The ADHD Effect on Marriage

Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps

By: Melissa Orlov

Narrated by: Laura Jennings

Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins

Publisher's summary

An invaluable resource for couples in which one of the partners suffers from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), this authoritative book guides troubled marriages toward an understanding of and appreciation for the struggles and triumphs of a relationship affected by it and to look at the disorder in a more positive and less disruptive way. Going beyond traditional marriage counseling, this discussion offers advice from the author's personal experience and years of research and identifies patterns of behavior that can hurt marriages - such as nagging, intimacy problems, sudden anger, and memory issues - through the use of vignettes and descriptions of actual couples and their ADHD struggles and solutions. This resource encourages both spouses to become active partners in improving their relationship and healing the fissures that ADHD can cause.

©2010 Melissa Orlov (P)2017 Tantor

Nail and hammer meet

This book is actually the life I'm living now. I am the non-adhd spouse. It's been something I've been looking for a long time. 1/2 way through. So far it's had some good suggestions I knew I needed to follow but needed to hear it from an authority.

Amazing

Just like my life it doesn’t fix anything but at least understand that is something that I didn’t ask for

Book is SO helpful!

The book is extremely helpful for those who are seeking more information on how ADHD affects relationships. It is spot on. The one thing I did NOT care for is the narrator's Jody Foster-esque voice. It gritted on my nerves at first, but I got used to it.

Very enjoyable audiobook

I found this book to be very helpful and had some very interesting concepts. While I couldn’t relate to many of the stereotypical ADHD traits there was still enough useful information in the book to make it worthwhile.

Very Insightful and Easy to Read

This book helped me feel seen. It put words to the patterns that we have been living in our relationship, providing me the language to begin the hard conversations and giving us manageable actions to take. It was also very easy to read and understand the concepts proposed.

Also, contrary to other reviews I thought author was very thoughtful with interchanging the genders between the perspectives. Seems widely applicable to all being impacted by ADHD.

It also gave me hope!

Great resource to improve marriage!

I’m a non-ADHD spouse looking to learn more about my husbands ADHD and how it influences our marriage. This book gives practical recommendations for BOTH spouses. It was very well balanced and suggested healthy ways to involve professional help, seek treatment for BOTH spouses, and made a clear boundary where ADHD stops and abuse begins. She is very clear on what is unacceptable, even for someone with ADHD. I finally feel like we aren’t crazy, we aren’t suffering alone, and the work that’s put in to treating symptoms and their effects with benefit BOTH of us greatly. Very worth the read!

Fantastic resource

Filled cover to cover with PRACTICAL strategies and ways to grow as a couple when you or your partner have ADHD. Helps to both understand your partner AND yourself!

Worth the read for marriages with an ADHD spouse

I am the ADHD (male) spouse. This book is directed more at the non-ADHD spouse, and contains great advice. So I highly recommend it for the non-ADHD spouse. My non-ADHD spousev had found it to be very helpful, and, as she progresses through each section, putting recommendations into action already facilitating improvements in our marital relationship.

However, if you're the one with ADD/ADHD, the way she talks about some things can be more difficult or even feel offensive at times. But this is because she's speaking to the non-ADHD spouse, and acknowledging their emotional experiences of living with you. And that can be hard to hear and accept, without feeling very threatened or judged. The author's time is clearly such that this is not her intent. The intent is to validate the non-ADHD spouse's experience. and that can be very hard to hear and accept. Taken in this light, the book can be helpful for both sides in gaining empathy towards the other's experience. And in that light can potentially facilitate better outcomes. Nonetheless, this can also trigger feelings of judgement, defensiveness, guilt/shame/blame, etc. for the ADHD spouse. so be prepared for that. Both of you will have to do your best to put the best construction in your respective approved in these situations.

I got through it fine. But I've also done a decent amount of work on myself in this area before listening to the book. Even with that, the general tone throughout the book was still very difficult at times.

So... non-ADHD spouses, please take all this into consideration before recommending to your spouse that they read it too. I'm not saying don't recommend it. Simply do your best to be aware of your spouse's sensitivities, while they are reading the book, if you choose to recommend it. For some of you, it may not produce the desired effect.

must buy if you have adult adhd

this is eye opening. If you are an adult with ADHD or a spouse of an adult with ADHD. You must take the time to listen to this. It hits every aspect of a relationship and how ADHD has effected it.

Helped understand relationship better

This book opened my eyes to how ADD has contributed to some ongoing behavior patterns in our marriage and how to address them. Full of helpful tips on how to change habits and thinking approach to help get a grip on living in an ADD marriage.
The book is mainly geared towards a marriage where just one spouse has ADD. I would have loved if it had addressed a marriage where both partners have been diagnosed (my case).
Although I did get a lot out of the content of the book, I didn't care for the narrator. Her voice was a little too soft spoken with almost a fake, sexy-tone to it.