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I Don't Want to Talk About It

Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
Narrated by: Adam Verner
Length: 12 hrs and 28 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (345 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Psychotherapist Terrence Real offers an important and compelling look at the silent epidemic of depression among men and shows, with compassion and clarity, what can be done to break this vicious cycle.

©1997 Terry Real (P)2011 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"Offers not only crucial insights to men suffering from depression but also comfort and guidance to the women who love them." (John Bradshaw)

What members say

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Good to listen to but be careful!

I'm one of the people that he refers to because I am a depressed man. This book helped me a lot and it would do anyone who has depression as well, but be careful - some parts of it are very emotionally draining and so you should be careful.

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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Must read for all men.

My therapist wife suggested it. Excellent read and listen. I hope that our coming generation embodies the ideals of this book.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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Dated, Freudian take on subject with shock value

We have gained a great deal of knowledge in the last few decades on the subject of depression. From what I have learned from other sources I think this book is a bit dated in its approach to depression.

The author takes a Freudian approach to the subject that basically blames depression on your parents treatment of you. The overall theory of the book is that depression in men is rampant, hidden, and passed on generation to generation. The author tells story after story of what seem to me to be "worst-case-scenario" cases that are very extreme. He gets the people in the office with their family, they talk or re-enact, and then a break through happens when the man realizes its all because his dad beat him or his mom was a drunk and now he is hurting his children in the same manner. Oh, and the author admits that the stories are "composite" from various patients, so its hard to tell how much he is sensationalizing. There is a lot of cursing in these tales, such as a son repeatedly telling his dad, "F*** you" in a role play scenario.

If someone is a hard case that wouldn't read a more traditional self-help sort of book, then this book could possibly scare or shock them enough into reading it. Otherwise I do not see any reason for choosing it above any other book on depression. I don't see how I could recommend it.

29 of 36 people found this review helpful

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wow. great story and understanding of depression

great book. Thisnhas helped me to understand what I need to do to heal myself

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • JT
  • 10-31-16

Love it!

Absolutely loved everything about this book. As a female therapist working mostly w/ male patients- This book taught me a great deal about depressive men. I particularly enjoyed Terrys usage of Pt vignettes & inclusion of his own personal life story which gave the reading a much genuine effect to it.

I can't say enough about how much I also loved Adam Verners delivery. Loved it!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Very Helpful in Understanding My Husband

I read this book because I heard about it on NPR and the concept of it resonated with me regarding some interactions my husband and I have had. It made me wonder if there is anything I could do to improve my marriage by more deeply understanding some things my husband may be dealing with but doesn't want to talk about. Even though much of the book discusses mainly men whose partners have either left them or are threatening to leave them due to either neglect, cheating, abuse, or some other major concern (which is not the case with me), I found myself nodding along and having several "aha!" moments that really made me connect some of my husband's less desirable behaviors with solid potential reasons for them, and how I might be able to open a useful, supportive dialogue for both of us to be heard. This book would obviously be a terrific read for men, but I also think it is incredibly helpful for women involved with potentially depressed men, as well. It really helps to create a level of insight and understanding that I simply did not have before listening to this book. Now I just have to convince my husband to listen, haha!!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Unraveling the lonely male mind.

Would you listen to I Don't Want to Talk About It again? Why?

Yes, I now refer to this audio book to keep myself from tracking down old roads of self pity. I will likely buy the hard copy so I can highlight and grab when needed.

What was one of the most memorable moments of I Don't Want to Talk About It?

The hard honesty of family dysfunction when a workaholic father cannot identify with his past trauma.

What about Adam Verner’s performance did you like?

I looked up Adams work and accomplishments, Adam facilitates and orchestrates deep engagement for the listener, he is warm inviting and knows his craft at a very high level. I am compelled to find other books by Adam simply to see if I find that same comfort and enjoyment. Adam was a perfect choice for these diverse and complex settings.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

This is self help on very raw and honest level, it has helped me to realize how much work needs to be done to find balance and peace in our souls.

Any additional comments?

Though the author is firm in his political and religious positions, he also open and even mystified by outcomes of patients and their own grace and resilience. Terrence Real is a honest hard working, and brilliant therapist. Clearly Terrence Real has decades of patient investment, and that personal dedication is transfered eloquently in this book.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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so much great content to reflect on

I really enjoyed this audible. Although, I already had the book and began to read it, I found the audible even more enjoyable

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Excellent!

A must read for any make, mother of boys or partners.i highly recommend this book.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Narrator = Male Version of SIRI

Material is good if you can get past the fact that the name version of SIRI is reading you the book. Narrator started out very robot-like in his reading but eventually started sounding more human as the book moved along. Pretty difficult to follow at first, but he gets better. Material of the book is good and worth a listen

5 of 8 people found this review helpful