it, then I recommend this book.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Ruder Than You
  • 04-02-19

Annoying narration and slow to the point

One of those self help books full of stories about “Jim” and “Brenda” when what you’re looking for is precise instruction

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  • Darren
  • 03-23-19

A fantastic book

Such a brilliant book. A refreshing approach to managing social anxiety! Just what I needed.

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  • Andrei Lyashko
  • 03-23-19

The best insight I had into my-self

I couldn't have hoped to find a better book about my own psychology. Great narrator, great content, highly recommended.

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  • Naomi Lynham
  • 03-19-19

Helpful and relatable

How to be yourself is a great book that has helped me start to overcome my social anxiety. The first part of the book is undeniably relatable and it felt so good to know that what I had been feeling for so many years was understood by someone. I recommend this book if you finally want to change and get over your social anxiety.

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  • Viktoria
  • 01-23-19

A good book overall

I liked it, though I found some of her leeeeeengthy descriptions of insignificant elements during story telling annoying. Too much "literature" for me personally. I kept thinking" get to point of research, please!" The author has a very sweet, kind voice, in the audible version she almost sounds as if she's explaining things to children. Apart from these small details, overall worth listening to.

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  • Penny Evangelou
  • 01-29-19

This has helped so much

I can’t thank this wonderful woman enough for perfectly encapsulating day to day social anxiety and finally providing real life non-fluff tips on how to deal with it so you are thriving not just surviving. Couldn’t recommend it more highly.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-16-18

Life without social anxiety...there really is hope

I've just finished listening to "How to Be Yourself" and have come away feeling like I really can conquer the social anxieties in my life. No longer must I dream of some magical potion to live a true and meaningful life, free of self-imposed restrictions. Ellen has shown me that I can have this life, while being my very real self - no changing fundamental aspects of me, but rather shedding the protective and defensive (yet unhealthy) habits I have unknowingly relied on, in order to reveal to the world my already wonderful self. Thank you Ellen Hendriksen for showing me the way, and the science behind it. A recommended read for all people.