All the Things We Never Knew

Chasing the Chaos of Mental Illness

By: Sheila Hamilton

Narrated by: Sheila Hamilton

Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins

Publisher's summary

Even as a reporter, Sheila Hamilton missed the signs as her husband David's mental illness unfolded before her. By the time she had pieced together the puzzle, it was too late. Her once brilliant, intense, and hilarious partner was dead within six weeks of a formal diagnosis of bipolar disorder, leaving his nine-year-old daughter and wife without so much as a note to explain his actions, a plan to help them recover from their profound grief, or a solution for the hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt that they would inherit from him.

All the Things We Never Knew takes listeners from David and Sheila's romance through the last three months of their life together and into the year after his death. It details their unsettling descent from ordinary life into the world of mental illness and examines the fragile line between reality and madness. Now, a decade after David's death, Sheila and her daughter, Sophie, have learned the power of choosing life over retreat, let themselves love and trust again, and understand the importance of forgiveness. Their story will resonate with all those who have loved someone suffering from bipolar disease and mental illness.

©2015 Sheila Hamilton (P)2015 Blackstone Audio, Inc.

Such a great story

Loved it, really helped me! my husband was a builder and also committed suicide. I really needed to hear this story!

Insightful

This was a good read. This highlights the problems facing society today and the better treatment of mental illness

Raw Real Heart felt and Informative

Beautifully written-This book is the real deal. A deep emotional depiction of how to cope with mental illness when it shows itself in a loved one. The thing that made this book resonate for me was the authors ability to express her feelings about everyone involved. This is an informative book for sure, but for me it is the ultimate love story. Love from every angle. I adored this read.

Great listen

This was a very eye-opening book into family issues and mental illness. Must read if you like hearing peoples journey thru hard times and dealing with life with love and grace

Important Topic. Poignant memoire.

Well written, honest but respectful memoire that beautifully honors her late husband while still accomplishing the important tasks of bring awareness, understanding around mental illness. I pray this is just a piece of the larger conversation that needs to continue to happen.

Definitely worth the read

This book is well-researched, well-written, and deeply emotional. I’m shocked at some of the horrible things listeners have said about the author. She went through so much and still wrote with deep empathy and compassion. I will be recommending this book to pretty much everyone.

An Intimate Look at Mental Illness

This book adds to the much too limited collection of books that provide an inside look into the world of mental illness. Shiela Hamilton presents mental illness from the perspective of the supporting spouse. Like 99% of spouses, she had virtually no knowledge or understanding about mental illness prior to her experiences with her husband. She describes in great detail the raw emotional feelings that she experienced over a 10 year period. She also describes her husband's emotional struggles. The book is very well written and delivered well by the author for the audiobook.

After listening to 27 of the 30 chapters of the audiobook, I decided to read some of the reader reviews. A few reviews appear to treat Ms. Hamilton unfairly and with a lot judgment. The vast majority of people in her situation would not have been able to recognize her husband's symptoms in the marriage's early years. Most people are not trained mental health clinicians. From my perspective, the fact that she did not extricate herself from a very difficult situation for herself and her daughter speaks to her love of her husband and her basic humanity. Her humanity is further illustrated by her involvement in mental health causes and her obvious yearning to understand her late husband's illness. This book is bringing much needed awareness to the field of mental health. It will help others who are in similar situations with family members.

Reality

So sad and very educating on mental illness. Most of all Im so glad to read a book that once and for all states the dangers of meds that are suppose to help but instead can add or cause more damage.

How Mental Illness Affects Family: A Raw Account

Sheila Hamilton's book covers her decade long marriage to her husband, David Kroll, who begins to spiral into mental illness several years into their marriage. Ms. Hamilton realizes early on that her husband is struggling and urges him to get help multiple times throughout the book, however despite her efforts to help him, his upbringing which included a strong influence by his parents who decried the psychological and psychiatric professions (even AFTER he commits suicide) produced an impenetrable level of denial as to the severity of his condition. Once David is finally hospitalized and officially diagnosed, many of the flaws and failures of the mental health system in Oregon are exposed. While ultimately Mr. Kroll dies by suicide, this book does a good job pointing out the helplessness that family members often feel, and calls out some hallmarks in terms of the behavior of those who struggle with bipolar disorder which may help people recognize symptoms when trying to find help for their loved ones. Living with a person who struggles with mental illness isn't easy for the one struggling, or those who have to watch them struggle. This book makes a huge point of the stigma that those with mental illnesses face, and how that stigma can prevent people from seeking or being open to help. There have been a few reviews that have spoken about Ms. Hamilton's actions throughout her marriage, and I think that everyone who reads this book needs to remember that people are human, and they make choices in their lives that they may or may not have made had they been aware of facts learned later. But ultimately, the story is what it is, and I don't believe that the book ascribes "blame" to any one person in the book for what happened or tries to make Ms. Hamilton out to be some kind of victim or hero. Additionally, while Ms. Hamilton states that she "didn't know" about her husband's illness, I believe what is meant is that he had never been given a diagnosis until the point he was hospitalized because he refused to seek care. She clearly states throughout the book the various concerns she had about her husband's behavior and affairs and his erratic emotional states. I think this is an important perspective to read because often people fail to recognize the impact that mental illness can have on those around the struggling person - especially partners and children. I listened to the audiobook, which is artfully read by Ms. Hamilton, and found it heartfelt and compelling. An excellent book. I am also a person who struggles with major depressive disorder, and while that is different from bipolar disorder, I didn't find this story to be offensive or blaming.

Worth listening to

I don’t usually write reviews, but this one deserves a shout out. It’s a thought provoking true story about mental illness, heartbreak and recovery. My daughter has a mental illness and while her story sounds much like this, she is still struggling, we are still struggling with its ugliness. A mother’s relationship and a wife’s relationship with a mentally ill family member are very different. I can’t imagine the betrayal and pain Sheila experienced. If you have a family member of someone you love has a mental illness, this book is a must.