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Untangled
- Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
- Narrated by: Lisa Damour Ph.D.
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
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Publisher's summary
New York Times best seller.
An award-winning guide to the sometimes erratic and confusing behavior of teenage girls that explains what's going on, prepares parents for what's to come, and lets them know when it's time to worry.
Look for Under Pressure, the companion guide to coping with stress and anxiety among girls, available now.
In this sane, highly engaging, and informed guide for parents of daughters, Dr. Damour draws on decades of experience and the latest research to reveal the seven distinct - and absolutely normal - developmental transitions that turn girls into grown-ups, including parting with childhood, contending with adult authority, entering the romantic world, and caring for herself. Providing realistic scenarios and welcome advice on how to engage daughters in smart, constructive ways, Untangled gives parents a broad framework for understanding their daughters while addressing their most common questions, including:
- My 13-year-old rolls her eyes when I try to talk to her and only does it more when I get angry with her about it. How should I respond?
- Do I tell my teen daughter that I'm checking her phone?
- My daughter suffers from test anxiety. What can I do to help her?
- Where's the line between healthy eating and having an eating disorder?
- My teenage daughter wants to know why I'm against pot when it's legal in some states. What should I say?
- My daughter's friend is cutting herself. Do I call the girl's mother to let her know?
Perhaps most important, Untangled helps mothers and fathers understand, connect, and grow with their daughters. When parents know what makes their daughter tick, they can embrace and enjoy the challenge of raising a healthy, happy young woman.
Books for a Better Life Award winner.
“Finally, there’s some good news for puzzled parents of adolescent girls, and psychologist Lisa Damour is the bearer of that happy news. [Untangled] is the most down-to-earth, readable parenting book I’ve come across in a long time.” (The Washington Post)
“Anna Freud wrote in 1958, ‘There are few situations in life which are more difficult to cope with than an adolescent son or daughter during the attempt to liberate themselves.’ In the intervening decades, the transition doesn’t appear to have gotten any easier which makes Untangled such a welcome new resource.” (The Boston Globe)
Critic reviews
"For years people have been asking me for the 'girl equivalent of Raising Cain', and I haven't known exactly what to recommend. Now I do." (Michael Thompson, PhD, coauthor of Raising Cain)
"An essential guide to understanding and supporting girls throughout their development. It's obvious that Dr. Damour 'gets' girls and understands the best way for any adult to help them navigate the common yet difficult challenges so many girls face." (Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees & Wannabes)
"A gem. Damour deftly blends insights from her clinical experience working with girls, time-honored wisdom on adolescence, the latest social science and neuroscience research, and frank descriptions of cultural trends and media messages. From the moment I read the last page I've been recommending it to my clients (including those with sons!) and colleagues, and using it as a refreshing guide in my own work with teenagers and their parents." (Wendy Mogel, PhD, author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee)
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- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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While most parenting programs are designed to coerce kids to change, Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative, showing you how to help your children awaken their natural instincts to cooperate, rather than employing threats or bribes, which inevitably fuels their resistance. By staying calm and being the confident "captain of the ship" your child needs, you will learn how to parent from a place of strong, durable connection, and you'll be better able to help your kids navigate the challenging moments of growing up.
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Highly recommended.
- By Nothing really matters on 10-13-13
By: Susan Stiffelman
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For Parents Only
- Getting Inside the Head of Your Kid
- By: Shaunti Feldhahn, Lisa Author Rice
- Narrated by: Shaunti Feldhahn
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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What parent hasn't occasionally looked at their beloved but bewildering offspring and wondered, what in the world is he thinking, or why is my sweet little girl acting like that? In this remarkable audiobook, Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa Rice take you inside the mind of teens and preteens through the same innovative approach that seized national attention in the best-selling book For Women Only, For Men Only, and For Young Women Only.
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great points, extremely Christian
- By Kimiko Carpenter on 05-25-22
By: Shaunti Feldhahn, and others
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Have a New Teenager by Friday
- From Mouthy and Moody to Respectful and Responsible in 5 Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Kirby Heybourne
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Congratulations! You have a teenager in your home. Life will never quite be the same again (of course, you already know that). But it can be better than you’ve ever dreamed. In fact, you’re just five days away from your teenager asking, “What can I do to help?” Guaranteed! With his signature wit and commonsense psychology, internationally recognized family expert and New York Times best-selling author Dr. Kevin Leman will help you. your teenager’s life. With Dr. Leman’s instinct and insight, plus an index with gutsy advice on 75 hot-button issues that keep parents up at night.
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Listen with a Critical Mind
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By: Kevin Leman
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Oddly Normal
- One Family's Struggle to Help Their Teenage Son Come to Terms with His Sexuality
- By: John Schwartz
- Narrated by: John Schwartz, Joseph Schwartz
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Three years ago, John Schwartz, a national correspondent for the New York Times, got the call that every parent hopes never to receive: His 13-year-old son, Joe, was in the hospital following a suicide attempt. Mustering the courage to come out to his classmates, Joe had delivered a tirade about homophobic and sexist attitudes that was greeted with unease and confusion by his fellow students. Hours later, he took an overdose of pills.
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The Effect of Parental Caring
- By Wiliam on 01-16-13
By: John Schwartz
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Differently Wired
- Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World
- By: Deborah Reber
- Narrated by: Deborah Reber
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are - these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a best-selling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and more.
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very well thought out but not for everyone
- By Trudy Owens on 01-01-19
By: Deborah Reber
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Rethinking Narcissism
- The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling Special
- By: Dr. Craig Malkin
- Narrated by: Kiff VandenHeuvel
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In Rethinking Narcissism listeners will learn that there's far more to narcissism than its reductive invective would imply. The truth is that narcissists (all of us) fall on a spectrum somewhere between utter selflessness on the one side and arrogance and grandiosity on the other. A healthy middle exhibits a strong sense of self.
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Great info, but proceed with caution
- By Caterina M. Platt on 11-16-17
By: Dr. Craig Malkin
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It's OK to Go up the Slide
- Renegade Rules for Raising Confident and Creative Kids
- By: Heather Shumaker
- Narrated by: Laurel Lefkow
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Heather Shumaker has sparked much discussion with her "renegade rules for raising competent and compassionate kids". In this follow-up book, she takes on new hot-button issues like banning homework, technology use, and skipping kindergarten. Shumaker offers broader guidance on how parents can control their own anger and move from an overscheduled life to one of more free play.
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Amazing resource for parents and teachers
- By Ahmed on 05-11-16
By: Heather Shumaker
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The Curse of the Good Girl
- Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence
- By: Rachel Simmons
- Narrated by: Christina Moore
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Rachel Simmons is a New York Times best-selling author and the founding director of the Girls' Leadership Institute. The Curse of the Good Girl looks into the phenomenon of the glass ceiling placed on girls who attempt to live up to the standard of being "good". Simmons then shows how parents can help build girls' self-esteem and give them the strength to pursue their goals.
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Best book for mom's of daughters that I have read
- By Wendy on 05-20-10
By: Rachel Simmons
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Women Who Think Too Much
- How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life
- By: Susan Nolen-Hoeksema
- Narrated by: Sheryl Bernstein
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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It's not a surprise that our fast-paced, overly analytical culture is pushing people - especially women - to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this "overthinking". Her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women - more than half of those in her extensive study - are doing it too much and too often, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life.
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Generic tools for overcoming overthinking
- By letlet on 01-09-19
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When Your Kid Is Hurting
- Helping Your Child Through the Tough Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Children today live in an unpredictable, disruptive, and often violent world. Many of them live in two different homes with different sets of expectations. They face bullying at school and online. They hear news of school shootings, and racially or religiously motivated violence. They may have lost a friend or a loved one. As parents, the impulse to protect our children is strong, but that very protection can end up handicapping them for life. Rather than seek to save them from the hard things, parents must teach their kids how to cope with and rise above their problems.
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So helpful for so many situations
- By Natalie on 10-03-18
By: Kevin Leman
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Strong Mothers, Strong Sons
- Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men
- By: Meg Meeker
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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From the moment a mother holds her newborn son, his eyes tell her that she is his world. But often, as he grows up, the boy who needs her simultaneously pushes her away. Calling upon thirty years of experience as a pediatrician, Meg Meeker, MD, a highly sought-after national speaker, assistant professor of clinical medicine, and mother of four, shares the secrets that every mother needs to know in order to strengthen-or rebuild-her relationship with her son.
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Update of wording in your book is required
- By danamc on 08-27-18
By: Meg Meeker
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The Self-Driven Child
- The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control over Their Lives
- By: William Stixrud PhD, Ned Johnson
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith
- Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Many of us know we're putting too much pressure on our kids - and on ourselves - but how do we get off this crazy train? We want our children to succeed, to be their best, and to do their best, but what if they are not on board? A few years ago, Ned Johnson and Bill Stixrud started noticing the same problem from different angles: even high-performing kids were coming to them acutely stressed and lacking any real motivation. Many complained that they had no real control over their lives.
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Practical, wise, and well researched
- By Andrew on 07-12-18
By: William Stixrud PhD, and others
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Bringing Up Girls
- Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: James C. Dobson
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on extensive research, and handled with Dr. Dobson's trademark down-to-earth approach, Bringing Up Girls will equip parents like you to face the challenges of raising your daughters to become healthy, happy, and successful women who overcome challenges specific to girls and women today and who ultimately excel in life.
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Solid concepts, poor presentation
- By honuhunter on 12-06-18
By: James C. Dobson
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neccessary reading
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Should had read the details instead of the title.
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WHY Do They Act That Way?
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Even smart kids do stupid things. It's a simple fact of life. No one makes it through the teenage years unscathed - not the teens and not their parents. But now there's expert help for both generations in this groundbreaking new guide for surviving the drama of adolescence. In WHY Do They Act That Way? nationally renowned, award-winning psychologist Dr. David Walsh explains exactly what happens to the human brain on the path from childhood into adolescence and adulthood.
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LOVE!!
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What listeners say about Untangled
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- LRdly
- 01-01-19
Informative and helpful
I have a 13-year-old daughter who struggles with typical teen girl stuff and grows horns at times around the house. Although we have a pretty good relationship, as the mom, I receive the brunt of her angst, anger and criticism. I downloaded this book to help me have more positive and pleasant interactions with her, and I'm glad I did.
One of my biggest takeaways was how to handle her snotty attitude without escalating into a big, stressful argument. Instead of telling teens to "be respectful," Damour tells us to tell them to "be polite." Being "respectful" is somewhat vague, but most teens know how to be polite. Teens might not like what we're asking or telling them, but they need to respond politely. When my daughter's being rude, now I calmly point out that her words are rude and if she wants a response, she can rephrase her words.
Damour also says that teens need to learn that if they want others to do things for them, they need to act decently. If my daughter's acting snotty and then wants me to drop everything and take her somewhere, I can say something like, "I'd like to help you, but it's hard for me to want to do things for you when you're not being very nice to me."
The book also has a lot of good advice for helping girls with body image. I've recommended this book to several friends, including one who is a child therapist, and they all said the book was helpful.
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- llechsd
- 02-27-16
Great insights
This book was wonderful in its insights. It helped me find some logical reasons for what we saw as illogical behavior
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- Sonia M. Rosen
- 08-02-20
"Excellent book, with a few caveats"
Overall, this book provides a very helpful framework for thinking about how to guide girls through adolescence. I really appreciated the ways Dr. Damour helped me think about the role of conflict, honesty, vulnerability, patience, and self-care in my relationship with my daughter. There were a few aspects of the book that I thought were a bit problematic. It was extremely hereto- and cis-normative, aside from a few short passages where Dr. Damour mentioned coming out as lesbian or transgender. Unfortunately, she didn’t discuss the wide range of queer identities or sexual/romantic relationships that may be relevant to adolescents, and she misgendered a hypothetical trans child. Yikes! There were some fatphobic and medically inaccurate references to weight gain as well. And her discussion of drug laws as being in response to the potential harm that can be caused by particular substances is historically and politically inaccurate, which is a bit problematic when it comes to having honest conversations with adolescent girls about substance use (and I was disappointed that there wasn’t a discussion of tobacco use and vaping, as that is a much bigger concern for me). That said, the book significantly shifted the way I have been thinking about my work as a parent of a pre-teen girl who is already taking up these developmental strands in her own behavior and thinking, and it has made me much more hopeful and excited about the years to come.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Merle B
- 09-07-18
A must read for anyone who cares about his / her daughter.
Practical, gender-equality conscious tips from a professional. I love how she addresses the very real problems adolescent girls face in this era (social media pressure, sexting, etc.), and offers suggestions that empower young girls, rather than shame them, or make them fall further down the abyss of our society's ingrained sexism / inequality.
Five stars!
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1 person found this helpful
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- RJensen
- 07-26-18
This book saved my sanity!
I am so happy I read this book! I am raising a great teenage daughter as a single mom. This has helped me navigate through the ups and downs! I highly recommend this book to all parents of teenage girls!
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- Kerstin E. Smith
- 05-26-16
Get this book!
The advice, explanations, everything was perfect! So helpful for such a confusing topic - teenage girls. Wish it was written four years ago!
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- Deanna Parker Baker
- 01-10-18
Morale booster & encouagment for single moms
I am a single mom. Single parenting was not addressed in this book at all and the examples were all about well to do children with 2 parents. Even so, this book did for me what a husband doesn't, which is to reaffirm that how my daughter is behaving is normal, and it reaffirmed some things I'm doing right, and showed me some things I'm not doing right. I'd go so far as to say it talked me down off the edge of a nervous breakdown or deep depression. This book helped me improve my relationship with my daughter. It wasn't written for single moms, but I highly recommend it to them. I have no husband to validate my feelings or actions as a parent and so I tend to be more needy of my children and more devestated when they reject me. "Untangled" gave me the validation I needed, and helped me see my daughters behavior isn't because I'm a bad mom, and she isn't always going to hate me. It hurts being rejected by your only daughter who you love so dearly, especially when there is no one to fall back on or you have no friends with teenage daughters to compare notes with. This book put things in perspective for me and showed me its all part of growing up.
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- Cassandra Harms
- 05-18-16
Very informative
One of the most important parenting books I have read in a long time. Anyone with a tween or teen girl in their life should read this.
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- Barb
- 01-31-17
So informative and helpful!
This was an easy to understand/hear, straightforward, guide with concrete techniques and advice. I recommend it to anyone with a daughter in upper Elementary School through H.S.
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- epicshopper
- 08-17-18
Love it. a must read
I really appreciate that this book doesn't point a finger at teen girls or assign blame to them for going through the trickiest portion of life. The parents should hold up a mirror and take ownership. I love the positive outlook and I will highly recommend this to my friends and family.
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