The Emotional Lives of Teenagers

Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents

By: Lisa Damour Ph.D.

Narrated by: Lisa Damour Ph.D.

An urgently needed guide to help parents understand their teenagers’ intense and often fraught emotional lives—and how to support them through this critical developmental stage—from the New York Times bestselling author of Untangled and Under Pressure

In teenagers, powerful emotions come with the territory. And with so many of today’s teens contending with academic pressure, social media stress, worries about the future, and concerns about their own mental health, it’s easy for them—and their parents—to feel anxious and overwhelmed. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Parents who read this book will learn:
• what to expect in the normal course of adolescent emotional development and when it’s time to worry
• why teens (and adults) need to understand that mental health isn’t about “feeling good” but about having feelings that fit the moment, even if those feelings are unwanted or painful
• strategies for supporting teens who feel at the mercy of their emotions so they can become psychologically aware and skilled at managing their feelings
• how to approach common challenges that come with adolescence, such as friction at home, spiking anxiety, risky behavior, navigating friendships and romances, the pull of social media, and many more
• the best ways to stay connected to their teens and how to provide the kind of relationship that adolescents need and want

With clear, research-informed explanations alongside illuminating, real-life examples, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers gives parents the concrete, practical information they need to steady their teens through the bumpy yet transformational journey into adulthood.

*Includes a downloadable PDF of recommended resources from the book

Critic reviews

“The Emotional Lives of Teenagers does a very simple and very difficult thing. It helps me feel ready for the joy, and the storm, to come.”—Slate

“Filled with relatable situations, examples, and suggestions for constructive conversations, this book will be welcomed by parents and anyone who works with adolescents. Parents looking for timely advice and reassurance will find it here in clear layman’s language.”—Booklist

“A calm, wise, and empathetic guide to a difficult period for both adolescents and parents.”—Kirkus Reviews

“Damour’s down-to-earth tone gives this the feel of a conversation with a friend, while the psychology offers valuable perspective into the scientific underpinnings of adolescence. Parents of teens will want to check this out.”—Publishers Weekly

“The Emotional Lives of Teenagers is written as clearly, usefully, and warmly as anything I’ve read about the psychology of adolescence. Lisa Damour explains why intense feelings—including negative ones—are a key part of teenage development, and how we can help young people understand and embrace the full spectrum of human emotion. I give it my highest recommendation!”—Angela Duckworth, author of Grit and co-founder of Character Lab

“Lisa Damour applies her decades of clinical experience to one of the most essential questions of our time: How can adults best support adolescent mental health? She hands parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors the playbook they need to help teenagers feel heard, healthy, and whole.”—Jewel, singer-songwriter and mental health advocate

“This book offers a crucial reframing that helps parents understand teens, their emotions, and their behavior. I couldn’t love it more. Damour gifts us with knowledge, words, and practical advice to reach our teenagers so that we can be the parents they need us to be as they become fully themselves.”—Tina Payne Bryson, co-author of The Whole-Brain Child

“In her latest book, Dr. Damour dispels harmful but pervasive myths about teen mental health. If, like most parents, you find yourself alienated or confused by your teen’s unpredictable feelings, add this book to the top of your reading pile immediately.”—Michelle Icard, author of Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen

“I can’t recommend this book enough. Damour gives parents practical and actionable research-backed advice to ensure their children develop the emotional skills they need to thrive.”—Marc Brackett, director, Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of Permission to Feel

Invaluable Resource for Parents!

I just finished listening to The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, and I am just blown away by how much important information Dr. Damour was able to squeeze into this book, which was wonderfully enjoyable to listen to. There was a perfect mix of research and practical tips with lots of interesting anecdotes sprinkled in. I especially liked Dr. Damours suggestions of actual things you could say to your child in a variety of challenging situations. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is a parent or who works with adolescents!

Short and sweet. Lots of examples. I loved it.

Great book. I loved the way is written. Very practical advice. Do yourself a favor and buy it!

Stay the course!

This is my most favorite book by Lisa Damour. Disclaimer: I currently have 2 teenage boys. There is a bounty of helpful & applicable information. Key takeaways for me: LISTEN, sympathize, be nearby “in the background,” and just because they don’t want to be seen with you or like your outfit does not mean they do not love you!

Great Book

I would recommend this to any parent that has a teenager or going to have one. Brings so much insight. Dr Lisa Damour is great so much insight and great resource to have. Thank you again

Practical help for parents of teens

Raising teenagers can feel like an isolated experience. Dr. Damour’s book is incredibly helpful to feel supported in the decisions we have already made, and practical steps to take now for the continuing path of child rearing. Thank you so much Dr. Damour!

Great advise

I learned quite a bit and plan on listening to it again in the near future.

So helpful. So reassuring. So well narrated.

As a teacher and a mom, I found this book full of insights and advice. Written with intelligence and elegance. Highly recommended.

Wonderful book!!

Such a helpful and easy to understand book. I learned a lot and appreciate the perspectives shared!

Hooked and always waiting for the next one

Lisa Damour perfectly captures the path of raising teenagers through careful words and perfect examples. I’m an avid fan of her work and this one is added to my pile of favorites. ~ a kindergarten teacher and mom of 3 girls

Great

Great book. Liked the little stories that she used for examples! Stuff like that really helps.