-
Has Anyone Seen My Pants?
- Narrated by: Sarah Colonna
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged Audiobook
- Release date: 03-31-15
- Language: English
- Publisher: Tantor Audio
Regular price: $27.99
People who bought this also bought...
-
I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 417
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 383
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 383
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
-
I Know What I'm Doing - and Other Lies I Tell Myself
- Dispatches from a Life Under Construction
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 549
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 500
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 495
Jen Kirkman wants to be the voice in your head that says, "Hey, you're okay. Even if you sometimes think you aren't! And especially if other people try to tell you you're not." In I Know What I'm Doing - and Other Lies I Tell Myself, Jen offers up all the gory details of a life permanently in progress. She reassures you that it's okay to not have life completely figured out, even when you reach middle age (and find your first gray pubic hair!).
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Now that's entertainment
- By Keiran McLaren on 03-20-17
-
My Inappropriate Life
- Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 222
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 192
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 194
In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Very hard to listen to!
- By Edward on 03-13-13
-
You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again
- One Woman's Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 169
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 156
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 155
You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin. Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue, which provided her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love - and, ultimately, her very own happy ending.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Best storyteller
- By Kelly LaBelle on 10-27-16
-
Man Up!
- Tales of My Delusional Self-Confidence
- By: Ross Mathews, Gwyneth Paltrow (foreword), Chelsea Handler (afterword)
- Narrated by: Ross Mathews
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 669
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 609
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 608
As a young kid growing up in a farm town, Ross Mathews might as well have wished for a pet unicorn or a calorie-free cookie tree to grow in his front yard. Either of those far-fetched fantasies would have been more likely to come true than his real dream: working in television in Hollywood, California. Seriously, that stuff just doesn't happen to people like Ross. But guess what. It totally did.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Seriously funny!
- By Ludimila on 06-29-13
-
My Horizontal Life
- A Collection of One-Night Stands
- By: Chelsea Handler
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 1,599
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,014
-
Story3.5 out of 5 stars 1,020
You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Chelsea, You are HYSTERICAL!
- By Kathryn on 12-10-08
-
I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 417
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 383
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 383
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
-
I Know What I'm Doing - and Other Lies I Tell Myself
- Dispatches from a Life Under Construction
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 549
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 500
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 495
Jen Kirkman wants to be the voice in your head that says, "Hey, you're okay. Even if you sometimes think you aren't! And especially if other people try to tell you you're not." In I Know What I'm Doing - and Other Lies I Tell Myself, Jen offers up all the gory details of a life permanently in progress. She reassures you that it's okay to not have life completely figured out, even when you reach middle age (and find your first gray pubic hair!).
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Now that's entertainment
- By Keiran McLaren on 03-20-17
-
My Inappropriate Life
- Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 222
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 192
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 194
In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Very hard to listen to!
- By Edward on 03-13-13
-
You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again
- One Woman's Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 3 hrs and 30 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 169
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 156
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 155
You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin. Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue, which provided her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love - and, ultimately, her very own happy ending.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Best storyteller
- By Kelly LaBelle on 10-27-16
-
Man Up!
- Tales of My Delusional Self-Confidence
- By: Ross Mathews, Gwyneth Paltrow (foreword), Chelsea Handler (afterword)
- Narrated by: Ross Mathews
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 669
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 609
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 608
As a young kid growing up in a farm town, Ross Mathews might as well have wished for a pet unicorn or a calorie-free cookie tree to grow in his front yard. Either of those far-fetched fantasies would have been more likely to come true than his real dream: working in television in Hollywood, California. Seriously, that stuff just doesn't happen to people like Ross. But guess what. It totally did.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Seriously funny!
- By Ludimila on 06-29-13
-
My Horizontal Life
- A Collection of One-Night Stands
- By: Chelsea Handler
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 1,599
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,014
-
Story3.5 out of 5 stars 1,020
You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation. Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, occasionally outlandish, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Chelsea, You are HYSTERICAL!
- By Kathryn on 12-10-08
-
I'm Fine...and Other Lies
- By: Whitney Cummings
- Narrated by: Whitney Cummings
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,540
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,409
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,413
A hilarious and emotional personal account of the life, times, mistakes, and crippling codependence of comedian, producer, director, actress, and writer Whitney Cummings. Full of intellect, pathos, and profundity, I'm Fine...and Other Lies is, in Whitney's words, her first book, which means her last date. With her signature incendiary edge and self-deprecation, Whitney comes clean about what has shaped her into the trailblazing comic that she is today.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
I've been waiting for this woman to write a book!
- By Giggle Pants on 10-09-17
-
Uganda Be Kidding Me
- By: Chelsea Handler
- Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
- Length: 5 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,313
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,023
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 2,024
Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Yes!
- By Natalie on 09-10-15
-
My Squirrel Days
- By: Ellie Kemper
- Narrated by: Ellie Kemper
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 159
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 140
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 139
There comes a time in every sitcom actress’ life when she is faced with the prospect of writing a book. When Ellie Kemper’s number was up, she was ready. Contagiously cheerful, predictably wholesome, and mostly inspiring except for one essay about her husband’s feet, My Squirrel Days is a funny, freewheeling tour of Ellie’s life - from growing up in suburban St. Louis with a vivid imagination and a crush on David Letterman to moving to Los Angeles and accidentally falling on Doris Kearns Goodwin.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
If you love Ellie Kemper get this book!
- By Samantha on 10-14-18
-
Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang
- By: Chelsea Handler
- Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,048
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 919
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 914
Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, the number-one best-selling author of Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, adulthood, and daughterhood.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Hilarious
- By Stefanie on 05-19-14
-
Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me
- By: Chelsea's Family Friends and Other Victims
- Narrated by: Johnny Kansas, Stephanie Stehling, Heather McDonald, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 625
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 478
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 477
Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness", the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers - they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Money Grab… Chelsea Owes Me a Credit!
- By Kathleen on 05-26-11
-
I Don't Know What You Know Me From
- Confessions of a Co-Star
- By: Judy Greer
- Narrated by: Judy Greer
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 694
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 635
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 632
You know Judy Greer, right? Wait, what was she in again? The Wedding Planner, 13 Going on 30, 27 Dresses, The Descendants. Yes, you totally recognize her. And, odds are, if you're like most women in America, you feel like she's already your friend. Thankfully, Greer has finally written a book of essays about all the moments, topics, observations, and confessions that you would hope to hear from your best friend.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Yay!!! Another Audible Favorite!
- By Amazon Customer on 04-10-14
-
I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 567
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 513
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 508
Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth on 09-16-15
-
Auschwitz #34207
- The Joe Rubinstein Story
- By: Nancy Sprowell Geise
- Narrated by: Richard Rieman
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 405
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 382
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 384
Shortly before dawn on a frigid morning in Radom, Poland, twenty-one year-old Joe answered a knock at the door of the cottage he shared with his widowed mother and siblings. German soldiers forced him onto a crowded open-air truck. Wearing only an undershirt and shorts, Joe was left on the truck with no protection from the cold. By the next morning, several around him would be dead. From there, things got worse for young Joe, much worse.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
A life changing read
- By mwatt on 03-26-16
-
Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
- By: Chelsea Handler
- Narrated by: Chelsea Handler
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 3,015
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,004
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 2,014
In this wickedly honest new work, Chelsea Handler casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Just Plain FUNNYYYY!!!!!!!!!
- By Theodore on 04-27-12
-
Girl Logic
- The Genius and the Absurdity
- By: Iliza Shlesinger
- Narrated by: Mayim Bialik, Iliza Shlesinger
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,379
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,190
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,181
From breakout stand-up comedian Iliza Shlesinger comes a subversively funny collection of essays and observations on a confident woman's approach to friendship, singlehood, and relationships. "Girl Logic" is Iliza's term for the way women obsess over details and situations that men don't necessarily even notice. She describes it as a characteristically female way of thinking that appears to be contradictory and circuitous but is actually a complicated and highly evolved way of looking at the world.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
A delight
- By Haha917 on 03-28-18
-
This Will Only Hurt a Little
- By: Busy Philipps
- Narrated by: Busy Philipps
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,597
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,476
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 1,462
Busy Philipps’ autobiographical audiobook offers the same unfiltered and candid storytelling that her Instagram followers have come to know and love, from growing up in Scottsdale, Arizona, and her painful and painfully funny teen years to her life as a working actress, mother, and famous best friend. Busy is the rare entertainer whose impressive arsenal of talents as an actress is equally matched by her storytelling ability, sense of humor, and sharp observations about life, love, and motherhood. Her conversational writing reminds us what we love about her on screens of all sizes.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
I wanted to like it so much...
- By Amy Isbell on 10-18-18
-
This Is Just My Face
- Try Not to Stare
- By: Gabourey Sidibe
- Narrated by: Gabourey Sidibe
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,319
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 2,121
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,119
Gabourey Sidibe - "Gabby" to her legion of fans - skyrocketed to international fame in 2009 when she played the leading role in Lee Daniels' acclaimed movie Precious. In This Is Just My Face, she shares a one-of-a-kind life story in a voice as fresh and challenging as many of the unique characters she's played onscreen. With full-throttle honesty, Sidibe paints her Bed-Stuy/Harlem family life with a polygamous father and a gifted mother who supports her two children by singing in the subway.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Honest, heart wrenching, and hilarious!
- By CleverLewis on 05-16-17
Publisher's Summary
How does a gal with a successful career, great friends, and a razor-sharp wit find herself wandering pantsless through the hallways of a casino hotel in Iowa on New Year's Eve? Ask Sarah Colonna.
Has Anyone Seen My Pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America (and Mexico!) with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts. From a fling gone wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah's signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart - not to mention your pants.
Critic Reviews
What members say
Average Customer Ratings
Overall
-
4.5 out of 5 stars
-
5 Stars222
-
4 Stars80
-
3 Stars24
-
2 Stars10
-
1 Stars5
Performance
-
4.5 out of 5 stars
-
5 Stars209
-
4 Stars59
-
3 Stars15
-
2 Stars10
-
1 Stars3
Story
-
4.5 out of 5 stars
-
5 Stars186
-
4 Stars72
-
3 Stars22
-
2 Stars10
-
1 Stars6
-
Overall2 out of 5 stars
-
Performance3 out of 5 stars
-
Story2 out of 5 stars
- lisa martinez
- 04-28-15
clearance shelf material
I've only known Sarah Colonna from her being on the comedic panel of Chelsea lately, I enjoyed her then so I thought, "why not?" I had just read Jenny McCarthy's book, "love, lust, and the art of faking it," so I was in the mood for another funny woman's humorous take on reality. This was in my, "recommended," section. so after reading the reviews I was for sure it would make me, "laugh out loud." Sadly, I think I laughed maybe once. not to be harsh, but it wasn't funny. maybe slightly humorous. about half way through I thought about turning it off and never visiting it again, but I had paid for it, and like a bad movie I had the rational, "I've come this far, might as well finish it..." Sarah is a sweet woman, and seems to have fun adventures and surrounds herself with good people, but my recommendation is to wait till this goes on clearance. sorry Sarah.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful
-
Overall3 out of 5 stars
- Lindsey Cohen
- 06-15-15
Kinda funny- not super exciting
Nothing big happens, but I listened to the whole thing, I like her so I wanted it to be really funny.
2 of 2 people found this review helpful
-
Overall2 out of 5 stars
-
Performance3 out of 5 stars
-
Story3 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 07-29-18
listen to her work first
I had no idea who she was prior to listening. She does a lot of explaining in a way that makes you wonder what she might think of her audience's ability to understand basic communication.
Once I went to see her live I was able to appreciate this book a bit more. I wish I had done that first. it took about 4 times of starting to get past the first hour or so. It took some time to feel more engaged to follow through with the rest.
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- LTS-love to shop
- 05-24-18
Enjoyable must read/listen for all single women
I really enjoyed the book. Sarah you are a good story teller. I did not find gut busting funny. I did find myself smiling a lot while listening and regretting the book came to an end. I had know idea twitter could be used for dating. thanks for the education. If you are still doing stand up I will try to attend one of your shows.
-
Overall3 out of 5 stars
-
Performance2 out of 5 stars
-
Story3 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 12-25-17
Meh
It was ok. The performance was what put me off. You’d think if part of your profession was talking and you were telling your own story, that it would be smooth and energetic. It kind of seemed at times as if the words she was reading were a complete shock to her. I’m a little on the fence about people doing impersonations of people’s broken English too...
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Leona LaBerge
- 12-01-17
Missing Pants
I Loved this book! I can't wait to read Sarah's first book!
And I'd love to see her act, preferably in person here in Burlington Vermont (a better Burlington), or on TV, if I must!
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- donna roddvik
- 07-25-16
Great humor, sarcasm and cynicism.
Where does Has Anyone Seen My Pants? rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
Great humor, sarcasm and cynicism. Made we want to hear more stories about her work life, etc. Her voice was easy to listen to as well.
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Holly Blackorby
- 06-21-16
Hilarious!
Hated for it to end. Never realized I wasn't the only woman with the psycho girlfriends. There are more of us out there? Sarah was very open and honest with her heart. And. . . It was hilarious!
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Mary
- 01-27-16
Interestingly funny book
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
yes i would...just a phone book
Who was your favorite character and why?
the lead character...she was just fun
What does Sarah Colonna bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
her voice works with the character and the story...makes it fun to listen to.
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- kate
- 12-19-15
Good laughs
Definitely had me chuckling. I was bummed I couldn't find her other book on audible