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Crash and Burn
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- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
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Publisher's summary
At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him - from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends.
Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam. He never made the party, but instead used the trip as an opportunity to hole up in his hotel room with a prostitute and do drugs.By turns dark and harrowing, hilarious and poignant, and always drop-dead honest, Crash and Burn is a blow-by-blow account of Lange's years of addiction, a suicide attempt (which he relates in terrifying detail), hitting rock bottom, stints in rehab, and painful relapses. With the help and support of friends and family, Lange manages to recover and get his life and career back on track. And despite his slip-ups, backslides, and permanent losses, Artie Lange forges on.
From drugs to sports to falling in love, Lange tells all in Crash and Burn, the story of his life that is as shocking as it is funny, ever tempered by his characteristic humor, self-awareness, and inimitable way with words.
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By: Amber Tozer
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Mustaine
- A Heavy Metal Memoir
- By: Dave Mustaine, Joe Layden
- Narrated by: Tom Wayland
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
James Hetfield, with whom many years ago Mustaine founded a band known as Metallica, once observed, with some incredulity, that Mustaine must have been born with a horseshoe up his ass. That's how lucky he's been, how fortunate he is to be pulling breath after so many close calls. And Hetfield is right. Mustaine has been lucky. He has been blessed. But here's the thing about having a horseshoe lodged in your rectum: It also hurts like hell. And you never forget it's there.
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peace sells...I'm buying!!!
- By michael on 09-19-10
By: Dave Mustaine, and others
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The Todd Glass Situation
- A Bunch of Lies about My Personal Life and a Bunch of True Stories about My 30-Year Career in Standup Comedy
- By: Todd Glass, Jonathan Grotenstein
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn't have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results. Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone - young and old, gay and straight - breathe a little more freely.
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Worth It
- By Heather on 11-17-14
By: Todd Glass, and others
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Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
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Bare Bones
- I'm Not Lonely If You're Reading This Book
- By: Bobby Bones
- Narrated by: Bobby Bones
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Growing up poor in Mountain Pine, Arkansas, with a young, addicted mom, Bobby Estell fell in love with country music. Abandoned by his father at the age of five, Bobby saw the radio as his way out - a dream that came true in college when he went on air at the Henderson State University campus station broadcasting as Bobby Bones while simultaneously starting The Bobby Bones Show at 105.9 KLAZ.
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A look inside the narcissist life of Bobby Bones.
- By Selena on 05-20-16
By: Bobby Bones
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Save Me from Myself
- How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story
- By: Brian "Head" Welch
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 6 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In February 2005, more than 10,000 people in Bakersfield, California, watched as Brian “Head” Welch—the former lead guitarist of the controversial rock band Korn—was saved by Jesus Christ. The event set off a media frenzy as observers from around the world sought to understand what led this rock star out of the darkness and into the light.
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Another Way
- By jerry on 04-22-14
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I'm the One That I Want
- By: Margaret Cho
- Narrated by: Margaret Cho
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
I'm the One That I Want, based on her show of the same name, is filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude, of flowing with the highs and lows of life, and of creating one's own identity and acceptance. It is every bit as hilarious, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
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Hilarious and deeply engrossing
- By Ling on 04-10-03
By: Margaret Cho
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Has Anyone Seen My Pants?
- By: Sarah Colonna
- Narrated by: Sarah Colonna
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Has Anyone Seen My Pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America (and Mexico!) with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts. From a fling-gone-wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah's signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart - not to mention your pants.
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clearance shelf material
- By lisa martinez on 04-28-15
By: Sarah Colonna
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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How to Be a Man
- (and Other Illusions)
- By: Duff McKagan
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Duff McKagan is one of the most respected survivors in hard rock. In How to Be a Man, he shares the wisdom he gained on the path to superstardom - from his time with Guns N' Roses and Velvet Revolver to getting sober after a life of hard living to achieving his personal American dream of marrying a supermodel, raising a family, and experiencing what it's like to be winked at by Prince.
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Overly dramatic reader.
- By CB on 01-07-17
By: Duff McKagan
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Pain Killer
- A Memoir of Big League Addiction
- By: Brantt Myhres, Michael Landsberg - foreword
- Narrated by: Brantt Myhres, Michael Landsberg
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Brantt Myhres wasn't around for the birth of his daughter. Myhres had played for seven different NHL teams, and had made millions. But he'd been suspended four times, all for drug use, and he had partied his way out of the league. This is his story, in his own words, of how he fought his way out of minor hockey into the big league, but never left behind the ghosts of a bleak and troubled childhood.
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I love hockey.
- By Brew2go on 06-14-21
By: Brantt Myhres, and others
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No Turning Back
- One Man's Inspiring True Story of Courage, Determination, and Hope
- By: Bryan Anderson, David Mack, Gary Sinise - foreward
- Narrated by: Bryan Anderson, Gary Sinise - foreward
- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The word conquer has changed meaning for Bryan Anderson. As a U.S. army sergeant in Iraq, it meant taking down the enemy. After becoming Iraq’s fourth triple amputee from a roadside explosive, what he had to conquer got a bit more personal. On October 23, 2005, the moment Bryan looked down and realized he no longer had legs, he cracked a joke. It was a tragedy that could break many, but Bryan transformed it into something positive, something that propelled him forward.
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What Heroes are made of
- By Emmaus Dan on 08-03-17
By: Bryan Anderson, and others
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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For the first time, Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling opens up about his life as a cast member and head writer for the comedy powerhouse The Howard Stern Show. In The Joke Man: Bow to Stern, Jackie tells of his beginnings as a working comedian and writer and his climb to the top on The Howard Stern Show. Jackie saw it all, and in The Joke Man: Bow to Stern he shares personal stories as well a look from behind the scenes at one of the highest-rated radio shows of all time.
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Bert Kreischer doesn't know how to say "no." If he did, he wouldn't have gotten himself mixed up with a group of Russian mobsters on a class trip to Moscow, earning him his nickname: "The Machine." He wouldn't have wrestled with a bear or swum with sharks on national television. He wouldn't have (possibly) smoked PCP with a star of Saturday Night Live. And he wouldn't have been named the Number One Partier in the Nation by Rolling Stone, inspired the movie National Lampoon's Van Wilder, or performed standup to sellout crowds across the country.
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Fart Chrysler
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Free on Spotify
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Story
Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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Professional Idiot
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Overall
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Fame can be addictive. From his early days videotaping crazy skateboard stunts to starring in the blockbuster Jackass franchise, there was little that Stephen “Steve-O” Glover wouldn’t do for attention. Whether it was stapling his nutsack to his leg, diving into a pool full of elephant crap, or routinely risking death invading the private lives of sharks, lions, tigers, and bears, almost nothing was out of bounds. And as the stunts got crazier, his life kept pace.
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Steve-O narrates 1st 53mins then you get a new guy
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Fast Food Maniac
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Overall
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The charismatic radio personality from The Howard Stern Show celebrates what we love about American fast food, covering chains both national and regional and offering an opinionated view on restaurant history, secret menu items, and even drive-thru strategy.
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Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing (German Edition)
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Durch sein Mitwirken in der US-Kultserie "FRIENDS" erreichte der Schauspieler Matthew Perry Weltruhm. Erstmals erzählt er nun seine eigene Geschichte und berichtet ungeschönt von seinem Aufwachsen als Scheidungskind, einem unsteten Leben zwischen Kanada und Kalifornien, Humor als Coping-Mechanismus, dem steilen Aufstieg als Schauspieler - und seinem schwindelerregenden Fall, bedingt durch Alkohol und Drogen. Ein Hörbuch, das die Magie von "FRIENDS" heraufbeschwört, zu Tränen rührt und ungeahnte Einblicke in ein bewegtes Leben erlaubt.
By: Matthew Perry, and others
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Dirty Daddy
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing
- A Memoir
- By: Matthew Perry
- Narrated by: Matthew Perry
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Overall
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The beloved star of Friends takes us behind the scenes of the hit sitcom and his struggles with addiction in this candid, funny, and revelatory memoir that delivers a powerful message of hope and persistence. In an extraordinary story that only he could tell, Matthew Perry takes listeners onto the soundstage of the most successful sitcom of all time while opening up about his private struggles with addiction. Candid, self-aware, and told with his trademark humor, Perry vividly details his lifelong battle with the disease and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all.
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Mad at myself for getting sucked in
- By betty on 11-03-22
By: Matthew Perry
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A Hard Kick in the Nuts
- What I've Learned from a Lifetime of Terrible Decisions
- By: Stephen "Steve-O" Glover, David Peisner - contributor
- Narrated by: Stephen "Steve-O" Glover
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
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Overall
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Steve-O is best known for his wildly dangerous, foolish, painful, embarrassing, and sometimes death-defying stunts. At age 48, however, he faces his greatest challenge yet: getting older. A Hard Kick in the Nuts: What I’ve Learned from a Lifetime of Terrible Decisions is a captivating exploration of life and how to live it by an individual who has already lived way more than a lifetime’s worth of extreme experiences. Steve-O grapples with the right balance between maturity and staying true to yourself, avoiding selfishness, and finding the right partner for life.
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Professional Idiot: Leftovers
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By: Stephen "Steve-O" Glover, and others
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Save Me from Myself
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In February 2005, more than 10,000 people in Bakersfield, California, watched as Brian “Head” Welch—the former lead guitarist of the controversial rock band Korn—was saved by Jesus Christ. The event set off a media frenzy as observers from around the world sought to understand what led this rock star out of the darkness and into the light.
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Whatever You Say I Am
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On assignment for his first cover story for Rolling Stone, the very first national cover story on Eminem, Anthony Bozza met a young blond kid, a rapper who would soon take the country by storm. But back in 1999, Eminem was just beginning to make waves among suburban white teenagers as his first single, “My Name Is,” went into heavy rotation on MTV. Who could have predicted that in a mere two years, Eminem would become the most reviled and controversial hip-hop figure ever? Or that twelve months after that, Eminem would sit firmly at the pinnacle of American celebrity.
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Not really all about Em
- By cosand on 09-20-11
By: Anthony Bozza
What listeners say about Crash and Burn
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- Hilary
- 11-07-13
[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
About the narrator: For me, Too Fat to Fish in audio format was epic until Artie quit and allowed others to finish narrating his book. With Crash and Burn, Artie didn't even bother and contracted a hired gun. His choice of a narrator is puzzling - Artie's foul mouth, talk of prostitutes and drugs of epic proportions sound completely unnatural coming from Sean Runnette's mouth. A large percentage of Artie's charm is his delivery. NO ONE can tell an Artie story like Artie! So, the listener definitely loses here. Artie, for the love of GOD - read your own books - you are FANTASTIC at it!
Hard to be critical of a phoenix attempting to rise from the ashes, but this book stumbled and fell on its face (however, not nearly as many times as Artie has).
With or without drugs, Artie is a selfish guy. He is admittedly greedy, self-absorbed and was until recently (I think he is sober?) on a path of destruction that should have taken his life. The people that stood by him for the 5+ years he discusses in this book should be up for sainthood. I'm not making light of drug addiction or the gravity of clinical depression. Both are serious, combined are deadly, but this book goes into tremendous repetitive detail. About halfway through the book, it became annoyingly predictable: noncommittal attempts at sobriety, fists full of lies and plunges back into the abyss. It gets impossible to root for Artie when you hear the wake of chaos he lays down for everyone who ever loved him and the gigantic pity parties he attended in his own honor.
I feel like this book was prematurely written and with the passage of time, more years of sobriety and more perspective, Artie could have edited this into something more meaningful. It is his story, so at the end of the day, he gets to tell it when and how he wants. I just expected more from this brilliantly gifted, whip-smart man. I do hope he is on the road to recovery he says he is on.
Some reviewer was critical of Howard firing Artie... and I find that insulting and ridiculous. First, I adored Artie on the Stern Show and was heart-broken when he left. Howard built his show from the ground up and has been successful for 35+ years. He is fiercely loyal to his employees (he kept Jackie for all those years!). I can't imagine what it was like for Howard to watch Artie black-out during shows, fall asleep, speak incoherently, snore on air and treat his precious job so cavalierly. Artie says in his book many times Howard gave him a million chances - Artie screwed himself out of the show and he owns it. Howard runs a business and delivers a great product; his first priority are his fans. Artie disrespected the show, the fans and Howard. He deserved to lose his job.
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18 people found this helpful
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- Jay
- 01-31-14
Life of an addict
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes, if the friend follows the Howard Stern show or is fan of Artie.
Would you listen to another book narrated by Sean Runnette?
No, this was a hard assignment for Sean Runnette. The Author is a radio personality with an outstanding voice for Radio.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?
How functioning addicts live and the great lengths they take to feed their addiction.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Dillon77
- 06-28-14
Raw and Honest...
What made the experience of listening to Crash and Burn the most enjoyable?
As a long time fan of Artie and the Howard Stern show, I felt there was so much that was going on with Artie that I wish I knew. This book exposed so much of what was going on "off the air" that I had it hard to stop listening. This book made so much make sense for me.
What did you like best about this story?
The brutal honesty and "nothing held back" attitude that Artie has. Fans of Artie already know how great he tells a story. When it comes to a serious topic that this book covers, Artie did an excellent job of keeping it as lighthearted as possible in a way that only he can.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
When Artie recounted his relationship with Adrienne and when he got 100% honest about the suicide attempt.
Any additional comments?
I'm always pulling for Artie.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Matthew
- 11-09-13
Not Narrated by Artie--boring and unpleasant
It was a horrible decision to have another narrator read in a monotone instead of having Artie read his own book. I find Artie very funny, mostly because of his tone of voice and comic timing. Both these things are rendered irrelevant of course. This sordid story is not entertaining or well-written, and not at all pleasant to listen to. I'm not interested in listening to a "scared straight" episode. His first book was funny. Get "Too Fat to Fish" instead and skip this one.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Seanzon
- 11-14-17
A Fascinating Look into a Brilliant Comic
This is a pretty stellar followup to "Too Fat to Fish." Artie Lange and Anthony Bozza are able to wonderfully tell us a compelling story that is simultaneously humorous and heartwrenching as well. Artie's story is very bleak and depressing for the first three-quarters of the book but it ends on an upbeat and inspirational note, which is actually very bittersweet if you consider that he's fallen off the heroin wagon since he wrote the book (as recent as May of this year) and has since lost his fiance Adrienne as well (she is now seeing someone else). You really want to root for Artie when he finds something that works for him (AA) but then you are left wondering if this cycle that Artie puts himself through of conquering his demons and then relapsing again is something that he's going to keep struggling with for the rest of his life (and you hope that he doesn't have a similar fate to Carrie Fisher who also went through everything Artie is going through).
As for the prose itself, Artie and Bozza are, as I said above, able to tell a story that is simultaneously humorous and painfully depressing with the best instance of that being his Playboy Mansion story that begins with Artie ripping his pants before he has to go on stage and ends with him vomiting up pills in a porta potty.
As for the narration, well, it's unusual, and it's unusual for a couple of reasons. It's unusual that they didn't just get Artie to do it since these are his stories and we know he's capable of recounting them in a humorous way, but it's also unusual in the way that Sean Runnette sounds a LOT like Howard Stern, which makes you wonder if the intent was always to get Howard but he turned them down. As hard as Runnette is to listen to initially (hard in the sense that you'd rather listen to Artie himself), I will say he does a pretty good impression of Artie and if you actually consider how much he sounds like Stern and you consider the intent was to probably get Stern all along, he's able to suck you in and get you to listen to the compelling story, plus he is very good at conveying the gravity of Artie's depressing situations, especially in the chapters where Artie is living with his mother and is at his lowest point in terms of his confidence eroding.
All in all I'd recommend this to anyone who is a big Artie Lange fan and I'm looking forward to the third collaboration with Lange and Bozza, set to come out anytime now!
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2 people found this helpful
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- T
- 07-27-15
Funny, sad, raw & authentic!
Where does Crash and Burn rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
This book is at the top of my list because of the authenticity.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Crash and Burn?
Meeting Adrienne, Playboy mansion event, Private Jet bathroom episode
What about Sean Runnette’s performance did you like?
Loved it. I felt that he had the real emotion of the story.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?
n/a
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2 people found this helpful
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- Christopher
- 08-15-14
If you ever wondered what became of Artie Lange...
This book fills in the blank. For those of us that saw him slowly fall into addiction, and denied it because we didn't want to lose the guy that made us laugh every morning, it really backs up the truck and makes you understand how bad things were leading up to his suicide attempt, and what happened to him in the aftermath.
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2 people found this helpful
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- David Korpel
- 12-27-13
Incredible story, almost unbelievable, poor narr.
What did you love best about Crash and Burn?
Great story, as always. Very sad though, horrible to hear someone in such pain. Unfortunately I find that I can relate to the feelings all too well.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Artie of course
Did the narration match the pace of the story?
Not at all, very bad narration for this book. Artie narrating it himself would have put it over the top.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
When he got really serious about Adrienne and you could tell he wasn't joking or trying to craft a story, he was telling it from the heart.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Chad
- 12-13-13
Entertaining and candid, but depressing
Is there anything you would change about this book?
I never knew that Artie struggled with such hardcore drug addiction. Therefore, most of the book is focused on his addiction struggles, and there are many dark moments to the book, such as when he tried killing himself, or drinking Bleach (to get high). Props to Artie for being so forthright, and candid, however, I almost stopped listening to the book, due to how depressing it became. As someone who never used drugs, besides finding it difficult to relate, it became overwhelming.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Crash and Burn?
When Artie first met his girlfriend (now fiance).
Which scene was your favorite?
The Playboy Mansion Story
Do you think Crash and Burn needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?
No.
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1 person found this helpful
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- kris
- 11-23-13
CRASH & BURN & SAVED
What made the experience of listening to Crash and Burn the most enjoyable?
Artie's honesty intertwined with his signature humor
Who was your favorite character and why?
His Mom, sister, and Adrienne. Amazing women.
Which scene was your favorite?
When he and the young guy were pulled over by cops and left to spend the night in the car. The way Artie tells that scene, I could almost see it as if I were there. Hysterical.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Yes, it was hard to put down because I could hardly wait to hear what happened next. I was rooting for him at every chapter.
Any additional comments?
These celebrity "train wreck to sobriety" stories never cease to amaze me. The depths of what people do for drugs is beyond my comprehension. I have two glasses of wine and I worry about dumb things I may have done. I cannot imagine what they live through, by their own admission, by their own choices. It's always great to learn they've beat the demons.
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