• How to Be Yourself

  • Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety
  • By: Ellen Hendriksen
  • Narrated by: Ellen Hendriksen
  • Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (1,434 ratings)

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How to Be Yourself

By: Ellen Hendriksen
Narrated by: Ellen Hendriksen
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Publisher's summary

How to Be Yourself is the best audiobook you'll ever listen to about how to conquer social anxiety.

"...a groundbreaking road map to finally being your true, authentic self." - Susan Cain, New York Times and USA Today best-selling author of Quiet

Up to 40% of people consider themselves shy. You might say you're introverted or awkward, or that you're fine around friends but just can't speak up in a meeting or at a party. Maybe you're usually confident but have recently moved or started a new job, only to feel isolated and unsure.

If you get nervous in social situations - meeting your partner's friends, public speaking, standing awkwardly in the elevator with your boss - you've probably been told, "Just be yourself!" But that's easier said than done - especially if you're prone to social anxiety.

Weaving together cutting-edge science, concrete tips, and the compelling stories of real people who have risen above their social anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen proposes a groundbreaking idea: you already have everything you need to succeed in any unfamiliar social situation. As someone who lives with social anxiety, Dr. Hendriksen has devoted her career to helping her clients overcome the same obstacles she has.

With familiarity, humor, and authority, Dr. Hendriksen takes the listener through the roots of social anxiety and why it endures, how we can rewire our brains through our behavior, and - at long last - exactly how to quiet your Inner Critic, the pesky voice that whispers, "Everyone will judge you." Using her techniques to develop confidence, think through the buzz of anxiety, and feel comfortable in any situation, you can finally be your true, authentic self.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.

©2018 Ellen Hendriksen (P)2018 Macmillan Audio

Featured Article: The Best Audiobooks for Soothing Anxiety


The care of family, friends, and a trusted therapist, practicing mindfulness, engaging in calming hobbies like yoga, journaling, walking in nature, or listening to music—these are just a few of the strategies that can ease the overwhelm. We’ve handpicked some of the best audiobooks that can soothe the symptoms of anxiety, break patterns of negative or unhealthy thought, and help ground or comfort you when things get tough.

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What listeners say about How to Be Yourself

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"Life" Changing

First off, I don't write reviews. I don't have the time. But the audio version of this book has made me such a braver, better person, I felt compelled to add a review so it might help someone else like me. For once, I'm not afraid and I feel like I'm living and not just going through the motions. I chose this book because of the title. I do feel like a fake most of the time. Always saying or acting the way I think others would expect me too. I remember my Mom being hyper aware of how others viewed her and her family and I picked up on that and didn't even realize. I didn't know I had social anxiety, but every example in this book sounded like me. I don't sleep well because I'll wake up in the middle of the night replaying things I did during the day. Things I could have done or said better than I did. And then the stress kicks in and the next thing I know I've laid awake for two hours pondering something that should have not been given a second thought. This book made me aware of what I was doing and I am falling back asleep quicker than ever before. It also gave me several different tools to help overcome my negative thoughts. And for once, it's not unrealistic tools that don't work. For once, they are working. Now when I start to replay a scenario, I think about Ellen's "movie theatre" scenario. And if that doesn't work. I put my inner critic on trial. A bonus was her chapter on "how to make friends." I've always avoided relationships for fear that someone would find out I'm not who I really am. But now I feel compelled to connect with someone on a friendship level. I highly recommend purchasing the audio version of this book. Ellen does a phenomenal job narrating and I honestly feel like I was sitting in her office at times. But instead of paying $$$ for a therapy session, I got so much more by purchasing this book. If you ever feel awkward in any type of social situation, you must read/listen to the book. It's a game/life changer.

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74 people found this helpful

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Best book on social anxiety I have come across!

loved it!! I came across this book at a very difficult time in my life. I have suffered from anxiety for 18yrs. That combined with hard situations in life I was at a very lost point. The stories in this book felt familiar and the lessons and advise felt real and tangible. I have started applying things I have learned in this book to the way I do and handle things and for the first time in a long time I truly feel better. I am not cured but after this book I feel more determined to learn more, live more and figure out how to work with who I am so I can finally live my best life. If you have Social Anxiety, read this book!!! Or listen to this book, just get it in asap so you can start your healing process.. I'm on my way and this book was a clear starting point for me!

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37 people found this helpful

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Life-changing

I have always struggled with having a conversation, even with the closest people in my life. Funny enough, the only people I am quite confident talking to are my brother and sister who I have spent a lot of time with. But, yes, I fumble through conversations, trying to speak the right words and in the process sound gibberish.. which makes me more anxious and sweaty and freaked out. This book has literally pushed me out of my comfort zone and into what I dread the most, conversations. Midway through this book, I walked out of my room and struck a conversation with a student sitting in the lounge. I cared not how awkward I looked. It was the most eye opening, genuine conversation I have ever had in a long, long while. I can't wait to meet new people and challenge myself in the very situations that limited me in the past(rather it's I who limited myself)... As a matter of fact, I came out of it feeling AWESOME! I highly recommend this audiobook to anyone who has faced social anxiety in their life for whatever reasons. I would have loved to highlight my reasons for my anxiety now but I am learning as the day goes by. I will update this comment accordingly when I have established those reasons sufficiently.

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28 people found this helpful

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Lots of filling

The useful information can be summed up in 2 pages but of course you need 200 pages to publish a book.

I recommend you to google "social anxiety treatment" and any of the first websites sums up all the useful information presented in this book

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22 people found this helpful

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Enjoyable listen about social anxiety

Just want to start off this review in response to a couple other reviews. I’m not too sure why they put that this book is trying to change introverts into extroverts, but there is a whole section on the difference between introversion and social anxiety and how being an introvert affects your social anxiety. The author even says she doesn’t want to change who you are as a person. She wants to help you overcome your anxiety.

This book was really eye opening in the sense of how many other people in this world have social anxiety. The author has great examples and some good suggestions to slowly challenge yourself to help overcome being anxious by confronting the problem head on and I look forward to trying them out. I would definitely recommend this book!

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18 people found this helpful

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dreadful narration

This may have been a good gook but after suffering through the first 20 min I had to give the book back due to the terribly annoying piercing voice of the narrator who happens to be the author.

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14 people found this helpful

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Best book on Social Anxiety ever!

This is by far the best book on Social Anxiety I have ever come across, and I’ve read quite a few! As someone with both a degree in Clinical Psychology and somebody who has dealt with Social Anxiety herself, I found this to be both enlightening and full of useful and practical advice.

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Cute

This writer is really sweet, but she's describing being anxious about having too much milk in her cart.

If you're anxious because of ptsd, or deep rooted shame, these tactics are overly simple. A lot of this doesn't resonate with me, because while she says anxiety decreases as we get older and stop caring, mine increased as I was exposed to more and more hurt and consequences. Her answer is to just go out there and see that it's not that bad... But that's why I'm like this. It is infact that bad.

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Exactly what I needed

I’ve read several books on social anxiety, but of all of them, this one feels like it was written just for me. Ellen Hendriksen gets it. If you have social anxiety I highly highly recommend reading this book.

Before buying the book I read some comments about the author wanting to change introverts but that’s just not the case at all. I even looked for any indication that that’s what she was doing but couldn’t find it. I’m not quite sure where those comments are coming from so please don’t let that keep you from giving this book a shot.

Mrs. Hendriksen, thank you for writing this book. It’s everything I needed to hear and changed the way I looked at many things. Every chapter was perfect but the final chapter on popularity really struck me. I’m 37 and am not as concerned with popularity as I was when I was 16 years old but I teared up during that chapter. I’m planning to share it with my two children as, even in elementary school, popularity is already a concern.

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could not listen to the whole audio! so boring!

the audio book was so boring and unrelatable. the stories and the wau it was told was unbearably boring. The narrator voice was horrible. very disappointed

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